003 / video

[neverstudied]

Soooooo.

[The feed starts a little abruptly, focused on an Elgyem cradled in the crook of someone's arm. The Elgyem in question makes hopeful grabby-hands towards the Pokegear, her handlights blinking.]

Got this little girl recently- from a guy called Ford Pines. She's kind of like, the closest I've come to actually trying to take care of a human baby. You know, Ray likes to call all the Pokemon we get our "children", but this one's the first that's really.. humanoid, I guess? Dunno.

But that's not- that's not what I wanna talk about.

[The Pokegear's camera zooms out a little bit to show a bit more of the whole picture- the Elgyem is cradled to Venkman's chest, and he's currently sprawled out on a couch looking exhausted.]

No, what I wanna talk about is- so, Spengs has a little psychic baby of his own, Kölliker- a Solosis. She's been learning how to speak mentally, right now she's pretty firmly in the "swear all the time" stage of development and I can already see the "terrible twos" comin' up even though she's only, what, 2 months old? And that's a liiiittle terrifying, because, uh, she can kind of read minds? And just peek into our brains and emotions, and that's the kind of power you don't want a toddler to have.

[He shifts his arm a little and looks down at the Elgyem, who's stopped grabbing for the Pokegear and instead has her little nub hands clasped together. She stares up at Venkman unblinkingly.]

And this girl- Sigourney- she's only a little over a week old, but on the day she was born she figured out how to go through our memories, and just like Kölliker she can like- read our thoughts, and emotions, and kind of manipulate them? She was able to send memories from my brain and transplant them in Egon's head, like a mental text message. It's- it's weird.

[As Venkman speaks, he idly rocks Sigourney in his arm.]

And the other day- uh, so, background, I did do a little research on this species and it's evolution after she started doing the whole "reading my thoughts" thing, and the evolution- Beheeyem- is able to just. Completely rewrite people's memories. Sometimes without them even realizing it. And I thought, ok, that's completely fucking terrifying, sure, but she won't be able to do that for a while, right?

[Venkman sucks air through his teeth and shakes his head. Sigourney, meanwhile, snuggles closer to his chest. It looks like she's falling asleep, though her eyes never close.]

Nah. Nope. Nada.

... She hasn't tampered with anything important, and I don't think she really knows what she's doing. But I was writing notes the other day about her dredging up certain old memories, and now when I try to think of what they were, there's just... Holes? [His brow furrows.] Also, I don't remember anything about fifth grade anymore. Like, I literally... don't remember being ten years old, except for summer break. I dunno what it was about fifth grade that she decided to just chuck out the window, but that's just gone now. And today she was poking around a lot at some memories I really don't wanna lose...

So here's what I'm asking.

[Sigourney is definitely asleep by now. He lowers his voice to just barely above a whisper.]

First of all, is this, like, an isolated thing? Is this sorta stuff normal for Psychic Pokemon when they're babies- just being, incredibly powerful and not really sure of how to use that power-, or are Egon, Ray, and I just really, really unlucky? Because I'll be honest, wouldn't be surprised if it's the second one. Could be some sorta, I dunno, residual effect from our dimension.

And second of all- anyone know how to train psychic toddlers to not be mentally destructive and do shit like this? Both for Sig, and for Ko when she hits that tantrum stage. I'm open to suggestions, here. Any suggestions at all. Seriously.

Comments

[pkemeter]

I have an hour left in my shift but I could always call out early.

I'm going to call out early. I will see you in five minutes.

[And...as expected, Egon shows up at the hotel room with extreme punctuality, though he looks somewhat frazzled. He's still wearing his work uniform and a stethoscope is still dangling from his neck. He's fiddling with his hands when Venkman answers the door, despite the fact that he could just very easily open the door himself.]

Hello. Is Sigourney out of her containment unit? I would recommend Kölliker and Sigourney not be in the same room while-- [A pause.] Well, you'll see.

[neverstudied]

[Venkman was just about to tell him to wait out the shift but, nope. He feels somewhat guilty for it, but at the same time: Egon willingly leaving a job where he gets to examine weird monsters? Yeah, he's freaking out too.

Venkman glances behind him as he answers the door- he left Sigourney on the couch, where she's still asleep.]

Yeah, hold on a sec-

[He digs through his pockets and pulls out her Pokeball, retrieving her with a click of the button.]

So where's Ko?

[pkemeter]

[Egon's eyebrows furrow as he pushes past Venkman into the living room. He digs through his pockets for the Pokéball in question and tosses it onto the ground. An arc of light appears and Kölliker soon follows, except...she's bigger. And no longer has that little organelle dangling off her head.

She blinks and looks at Venkman, and two echoing voices collide over each other, followed by a contradictory feeling of enthusiasm and apathy.]

Hi dad!

Kölliker — [Egon gestures for the baby to look at him, then looks at Venkman.] Ask her a question. Go on. Any question.

[neverstudied]

[Venkman blinks.]

Oh.

[His brow furrows, and he gives Egon a worried look.]

Uhhh- how are you- how are you feeling?

[pkemeter]

[Kölliker blinks.]

Fine, how are you?

[Says an enthusiastic, almost childish voice with a tone of warmth. Almost immediately overlapped by another sharper voice, which can only be described as literally sharp mentally.]

You're just asking that to be nice.

[Egon pinches the bridge of his nose, then casts a pained look towards Venkman. Before he can even say anything--]

You think I'm bad! [Accusatory, triumphant.]

Sorry! I'm sorry! [Panicked, terrified.]

I didn't say anything-- [He lets out a harsh sigh.]

[neverstudied]

... Spengs, do you ever get the feeling that our lives aren't normal? Because I do.

[He holds his hands up appealingly. His voice softens as he tries to convince these opposing baby brains to calm down.]

I'm fine. Neither of you are bad or- doing anything wrong, ok? Just wanted to check on you, 'cause we love you. Ok?

[And, as an aside to Egon:]

She wasn't speaking full sentences when you guys left, right?

[pkemeter]

[Delivered in his trademark monotone:]

Define "normal."

[Kölliker seems to calm down slightly at that--relief as well as disgruntlement wash over both Egon and Venkman. Egon shakes his head.]

No, I believe it was both the evolution and the fact she now has two brains that allowed her to start structuring more complex thoughts and ideas.

Yaaaay!

Ugh.

[neverstudied]

Yeah, well, I'm very proud of you. That's a pretty big feat to just- completely conquer linguistics in like, a day. [He's still using the appeasing tone, but he does mean what he's saying.]

So... Can you tell us why you're so at odds with- yourself?

[pkemeter]

[There's a brief pause as Kölliker appears to think this over, tapping her nubby arms against her face. Despite the fact she says nothing, Venkman and Egon will get the distinct feeling of some sort of wordless argument going through her minds.

Eventually--]

I wanna help dad!

That's stupid! I wanna do other stuff!

[And they lapse right back into arguing. Egon rubs his temples.]

They'll go on like that for hours. I've identified the desires of each brain, but...the difficult part is making them cooperate on anything.

[neverstudied]

Jeez.

[He falls back on the sofa and puts a hand over his forehead, sighing.]

D'ya think this is gonna be a phase, or is this something we're gonna have to handle for the rest of our lives here?

[pkemeter]

I'm sure everything will be fine once she evolves again or learns how to manage both brains without much conflict. Though I have very little idea how to get to that stage.

[He grimaces, then pulls out the Pokéball to return Kölliker. This discussion might go more smoothly if there isn't a psychic baby poking and prodding at his thoughts.]

What about Sigourney? I take it you haven't gone much further regarding her situation.

[neverstudied]

Forgive me if that doesn't inspire much confidence, Egon.

[Venkman moves over to make room for Egon on the couch while he retrieves Ko.]

Not really. Ford Pines suggested getting her mother to talk with her over the Pokegear... Jack said that we could get Ko to really step into the "big sister" role and convince her to be a positive influence, but that idea's dead in the water now that Ko's like this. Couple people brought up using a Dark-type Pokemon to, I dunno, cause interference?

Two people suggested tinfoil hats.

[pkemeter]

Really? I'm surprised — they actually just amplify signals.

[Egon sits down next to Venkman on the couch, propping his leg up on his knee. He leans back, tapping his fingers together as he thinks.]

And I do not have any Dark-type Pokémon under my care. Perhaps we should go with the option to allow Sigourney's mother to communicate with her. [He sighs.] We could also just contain her when she's not in battle, but that does not seem ideal.

[neverstudied]

That's what I told them!

[He throws his arms up in exasperation. Once Egon settles down, Venkman scoots closer and wraps his arms around him. Say goodbye to your personal space, Egon.]

Tarantula's my only Dark type, so far, but I dunno how much she can help. She kinda follows whatever Ko wants to do.

Containing her won't fix the problem- it'll just mean she'll grow stronger and stronger in battle and still won't know to stop probing through minds.

[pkemeter]

[He's fine with this! Though he does keep tapping his fingers together in thought. His eyebrows furrowing, he instinctively leans into Venkman's touch.]

That's right — she sees her as her older "sister". And she's only a few weeks old, so it might be even more difficult to convince her to take on something like this.

...If I'm being entirely honest, I feel as though this is completely outside of my realm of knowledge. Dealing with interpersonal relationships is...not my strong suit.

[He seems reluctant to admit this, but literally anyone who's talked to Egon for more than five minutes would know this.]

[neverstudied]

They're all babies. Why do we keep getting babies? We need older Pokemon, maybe. Luca's, like, the closest thing to a responsible older Pokemon out of our entire collection of 'em.

... Yeah, I know. [Venkman's tone isn't teasing, at least.] Guess what? "Dealing with interpersonal relationships" is my thing and I still don't know what I'm doing here.

[pkemeter]

...There's Denver, but I doubt he would ever take on that responsibility. He's always too busy grooming himself or scorning us.

[He runs a hand through his hair, and says without an ounce of humor:]

That's because they aren't people.

[No shit, Egon.]

[neverstudied]

Denver's also a baby, he just acts like he hatched out as a sixty year old socialite too rich and important to associate with the likes of us.

... Wow. How long did it take ya to figure that one out, Spengs?

[He rolls his eyes a little as he says it, but he curls closer to Egon.]

Nah, they're not people. But just about all of 'em have higher levels of sentience than most normal animals in our dimensions- if not human-level intelligence. So they can be reasoned with. Hopefully. Eventually.

[pkemeter]

[Egon stops tapping his fingers together, choosing to place a hand on Venkman's shoulder instead. He seems to relax a little as he does so.]

Eventually. [He echoes, staring at the wall. After a moment or two, he glances towards Venkman.]

We could always try electrotherapy —

[neverstudied]

[Cutting him off mid-sentence:]

If you even think about electrocuting the baby Pokemon, I'm getting off this couch.