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[tearsofademon]

[On this mild first afternoon of November, the feed opens to a porch, where a Clefairy, who can usually be seen wearing a rose ear clip but today is wearing a whole bouquet of roses arranged in a flower crown, is seated on a table, eating dango to her heart's content.

There are multiple empty boxes next to her, and more on the other side that haven't been touched. Where does she put it all, the world may never know. She'll probably be here a while, though.

From behind the camera, though, Ryner starts talking.]

...You know, since it's been seven years today and all, I should probably have some kind of inspirational speech prepared about how far we've come or something. But I dunno, I'm not really any good at that stuff. So I don't really have one, sorry.

I guess what I will say, though, is, ahh... I don't regret it, being here. And if a even a useless guy like me can do enough to make Rose happy, and the others...

[The Clefairy, finishing her latest stick of dango, blinks at the camera before sweetly giving it the most adorable smile she can muster.]

Even if it all changes tomorrow, if I can do this much right now... Maybe that's enough. You know?

...Ahh, sorry, I'm probably not making much sense, huh. I'm way behind on sleep... But I guess what I'm saying is, I don't know what tomorrow will bring, and if you told me I could choose where I'd be tomorrow, I don't know what I'd decide...

...But I'm glad I'm here today.

Comments

[dreamsofahero]

...

Maybe...

[tearsofademon]

[...he doesn't really have much to add, so]

[dreamsofahero]

*he doesn't really have much to say, either, though obviously he's still... not exactly happy about any of this. to put it extremely mildly. and the worst part is...*

......

*... he just doesn't know what to do. though to judge by the faint trembling in his shoulders, he's definitely upset*

[tearsofademon]

[It would be so much easier to just fall asleep right now. Not deal with it. Leave it for later. Half of his instincts, finely honed for the majority of his life, want nothing more than to do that.

But that won't do anything but make things worse, really. He's so tired of making things worse.

(...And this might do that anyway, but hey, Sion keeps trying to get him to take initiative, right?)

Quietly, he stands up and walks over to where Sion is sitting, and just. Lays a tentative hand on Sion's shoulder.

He has no idea what he's doing, he has no idea what to do, but being physically present... can't hurt, at least, right?]

[dreamsofahero]

*well, Sion doesn't pull away, at least, nor does he try to shoo Ryner away. Oh, he might have tensed slightly reflexively, since he's not exactly used to physical affection, but he relaxes again pretty much immediately.

... from this close though, even with Sion's downcast gaze, it's probably evident that yes, those probably are tears threatening to form in the corners of his eyes*

[tearsofademon]

[:(]

...

[He opens his mouth briefly to say something, but closes it, not knowing what to say that wouldn't be useless at best, more likely actively making things worse again.]

[dreamsofahero]

*that's fine; if anything, his physical presence is probably more noteworthy than anything.

That, or Sion just reached a point where he can't hold it back anymore, to judge by the slight trembling in his shoulder*

[tearsofademon]

[...yeah he's going to continue to awkwardly stand here, not knowing what to do but hoping that physically being here is at least something]

[dreamsofahero]

*well, it's something? Sion's not really in any state to comment... though if Ryner continues to stand there, hand on his shoulder like that, eventually it's evident Sion really is crying. Quietly, as if still trying to resist and suppress it, but there it is*

[tearsofademon]

[well if Sion isn't going to push away, Ryner's not going to leave, so

...not that he has any idea what to say or do, still, but you know]

[dreamsofahero]

*in that case Sion's probably just going to cry until either Ryner does something or he's gotten just enough out to force the rest back down again*

[tearsofademon]

[...well when he notices you starting to force it back down...]

...ahh, if you want to cry, it's probably better if you let it out, right? Or at least, that's what I keep hearing...

[says Mr. Repress Strong Emotions With Apathy, but you know, he's trying]

[dreamsofahero]

*aaand at that he pauses at least to wipe his eyes on his sleeve is he being self-conscious, perhaps?*

I... I'm fine. You don't need to....

*it's not that he wants to cry, exactly, okay? it's just.... things. :/*

[tearsofademon]

...I know you're always going to say you're fine, but you don't have to, y'know? It's okay.

[which probably came out suuuuuper poorly but]

[dreamsofahero]

I--

*yeah, take a wild guess what he was gonna say before he caught himself*

... I don't want to be like this...

*he means being upset, feeling this way, of course.... though whether he expressed that well is a whole other question entirely*

[tearsofademon]

["like this" could mean a lot of things

It takes Ryner a moment to process the line. It could mean a lot of things. It could not mean a lot of things. It probably both means a lot of things and doesn't mean a lot of other things.

...Ryner is going to choose to pretend that you mean 'not fine', and not the other things that he's assuming you mean. Because sometimes, two wrong moves in a math problem end up at close enough to the correct answer anyway, and some of those other things he doesn't want to deal with, doesn't know how to deal with.]

...Would a distraction help, or something like that?

[dreamsofahero]

*well, while Ryner's busy processing, Sion's busy calming himself back down--or more precisely, carefully and meticulously putting all those feelings back away buried down where they belong. (It might, in fact, even seem somewhat familiar, like how he reacted to a certain corpse in that nightmare....) In any case though, he shakes his head at the question*

I don't know.

[tearsofademon]

[Johto needs a proper therapist. And to teach these boys what a therapist is.]

...Is there something that would help? Even just for a little while?

[dreamsofahero]

*yes, yes they do*

How should I know?

[tearsofademon]

[...ultimately the only answer he's got is]

...I don't know.

[dreamsofahero]

*and Sion's got no response to that, because really, what could he even say? He's miserable, he's been miserable for as long as he can remember.... is it really so surprising that he'd want it all to end?*

[tearsofademon]

[just because it's not surprising doesn't make it a thing Ryner can just accept like that

but he doesn't know what to do, doesn't know how to even not make things worse]

...dammit all.

[it's a quiet statement of frustration, but it is more forceful than his usual 'such a pain'...]

[dreamsofahero]

I told you it wasn't that simple.

*... don't be vindictive, Sion :/*

[tearsofademon]

...Yeah, I guess I get that much, now.

[Ryner figures he probably deserved that...

and yet he takes no movement toward leaving Sion's side, even as the grip he's got while still holding that notebook tightens a little

funny that]