Audio

[thedifferencebetween]

Hey there kids, Handsome Jack here!

And I've got a business proposition for all of you!

See, I'm a busy guy. I don't have the time to be going all over the world, hunting out specific Pokemon all the time. I'm the president of an intergalactic super corporation, I look after a whole planet. Sure, sure, I don't have access to'em right now, but that doesn't mean I'm just gonna forget about'em while I'm here! Not to mention that I have a job here, and stuff to take care of.

Like I said, I'm a busy guy.

So I will pay you for Pokemon. I'll cover you re: balls and all that stuff. Stipend for travel and everything, and a bonus for delivery of individual Pokemon.

I mean, that's what most of you do anyway, right? Why not make a little extra cash along the way, and help a guy out expanding his collection of badass animal buddies!

Trust me. I'll make it worth your while.

Comments

video, locked 30%

[thatwasours]

Building an arsenal?

I'd like to say no one would fall for a proposition where they're handing you a weapon with no guarantee you won't turn straight around and use it against them, but...

[thedifferencebetween]

[Oh hey, it's one of the few people Jack categorizes as something of a friend! He flips on his own video feed for Kaz with a grin.]

The better animals you got, the better class of trainers you can challenge, the more money you make!

See, that's the thing. Not too many people here think of them as weapons. They treat'em like....like friends, like family, like pets. I called'em 'animal buddies' on purpose.

And okay, some of'em are pets, you've seen Doom Boner, I can't spin that thing as a fighter with a room full of PR managers. But I don't want pets. I want things that are gonna make me money. Sucks balls going from being a multi-trillionaire to having to by-monthly rent a friggin townhouse.

[thatwasours]

[Kaz brightens up a little, too. friends? friends are difficult. friends haven't gone well for Kaz. but Jack is interesting, and good company.]

Yeah, I imagine it's a real challenge.

[the most deadpan sarcasm. let the guy who grew up in a very rough part of postwar Yokosuka cry you a river.]

Not sure how they can see them as anything but. Sure, they're cute. And like animals, they can be affectionate. But at the end of the day? They're built to kill-- or knock each other out, I guess, since death doesn't work here.

You're sure if you make that investment, they'll listen to you? Might run into some trouble if you aren't the guy who trained the thing.

[thedifferencebetween]

It is. I worked damn hard for everything I had, clawed my way up from less than nothing. Now it's just...

[Jack sighs and waves his hand vaguely. Sure, he's heard that supposedly time was so distorted here that none passed on people's home planets, but he's not sure he trusts that.]

I dunno, half the people here are friggin' kids. Kids'll bring home a baby bullymong 'cause they think it looks cute and if they're just super nice to it, it'll be their friend. Then they get their face eaten. Kids are stupid.

I don't need'em trained, I'll train them myself. For that exact reason. I just need them caught.

[audio]

[exeggutorhead]

[It may have been a very long time since Envy's been a flat broke hobo living off of pickpocketing and petty cons, but it left enough of an impression that the offer of reward will always get his attention. And on the road, there's Pokemon all over the damn place.]

What kind of Pokemon are you after? I mean, president of a whatever, you probably don't want fifteen Pidgey, right?

How much would you pay for people who happened to find rarer stuff?

[audio]

[thedifferencebetween]

Tough looking stuff, mostly. Things I can't just get myself around Goldenrod. Oh, and things I can ride on.

I like riding things.

Depends on how rare we're talking!

[audio]

[exeggutorhead]

Well, I've been here for about six years now, I know what's rare when I see it.

And I know all about what Pokemon don't get found in Goldenrod. So let's say I found you something tough, rideable, that's not found easily. How much would you pay for that?

[audio]

[thedifferencebetween]

A thousand.

On top of five hundred for any expenses incurred during the capture, and cost of the ball.

[Audio]

[monge]

Eh...can't you just catch Pokemon while you wait for your planet to come back to you, zura?

[Also, how does space work?]

[Audio]

[thedifferencebetween]

...No. No I can't.

I literally just said that. I've got things to do here. In Goldenrod. And I want Pokemon from not Goldenrod.

[Audio]

[monge]

I dunno if there's even a city called Notgoldenrod around here, zura.

[Audio]

[thedifferencebetween]

...oh god, I forgot you're 'special'.

No, I mean...Pokemon from other places.

Video

[coolskeleton_95]

NO! YOU HAVE TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH YOUR OWN POKEMON, NO SOMEONE ELSE'S!

Video

[thedifferencebetween]

[Today's feed shows a Skiddo practicing ramming a beanbag chair. Jack is nowhere to be seen, but is behind the'gear.]

They will be mine. I'm just getting someone else to pick them up and bring them to me. Like a pair of designer sneakers.

Listening comprehension, cupcake, give it a try.

Re: Video

[coolskeleton_95]

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, YOU DEFINITELY DON'T OWN FRIENDS AS IF THEY ARE POSSESSIONS! SECONDLY, YOU CAN'T PAY SOMEONE TO STUFF POOR POKEMONS INTO BALLS AND THEN EXPECT THEM TO BE YOUR FRIEND!

Video

[thedifferencebetween]

Last I checked, that's literally the definition of pets. Friends you own! And either I'm stuffing it into a ball, or someone I pay is doing it. It really doesn't make that much difference.

And it's not like I need your permission, why am I even arguing? Why don't you run along before you start pissing me off.

[Audio]

[mttbrandlegs]

[Hey now. This sounds like something Mettaton can do. He does like money, after all!]

I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement, darling. I'm not entirely sure where your interests lie, but if you're paying for results, I assure you that I can deliver!!

[Audio]

[thedifferencebetween]

My interests lie in badass Pokemon, it's pretty simple. You send me one, I give you money.

We're not dealing in rocket science here.

[Audio]

[mttbrandlegs]

I'm afraid we may not have similar interpretations of "badass," as you put it, but I'll give it a shot trying to catch you something useful!!

Not that traveling is tedious, but I could always use extra goals, it makes life interesting~

You needn't pay me if anything I present you with is unacceptable, of course. I'll just keep it~ More friends for me!!

[He's saying it to look good, because naturally if he's putting effort, he wants the sweet cash, but sometimes appearances take the forefront!]

audio;

[placide]

[ Rosa's sure there's some kind of lesson to be found in capturing your own Pokemon though she can't fault a man for his sense of business. At the same time though, wasn't it the least bit suspicious..?

Not to her, at the least. Handsome has been a gentleman towards her thus far and due to such, she's developed a positive opinion of him. ]

Why not seek out those who specialize in breeding Pokemon instead? [ From what she's gathered, baby Pokemon tend to grow up a lot stronger than anything found in the wild. ] The child inherits abilities from their parents after all.

audio;

[thedifferencebetween]

I'm not a looking after eggs kinda guy. One puppy's enough work already - I think you've seen my puppy, that thing eats like five times his body weight! Anyway, I want Pokemon I can start training. I know, I know, egg moves and all that, worth it, yadda yadda, I'll try eggs eventually.

But for now I wanna focus on wild Pokemon with the 'natural' abilities they'd have in their own environment. Do a little more research. Because I don't think these alien critters are natural.

[Not that it matters, he just wants to know all he can about these alien animals. They're everything on this planet. Wealth, power, status...it all comes down to Pokemon.]

audio;

[placide]

[ There's sense in his words, as usual. Rosa respects him and listens to them intently, considering everything she's learned since arriving here. ]

While it is common to find bird-like Pokemon everywhere, you intend to look beyond that? [ The rarer Pokemon that seem like they shouldn't belong somewhere yet do. ] When I used the PokeDex on Caine, it informed me that Dratini were long believed to be extinct since they were rare--yet they could be found plenty in watery depths.

Though I must ask how do you intend to research a Pokemon without seeing the area for yourself? [ Wouldn't it be difficult to know how their abilities correlated with their environment if he was removed from it? ] Have you studied this world at great length? I long to find literature about its history but...

[ There's really not much. At least there isn't in Celadon. ]

[Video]

[foolishwren]

If you need random kids to catch Pokemon for you, where are you getting the money from?

_{[EVERYONE KNOWS THE MOST RELIABLE WAY TO MAKE DOUGH QUICK IS POKEMON BATTLES.]}

Filing Rattatas with runny noses at the Pokemon Center doesn't pay that well.

[Video]

[thedifferencebetween]

[Heather is treated to a view of a skiddo practicing headbutting a beanbag chair while a fat, flop eared houndour watches.]

Uh, same place as everyone else? Battling, a job, leveled up Money Cats, creative dynamic personal economics...

I mean. You know. Making money here isn't exactly rocket science.

I've done rocket science!

Besides I don't need kids to catch Pokemon for me. But you're all running around catching Pokemon anyway, I've got a vacation to plan, people to look after, plenty to do here in Goldenrod...

Just offering some mutual benefits.

[Video]

[foolishwren]

_{[Prime time entertainment!]}

Fair enough, I guess.

Strikes me as lazy, but hey, you do you.

That said, those kids'd probably make more money keeping the Pokemon they catch and battling 'em than giving them to a weird old man, so you'd better hope none of them catch on.