Lady Tina of Blowupyourfaceheim AKA Tiny Tina (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bittybunkermaster) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
victory_road2019-07-07 06:42 pm
bittybunkermaster) wrote in victory_road2019-07-07 06:42 pm
[1st Boom] [Video]
[For those who have visited the Cherrygrove Spa these mud baths probably are familiar. Whoever turned on the camera moves too quickly to see and dives into the mud pool vanishing from sight completely.
Ten seconds.
Twenty.
Whoever's in there must be able to hold their breath for a long while because a Buneary with an Egg comes walking over sniffing and calling out for their trainer who is supposed to be here where did she go?
Then suddenly exploding from the mud the trainer screeches scaring the Buneary so badly they throw the egg up in fright and scramble away crashing into the table the camera was set up on knocking it to the ground. The egg splats into the mud safely and starts to sink while the mud covered teen cackles wickedly.]
Ya gotta step up your GAME snugglebuns if you wanna be a champ! A little jump scare should be NOTHING! Wait where'd you go?
[Looking around she shrugs and reaches out of the mud to set the camera back upright before holding aloft a muddy egg.]
Hola amigos, mi nombre es Tiny Tina! And I just got this egg so like...how do I make a baby come out of it faster?
Like I don't wanna cook it and Snugglebuns seems to think cracking it open early is a bad idea sooooo what do?
Ten seconds.
Twenty.
Whoever's in there must be able to hold their breath for a long while because a Buneary with an Egg comes walking over sniffing and calling out for their trainer who is supposed to be here where did she go?
Then suddenly exploding from the mud the trainer screeches scaring the Buneary so badly they throw the egg up in fright and scramble away crashing into the table the camera was set up on knocking it to the ground. The egg splats into the mud safely and starts to sink while the mud covered teen cackles wickedly.]
Ya gotta step up your GAME snugglebuns if you wanna be a champ! A little jump scare should be NOTHING! Wait where'd you go?
[Looking around she shrugs and reaches out of the mud to set the camera back upright before holding aloft a muddy egg.]
Hola amigos, mi nombre es Tiny Tina! And I just got this egg so like...how do I make a baby come out of it faster?
Like I don't wanna cook it and Snugglebuns seems to think cracking it open early is a bad idea sooooo what do?
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How many have you hatched?
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[Somewhere in the background Buneary makes a scared squeak]
I mean it's mostly because Pandora is the most crazy deadly murderplanet EVA but this place seems a lot nicer and more colorful and like...did you know there's grass that feels really good to walk on barefoot and not just stabby pokey grass with stickers in it?
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[There's a raise of an eyebrow in Tina's direction.]
Yes, there's a lot of that grass here.
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...except salad. Salads are crunk! Actually I could go for a salad right about now. Topped with chocolate chip cookies!
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I suppose not everyone can be expected to have a sense of style though.
[She calling you out for being uncool Tina.]
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Anyway whatchoo talkin' bought style? I'll have you know my mask was the tip top of fashion back home. Everybody who was anybody worth killing had one on.
Why? When did green come into fashion? Was it after we blew them up?
[video]
Oh, you destroyed greenery, good job, you're just as mediocre and predictable as everyone else.
spoilers for Borderlands 2 DLC
[She's putting on a fancy voice now.]
Lady Tina of Blowupyourfacehime has endured trail and tribulation time and time again. Her brave army of Vault Hunters and assorted non-Vault Hunters rose up to the challenge though!
Our home under attack by half man half plant butt faces spewing their gross deadly fart gas all over the city! And they wanted to spread it across the whole flippin' world!!!!
But NO! The time for sorrow and smell is not now! It was us or him and we chose us! So through sacrifice and explosions MOST amazing we blasted into the depths of a haunted, cursed cave of doom and mines of horror where the armies of a Capitalist army had lost their minds and hearts and souls and junk!
Fighting life and limb, saving my Mordi Mama, the Vault Hunters did everything they could to save the planet but in the end it all came down to big Mama Lady Lilith and her big boom Siren SMACKDOOOOOWN blowing up our home and everything we had fought to protect just to save the rest of the world. The Ultimate sacrifice...BECAUSE I WANTED TO BLOW IT UP INSTEAD!
Anyway we were gonna head off to space next but now I'm here and Imma have to blow up something REALLY impressive to make up for all this smack talk.
So who's Mediocre now lady?!