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(no subject)

Who: Chloe and Anna

Where: an inn in goldenrod

When: backdated to the thunderstorm

Summary: Chloe does a nightmare

Rating: PG-13 for weird nightmares and language

Log:

[Everything is blurry for a moment, as if she's not fully awake until a boom of thunder like a cannon brings everything into perfect, soul crushing clarity.

The wind is howling like her swirling storm ins-

No, the wind is howling like a fucking tornado, there's no other way to describe it. Rain is hitting her skin like needles and it's like a shitty Spencer's strobe light with how much lightning is flashing.

A twig snaps somewhere to her left and she twists around to see a doe poking it's head out of the bushes. As it steps out, Chloe realizes it's not an ordinary doe. It's rotten and decayed, one of it's legs is bent at an unnatural angle and yet it manages to slip out of the bushes with no trouble.]

Chloe!

[Did it- did it just talk?

That's not the part that sends chills down her spine. It's the fact it spoke in Rachel's voice. Before she can even process that, it darts away and up a path headed for-

The lighthouse. Of course.]

Hey- wait!

[Chloe chases after it as the thunder rolls overhead ominously and the intensity of the wind picks up. It feels like it takes forever for her to reach the the lighthouse, but she does. It's just like how it was before she woke up in Pokemon universe. The tornado in the distance, Arcadia Bay about to get wrecked.

It takes her a moment to realize that there are two people standing by the edge of the cliff.]

Rachel? Max? [Together? She steps closer and realizes.. they're holding hands?]

Oh, it's Chloe. [It's Rachel's voice and there's disdain coating every word.] Finally acknowledging we exist? Can you believe this, Max?

I know, right? She can't just fuck off to fairytail land and then decide she wants to pop back in like it's no big deal. It's obvious she doesn't care about us anymore.

[Chloe can't even comprehend the levels of hurt and utter hypocrisy in that statement before Rachel is speaking again.]

Yeah, she has her princess now.

[Chloe opens her mouth to speak but she can only stumble over her words.]

Shut up Chloe! Whatever you have to say doesn't matter. You don't give a shit about us, so why should we give a shit about you? Besides... we don't need you. We have each other.

[The two of them turn and kiss each other and in that moment the entire world shakes and the lighthouse crumbles and crashes down on Rachel and Max.

NO!

[Chloe jolts up in bed screaming as thunder rattles the windows and lightning flashes outside.]

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[It's kind of amazing, in retrospect, that Elsa's been so relaxed about things. Like, for example, how much time Anna's been spending with Chloe. Not that Elsa has any room to talk, with how much she hangs out with Ford. But letting Anna actually stay in Chloe's room...that's surprising. And Anna's taking full advantage of that, snuggling right up to Chloe with only a passing fear that she might drool all over her during the night.

Anna sleeps like a log, so the thunderstorm doesn't bother her any. But even she couldn't sleep through that scream. She sucks in a startled gasp, lifting her head from the pillow, and for once she's wide awake, reaching over for Chloe's shoulder.]

Hey! Hey, are...are you okay?

[It takes Chloe a little too long to realize where she is. That she's not actually in that storm and that- that Anna is here with her. She reaches up quickly to wipe at her cheeks, trying to hide the fact she was crying. She sniffs, and clears her throat so that when she speaks, she sounds normal.]

Ye-yeah, I'm. I'm fine.

[Doesn't she sound super convincing?]

I just had a nightmare that... that Munchies sat on me, no biggie.

[Listen, it's just. A lot. She doesn't want to burden Anna with all of that. She doesn't want Anna to think she's pining after people from her past or something.

She doesn't want Anna to decide she's Too Much or Too Weird. And- honestly talking about it just isn't easy on it's own.]

Edited 2018-03-07 17:35 (UTC)

[Anna rubs the sleep out of her eyes, but she doesn't miss the glint of wetness on Chloe's cheeks and in her eyes before she wipes it away, and it only doubles her concern. She's never known Chloe to cry. She honestly wasn't even sure she knew how.

So she sits up properly, scooting up against the headboard, and moves to push Chloe's hair out of her face.]

Hey, you can tell me, if...if it was something else.

[Her expression is worried, but Anna gives Chloe a smile, still.] I'm here to listen, Chlo.

[At first Chloe flinches when Anna moves to brush her hair away, but after a moment she sort of leans into it. It's not that she doesn't think she can talk to Anna about this. On a deep level she nows that Anna wouldn't just be like 'bye'. But god, she doesn't even know where to begin.

Maybe she can start simple. It doesn't have to be Rachel and Max right from the start. She can ease into it.

Chloe takes a deep breath, trying to push through the anxiety that grips her at the idea of talking about it.]

It's- it's not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. I hope you know that.

[Anna is so. She's a princess. She has a temper and she's super wild sometimes, but fundamentally the two of them are just. Different. And she's really afraid that they're going to dig deep enough and Anna's going to discover she doesn't like what she sees. Maybe it's irrational, who knows. But.

That's Chloe for you.]

I mean. I'm supposed to be dead, for one. The universe reeeeally had it out for me. I- [she stops, trying to figure out how to even. Hmm.] I feel like I'm not making sense. Let's back up. So my- friend. [note the way she hesitates at that; it's relevant for later.] Max. Max used time travel to save my life and that royally fucked up the entire universe.

[Chloe stands up, feeling a lot of restless energy all of a sudden, especially as thunder rattles the windows again.]

I get it, by the way. If this is too much. You don't have to put up with it- with me. It's a lot of bullshit. [There she goes with the self sabotage bullshit again.]

It's okay. My whole life hasn't been rainbows and sunshine. [It might surprise Chloe to hear, but it's true. Anna's been lied to and manipulated, Anna's been dead, technically. She's lost her parents and spent most of her life by herself, isolated. She can handle whatever it is Chloe has to tell her.

Which, as it turns out, is a Lot. Anna's face morphs from concern to fear and back to concern in record time, watching Chloe stand up and get out of bed. Anna's only recourse is to follow, scrambling after her.]

What? No way! It's not...it's not putting up with anything. I'm your girlfriend, Chloe, I'm here for stuff like this.

[She says it's not putting up with anything, but all Chloe feels like it a big dumb burden with big dumb problems. Logically she knows that's stupid, that- that it was never like that when she was with Rachel. So she should know that if Anna's saying she cares, she. Does.

It takes a lot for Chloe to continue, to be able to trust enough to believe that it isn't going to push Anna away. But she- she's been with Anna long enough to know that she won't just. Abandon her. It's irrational. Now that some of the anxiety is fading from the dream, she's realizing that more clearly.]

Thank you... [Her voice is small, but she forces herself to keep going.] Before Max came back, before things got... super weird. Rachel and I were planning on leaving, on- on getting out of my shitty hometown. She was... everything to me.

[Chloe reaches up and wipes at her eyes again, because damn it she's crying and she hates it. She doesn't want to say it, but she's trying to imply that. Y'know. They were a thing.]

And then she disappeared, just like that. I- we... Max and I found out later she was murdered.

[She hesitates on the word 'murder', finding it. Really hard to say. She never... really had the chance to talk about this. To talk about. Any of it. Everything happened so fast back home, she never had the chance to really even process it.

It's hard to talk about it, but the more she is the less... heavy she feels. It still sucks and it still hurts, but it's like Munchies has been sitting on her chest and he's finally getting up.]

A-anyway, my nightmare, it... it was about them. Rachel and Max.

[It's painful, hearing Chloe's voice so small when she's usually so confident. Painful, too, to think Chloe has been struggling with all of this the whole time and Anna had no idea. It's hard to push down the thoughts of I should have known that want to resurface, but just like with Elsa, she reminds herself that it's not her fault. She can't read minds. The best she can do is be there for Chloe now that she knows.

She presses her lips together, tries to think of something wise and smart and soothing, but in the end everything feels trite. So all she says is,]

Chloe, I'm so sorry. [She rests her head on Chloe's shoulder, nuzzling gently. Just trying to offer as much comfort as she can.] That's awful.

[Honestly, talking about it is... helping. Ish. But having Anna there is helping, too. But at the same time, she- she feels... guilty too? Like she shouldn't be allowed to feel better? Even though that's an incredibly stupid thing to feel.]

It's.. [She's almost about to say 'it's whatever', but she realizes she's starting to want to confide in Anna. To open up and really, actually, talk about what's bothering her. She hasn't wanted to do that with anyone since Rachel.] The worst part isn't that, it's.. I feel bad, for- for being here? For wanting to move on, I guess, for wanting... to get over them.

[Anna's not going anywhere. Not for right now. She stays right where she is, cheek on Chloe's shoulder, listening while she talks.]

I get it. You might not think...it might not seem like I do, but. [She takes a shuddery breath.] After my parents died...it was really hard, for a long time, to feel like I was allowed to enjoy anything. It seemed like I should just be sad, because otherwise it was like I didn't...love them enough.

[She pulls back, fixes Chloe with a look that's uncharacteristically serious.]

But that's not true, that's just...guilt. You can move on without forgetting about them. That doesn't make your feelings for them any less real.

[It's rare for Chloe to feel like anyone gets her, really understands all the bullshit she feels on a day to day basis. But Anna's words show Chloe that she does, even if just a little. And that's all she needs. It sucks when people pretend. She knows Anna isn't.]

How do you move on? [Because Chloe... hasn't. Not from her father, not from Rachel and not from Max. Chloe isn't good at moving on. Chloe's strength is dwelling on things until they tear her apart.]

[Anna sucks in a breath, because she knows right away that there's no good answer to that. She tucks her chin into Chloe's shoulder, presses a soft kiss to the side of her neck, and then pulls away to look her in the eye.]

Honestly? There's no right way to do it. You just have to...keep living your life, you know? And...and do what you can to honor their memory.

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