Audio

[thedifferencebetween]

Hey there kids, Handsome Jack here!

And I've got a business proposition for all of you!

See, I'm a busy guy. I don't have the time to be going all over the world, hunting out specific Pokemon all the time. I'm the president of an intergalactic super corporation, I look after a whole planet. Sure, sure, I don't have access to'em right now, but that doesn't mean I'm just gonna forget about'em while I'm here! Not to mention that I have a job here, and stuff to take care of.

Like I said, I'm a busy guy.

So I will pay you for Pokemon. I'll cover you re: balls and all that stuff. Stipend for travel and everything, and a bonus for delivery of individual Pokemon.

I mean, that's what most of you do anyway, right? Why not make a little extra cash along the way, and help a guy out expanding his collection of badass animal buddies!

Trust me. I'll make it worth your while.

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[thatwasours]

Building an arsenal?

I'd like to say no one would fall for a proposition where they're handing you a weapon with no guarantee you won't turn straight around and use it against them, but...

[thedifferencebetween]

[Oh hey, it's one of the few people Jack categorizes as something of a friend! He flips on his own video feed for Kaz with a grin.]

The better animals you got, the better class of trainers you can challenge, the more money you make!

See, that's the thing. Not too many people here think of them as weapons. They treat'em like....like friends, like family, like pets. I called'em 'animal buddies' on purpose.

And okay, some of'em are pets, you've seen Doom Boner, I can't spin that thing as a fighter with a room full of PR managers. But I don't want pets. I want things that are gonna make me money. Sucks balls going from being a multi-trillionaire to having to by-monthly rent a friggin townhouse.

[thatwasours]

[Kaz brightens up a little, too. friends? friends are difficult. friends haven't gone well for Kaz. but Jack is interesting, and good company.]

Yeah, I imagine it's a real challenge.

[the most deadpan sarcasm. let the guy who grew up in a very rough part of postwar Yokosuka cry you a river.]

Not sure how they can see them as anything but. Sure, they're cute. And like animals, they can be affectionate. But at the end of the day? They're built to kill-- or knock each other out, I guess, since death doesn't work here.

You're sure if you make that investment, they'll listen to you? Might run into some trouble if you aren't the guy who trained the thing.

[thedifferencebetween]

It is. I worked damn hard for everything I had, clawed my way up from less than nothing. Now it's just...

[Jack sighs and waves his hand vaguely. Sure, he's heard that supposedly time was so distorted here that none passed on people's home planets, but he's not sure he trusts that.]

I dunno, half the people here are friggin' kids. Kids'll bring home a baby bullymong 'cause they think it looks cute and if they're just super nice to it, it'll be their friend. Then they get their face eaten. Kids are stupid.

I don't need'em trained, I'll train them myself. For that exact reason. I just need them caught.

[thatwasours]

[and suddenly, an expression of deep respect crosses Kaz's face. that's what he gets for assuming things, he supposes.]

Someday you're going to need to give me a handbook of all the things that live on your planet. And tell me how you ended up a multi-trillionaire CEO, so I can take notes.

What've you got so far? Besides-- [the useless puppy] --Doom Boner?

[thedifferencebetween]

A handbook of all the things that live on Pandora would make most people shit themselves in their sleep from the nightmares. I dunno, maybe they weren't all gross and evil before the Dahl corp started messing around with'em, but I always remember them being gross and evil.

As for the other...a whole lot of being in the right place at the right time with the right tools. And not letting anything stand in my way. I'll tell you all about it some time, it's a good story. Giant tentacle monsters, hot chicks, car chases on the moon...

[Those were the days.]

I've got a Meowth, he's actually got some decent levels, he's what I started with. There's this pile of garbage that follows me around, and this girl that works for me sent me a little goat thing that's gonna evolve into a big goat thing. Uh...it's a Skiddo.

My team's terrible!

[thatwasours]

Try me. I've already got nightmares, and there's no point being afraid of something that isn't even here. As for the story, I'll hold you to that.

My team's terrible, too-- I've just got the damn dog that hardly listens, and a sparrow that doesn't want to fight. Maybe it's worth catching more.

[thedifferencebetween]

Yeah, you seem like the kind of guy who could handle Pandora.

Okay, I'm not so jealous anymore, that's worse than mine. Holy crap. Yeah, you should catch more.

Hey, you wanna grab me some while you're at it, I'm a very generous tipper. I mean, I'm not filthy rich here, but I'm not doing badly for myself.

And I like ya!

[thatwasours]

[he considers that for a moment. he likes Jack. but will arming an ally bite him in the ass later?]

[no, he decides. Jack seems to be interested in money, not conquest. it's not likely he'll turn on him.]

All right. Got a type preference?

One condition, though. When I get to you, we'll battle.

[thedifferencebetween]

[Definitely more interested in money. The conquest part comes way later.]

Yeah, actually. You'll want to get one for yourself, too. Those stupid little orange fish you can find in the water all the way to Goldenrod. They're useless when you first get them, but they evolve into these giant thresher looking things.

But really, anything you come across that's gonna kick some ass. Or evolve into something that's gonna kick some ass. You know what I mean.

Battle? Sure. That's the whole point, right? And it'd be nice to go up against somebody...you know. Worth going up against.

[thatwasours]

My thoughts exactly.

Before I do this, we need to agree on rates, though.

[thedifferencebetween]

Yeah, yeah, of course. I'm a business man, I get it!

How about 250 for general catches, 300 for specific - on delivery - and I'll send you 500 for weekly expenses?

[thatwasours]

Does this include the balls, or not? Otherwise, that restricts me to two catches a week.

[thedifferencebetween]

Nah, I'll cover you for balls. That's just part of the base deal!

I take care of the people I'm asking to take care of me.

[thatwasours]

Good.

[and because he is incapable of not haggling--]

650 weekly expenses, and you have yourself a deal.

[audio]

[exeggutorhead]

[It may have been a very long time since Envy's been a flat broke hobo living off of pickpocketing and petty cons, but it left enough of an impression that the offer of reward will always get his attention. And on the road, there's Pokemon all over the damn place.]

What kind of Pokemon are you after? I mean, president of a whatever, you probably don't want fifteen Pidgey, right?

How much would you pay for people who happened to find rarer stuff?

[thedifferencebetween]

600.

C'mon, who else is offering weekly stipends for this little amount of work?

[audio]

[thedifferencebetween]

Tough looking stuff, mostly. Things I can't just get myself around Goldenrod. Oh, and things I can ride on.

I like riding things.

Depends on how rare we're talking!

[thatwasours]

625.

[he smirks. this, this is fun.]

But there's no one else offering in my location-- Pokemon are regional.

[thedifferencebetween]

Aw, you're killing me here, man!

[Jack's clearly loving every minute of it. He feels like his old self again!]

615. There's nobody offering anywhere, I pay attention to the net.

[thatwasours]

See, you shouldn't shoot yourself in the foot with comments like that.

Fine. There's no sense negotiating over anything smaller.

[thedifferencebetween]

What can I say, I'm an honest guy.

Deal!

And hey, you get to Goldenrod, I'll buy ya a drink. They've got some good bars!

[thatwasours]

Sounds good. It's been awhile since I've gotten to do anything like that.

[Audio]

[monge]

Eh...can't you just catch Pokemon while you wait for your planet to come back to you, zura?

[Also, how does space work?]

[audio]

[exeggutorhead]

Well, I've been here for about six years now, I know what's rare when I see it.

And I know all about what Pokemon don't get found in Goldenrod. So let's say I found you something tough, rideable, that's not found easily. How much would you pay for that?