004 | Text, Goldenrod City

[ghoststanning]

[Hello everyone, around early afternoon today, you will get a completely normal looking series of text.]

HI THIS IS THE REAL RAY STANTZ AND I AM REALLY MESSAGING EVERYONE

I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT MY NEW POKEMON DOPPELGANGER, A REALLY AMAZING DITTO, IS GREAT AND DESERVES MORE TREATS THAN I AM GIVING THEM

I SHOULD GIVE THEM A WHOLE CAKE

[A pause.]

AND IF YOU DO NOT THINK I AM THE REAL RAY STANTZ, HERE IS AN ACTUAL PHOTO OF ME

[After a few minutes there... sure is a pic sent of what appears to be Ray, except he looks a little off. His smile is just a bit too blank and he looks a tiny bit too stiff. It's a little unnerving, to be honest.]

THERE I AM

PROOF THAT I AM RAY STANTZ

[Another few minutes pass, then-]

HOW DO YOU MAKE LETTERS SMALL

Comments

[Video]

[maybeitsmabelline]

[Mabel is giggling like crazy when she appears on the feed, perched on a bench near an ice cream stand with Bacchus the Shuckle on one side of her and Waddles the Emboar on the other.]

You have to hit the capslock button Mr. Ray Stantz!

[Text]

[ghoststanning]

["Ray" is deliberately sticking to text for normal human reasons.]

oh

thank you my friend

[A moment passes.]

Where are you by the way? Is that ice cream?

[Video]

[maybeitsmabelline]

[Oh yes, normal human reasons. Of course!]

No problem!

We're in Goldenrod City! [Mabel grins and holds up her small bowl of ice cream.] Yep! It's really really yummy!

[Beside her, Waddles nods, snout covered in berry flavored ice cream.]

[ghoststanning]

[If they had the sense to do it, there would definitely be multiple "!!!s" in the next text.]

I LIVE IN GOLDENROD

I'll be your best friend if you get me ice cream right now!

[maybeitsmabelline]

Okay! Where do you live? We can bring you some!!

[Text]

[tearsofademon]

[Ah, the Ditto doppelganger. Ryner knows the concept well, though his own at least usually only wants to dance.

...He can play along for now, though, he guesses.]

You'll want to be careful, having a Ditto around. They're really clever when they want to be.

Re: [Text]

[ghoststanning]

You're wrong!

Dittos are very clever and great but I shouldn't be careful

I wouldn't want to control Doppelganger for being so good after all

[Text]

[tearsofademon]

Oh, sure, freedom is great and all. But if you aren't careful, who knows what sorts of misunderstandings could happen. One of you could even get into trouble for something the other one did, and not even know it.

[Text]

[ghoststanning]

I won't mind I love trouble!

I fight trouble daily it is the best

[Text]

[tearsofademon]

Really? I've always found trouble to be a pain to deal with, myself.

[text]

[pkemeter]

[...Hm. Egon is in the middle of testing Kölliker's mental capabilities when this shows up on the feed.

He could just text Ray, but he's not guaranteed to pick up when he's at work. Better handle this himself.]

Ray Stantz, I presume?

Do you mind disclosing your current location to me? I would like to deliver you some cake I have forgotten in the refrigerator.

[text]

[ghoststanning]

[Oh

Hm

"Ray" was currently hiding in the bathroom, and the other one was working at the Pokemon Center.

As much as they wanted the cake, they knew that answering with "the bathroom" would give them away instantly.]

Leave in the fridge

I can have it later

[Read: he's gonna stealthily ooze his way into the fridge to hopefully eat it.]

[text]

[pkemeter]

[Hmm. A plan is taking form in Egon's mind.]

Alright, if you're sure about it.

I'll be heading out soon to buy more food.

[Meanwhile, he's going to be making his way to the kitchen and hiding under the table with a PokéBall to try and jump this lad. Because he can and also he wants to see this Ditto doing natural behavior.]

Text > Action

[ghoststanning]

Take your time



[A few minutes later, Egon will see what appears to be Venkman slipping into the kitchen. He moves stiffly and has a blank smile on his face, but he looks pretty unsure. Maybe they're not expecting a full on attack, but they don't wanna get caught, so they look around as they heads towards the fridge, somehow missing Egon as he opens the door.]

Text

[starry_forehead]

[Shapeshifter....why does this place have shapeshifters.]

Yeah, you should totally give them a whole cake. And so you can prove that you actually understand how great a pokemon you have, you should get a picture of you giving your ditto that cake.

Just so everyone knows what a great pokemon it is. I mean we totally all want to see both of you.

In the same place.

Also it's the capslock key.

Text

[ghoststanning]

[Oooh this is going to take some thinking. After a couple of minutes, Dipper gets a series of responses.]

Thank you

Sorry I can't

Because I am at work

It's bad to have fun at work

Text

[starry_forehead]

[Totally believable! Isn't it a great thing, that Dipper is in no way related to a professional con man and not at all good friends with a professional slacker. Now he can totally help his friend....if those things were true.]

It's bad to have fun at work? What? That's totally lame. Your boss just wants you to think that so you overwork yourself.

You should take a break. What sort of place do you work at?

Text

[ghoststanning]

It is

My boss is mean

[Luckily they know this! ... Mostly because Ray only works at one sort of job so far and he does talk about it at home a lot, but "Ray" can work with this.]

The pokemon center!

text;

[notvaljean]

[Oh ho ho ho, what is this? This is most definitely a trainer and NOT another Pokemon, one hundred percent verified FACT, and Zappy the Rotom will be here with only the most helpful of advice.]

Y NOT USE ALL BIG LETTERS
BIG LETTERS 4 THE WIIIIIIIIIIN

text;

[ghoststanning]

[Hello fellow human!]

BIG LETTERS ARE GREAT

But I am a human person and human people don't talk in all caps

They type like people

text;

[notvaljean]

[Greetingsfellowkids.gif]

sometimes human people type with all caps

FOR EMPHASIS

like that

[sociallychallenged]

If your pokegear has a keypad like mine, it's probably an arrow key off to the left-hand side on the bottom. It's what makes the letters upper and lowercase.

I used to fuck that up all the time.

[Learning how to use his phone back in the real world was a feat for Hank.]

You also might want to watch out for autocorrect. Smart devices sometimes try a little too hard to think for you.

[ghoststanning]

Oh there we go!

And don't worry, I am very good with these things

Absolutely perfect because I am a genius

[sociallychallenged]

Even the most brilliant of men can have their chimichanga changed to chicken shit by an overeager messenger app, I promise you this.

[The pain is real.]

[ghoststanning]

What's a chimichanga

And it's alright, I'm the smartest person in the world

I can handle it