Shadowmaru { BP-501 } (
sassymaru) wrote in
victory_road2019-06-14 10:55 pm
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video;
It would seem this world delights in embarrassing me!
[With this announcement, Shadowmaru turns the camera on. He's standing in the kitchen of his little cottage in Olivine, looking completely put out. Why is this?]
[Because there's a bug on his head. Not just any bug. But a shiny Venipede. Who waves its antennae menacingly at the camera, squinting. The little bug may not have hands, or a super expressive face, but this is as close to a COME AT ME BRO as a bug can get.]
Is there a reason I am besieged with unflattering animals at every turn? First the plethora of water types, and now this.
What even is this?
[Behind him, his Frogadier gives the most long-suffering sigh. Looking at the screen in a mute plea. Someone please tell Shadowmaru to use his 'gear. Kero has tried.]
[With this announcement, Shadowmaru turns the camera on. He's standing in the kitchen of his little cottage in Olivine, looking completely put out. Why is this?]
[Because there's a bug on his head. Not just any bug. But a shiny Venipede. Who waves its antennae menacingly at the camera, squinting. The little bug may not have hands, or a super expressive face, but this is as close to a COME AT ME BRO as a bug can get.]
Is there a reason I am besieged with unflattering animals at every turn? First the plethora of water types, and now this.
What even is this?
[Behind him, his Frogadier gives the most long-suffering sigh. Looking at the screen in a mute plea. Someone please tell Shadowmaru to use his 'gear. Kero has tried.]
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[He may have been... taking things very literally.]
Thank you. I will be here.
[Contrary to his statements, he's actually fine with things. The bug isn't that big of a deal, now that he knows it sparkles.]
Action
[In a surprisingly timely fashion Hank shows up with a six pack cardboard box, but four are beers and two are wine coolers (he's loosely assuming, likely incorrectly, that Shadowmaru is a lightweight).]
[At least the other man's newfound fondness for his uninvited guest might save them from hiding their eyes from a loud flash of dazzling gleam. But it still means that Hank came with a little blue flower poking out of his pocket, Connie secreted away as usual.]
[He knocks when he gets there, taking stock of the place as he approaches.]
Action
[She clearly s not concerned about him.]
[And... Shadowmaru answers, the door opening in a swirl of sparkles -- care of the Venipede perched on his head still.]
Greetings! Welcome. Do make yourself at home.
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[Hank is taken aback by the sparkles, thick brow climbing.]
Alright. Didn't know they could do that.
[He steps inside, having a look around before he sits. This is only the second time he's visited someone else's home since coming here. He looks around, scanning loosely for stuff Shadowmaru seems to especially like]
You don't look too upset with your headgear anymore.
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That was before I was informed it glitters.
[He bows a bit, and motions the older man inside. Definitely small, modest. But it's very clean. Shadowmaru's Yamask is hovering at the stove, minding a kettle. Everything smells of salt and ocean air.]
[Which is weird, considering how up in arms Shadowmaru had been over water pokemon.]
If I had known what it was capable of, I would have been less irate.
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[Luckily Hank is used to Yamasks after the wailing one he had pretty early on. In its evolved form he still carries the Snorlax plush he'd gotten to calm him down. He can't even find them remotely creepy after all that.]
[The ocean thing is strange, considering all of his aversions, but he decides to not ask that at the moment.]
Well, if you decide you want the extra help getting it off. [He pulls out the Floette, letting her hover with her flower over the palm of his hand.] This is Connie, and she can help. Looks like it might eventually get bored and come down on its own, though.
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[He's definitely... something, huh? And he is also sweeping into the little house himself, settling primly down at the tiny table. Perching in it, rather.]
Ah... what a pleasure. [He extends a hand to the Floette, in greeting. The bug, however, hunkers down on his head even more, somehow managing to radiate angry sparkles.] I cannot thank you enough for rushing to my aid, regardless of the outcome.
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[He gets a happy 'Flo!' of greeting.]
Don't mention it. Hey, I brought you somethin'. Finally, cause I owed you. [He holds out the bottle of chilled, brightly colored wine cooler.]
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Boyfriend? [Asked with the sort of tone a much younger individual than Shadowmaru appears to be may have. Pure curiosity.]
[But his attention is quickly drawn back to the little flower pokemon. He offers her a fingertip, in lieu of a handshake.] Hm? Did you?
[He breaks into a grin, however, when he identifies the bottle. Something a little roguish.] Ah -- so you did. My deepest thanks for the potential debauchery.
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[He sounds a little shy about it. Mostly in the way he also gestures his way through it and doesn't swear. He bumbles on occasion over things like that.]
Don't worry those aren't too bad.
[Connie shakes the finger with a happy little 'Flo!', blinking her eyes with big fluttery eyelashes.]
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Had I known in advance, I would have prepared better.
[But, contrary to his statement, his Yamask drifts over, and plunks down a plate of ... bagels? Where the heck did it get those. No matter. It's trying.]
-- it seems we have a helping hand!
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[He shrugs. It's still a jumble in his mind. He's pretty sure it won't be happening back home. That he's going to go do his thing, and Connor will do Connor's.]
[He picks up one of the bagels in confusion, effectively distracted from the thought.]
If he ever evolves you'll have four helping hands.
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[He'll be happy for this man whether he likes it or not. So there.]
Oh? You've experienced it, then?
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[It's been... a while. Hell, Hank isn't exactly the type of guy that gets around.]
Yeah, ours [He says 'ours' but it's Connor's] still carries around its toys we gave it when it was a Yamask. Its favorite is a plush Snorlax.
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Hooked... up?
[Well, that's not a familiar phrase. Whoops.]
How charming. I will certainly look forward to that day, should it ever come.
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It means to meet, pretty much. In this case, romantically. I met my wife when I was forty. Ended up not going well. Sometimes you sign on for forever, and forever doesn't happen. [He raises his beer.] And thank fucking god for that.
[Because some losses are for everyone's own best interest.]
I'm sure it will. All it takes is some outdoor time. Let it fight on its own here and there if it wants to. And you'll have a stylish Egyptian coffin in your house.
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[A wave of his hand, in a sort of apologetic, conceding gesture. A wave that turns into him selecting a bottle of his own, curiously.]
Mm. I admit, I am not the best in such an arena. I have yet to participate in any such fights.
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[He holds it thoughtfully.]
Actually, I'm kind of glad you're a pretty chill guy. No need to pressure yourself.
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[He's not offended or anything, just curious. It's probably the first time anyone has told him he's "chill" in any capacity.]
[Since he's usually the opposite of chill.]
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[Though Hank can be high-grade not chill. He's been alright here. Friendly to those friendly to him. Though he knows the superfluous assholes he verbally rips for people when he's in a mood can hold pickle jars.]
You're a good guy. I wouldn't wanna change that just so you can make your Pokemon tougher. No point to it.
[Let the guy enjoy peace.]
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[He does look a bit flustered. And not just because of the shiny bug on his head. Shadowmaru is not one easily flattered when it comes to his own... well. Anything. Except for being called a dog.]
Perhaps it comes from lack of experience. Human beings may have built me, programmed me, but, ultimately... it was my fellow AI I found myself closest to.
[Forgive me, Kagerou, if I live my life some more...]
I am familiar with humans of course. But an AI can hardly enjoy your food or even something as simple as hot showers.
It becomes easy to take pleasure in these things.
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So I get that you don't get headaches. What do we miss out on?
Like uh... with the whole plastic and metal. Anything you like about it? I mean, I might not get it, but I'd like to hear about it.
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[A flicker of -- something. It's a pretty common expression on him, something real smoothed back over.] Some of us do. Processing errors and the like.
Ah... now that. I have an answer for. [His shoulders square up, and he just beams.] Flight. In both forms. I adored flight.
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[He wonders if the same thing happened here.]
Me, I just wanna run my little rescue operation. I still need to help people out. [He's aimless if he doesn't.]
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[Would the same have been said for the other BP units? For... Kagerou, perhaps?]
[He shakes it off, quickly, perching his chin in his hands.]
Oh? Locating lost pokemon, was it?
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