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Good evening.

I have been told that my husband is somewhere here. Unfortunately, the help I was given did not add where he could be. He is very tall, and has dark hair. His are very kind, and though he does his best to be a gentleman, he is also a bit reckless. (It is very endearing, I assure you.) He is also a bit accident-prone in my experience which is less out of clumsy-bearing and more from previous mention of recklessness.

If one would be so very kind as to direct me to his whereabouts, I would be very grateful.

With warmest regards,

Mrs. E. Joestar

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[And yet, and yet she knows where her partner is. Do you, Erina?]

All it tells people is the timeline is stupid and in reality you'd be old as sin and ten feet underground already decomposed. But details, I guess.

[Rude. She will shortly. Perhaps.]

It is six feet, and I would prefer not to think of death when I've been married less than a week, thank you.

[Maybe. Perhaps.]

Since when do they use feet in England? What. Also ten feet for good measure, prevents animals from digging shit up. Also zombies take longer to get out of the ground.

Wait. Wait hold the fuck up.

What was the last thing that happened before you got here? Because holy shit I think there's going to be some absolute hilarity in store. For me, not you.

Since 1824? It is the British Imperial System, is it not?

And stop using that language, I'm sure you can manage one exchange without vulgarity.

Regardless, it was February 3rd, I've been married for a day. Though I suppose I've been married four days now. We were to be going to America for our honeymoon and I was quite excited about that.

Why?

Edited 2020-05-06 22:55 (UTC)

Preeeeeetty sure they switched over to a different system a long time ago, but I guess it was after your time. idk.

Hard pass, not happening.

Oh god, you don't know, then.

Glad you get to miss out on the ocean trauma unlike the rest of us, but I'll let him tell you what the hell happened. Enjoy. That. I guess. Also America sucks, why the fuck would you want to come here.

Edited 2020-05-06 22:59 (UTC)

[The length of space between this reply and Jolyne's is palpable as Erina tries to figure out what she means. Defeated by this, she finally responds]

I admit that I am especially confused at your cloak and daggerisms, Jolyne. But very well, I'll wait to speak to him about that.

Also, America is in a great advancement at the present moment, I have already seen India.

[Ah, colonialism.]

It's not my place to tell his story, is it?

...

Oh my god, right, that whole colonies bullshit. Good fucking god.

Lemme tell you, at least in my time, America sucks a lot. Florida was kind of cool. I guess. Maybe. There's beaches or some shit so, you know.

No, I suppose you're right. I will be patient, then.

We were going to go to New York City, and he wanted to see the American Museum of Natural History. I wanted to see the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It was going to be great fun for the both of us.

[Yes, they are That Couple, Jolyne.]

[G r o s s. And also absolute fucking nerds.]

Damn, they've been around for longer than I thought...

Also I see you two are that kind of couple, that's kind of gross but not exactly unexpected. So, real talk, how did the family become a bunch of damn gremlins.

[Yeah, what's up. If it wasn't for them being lovey af, then you would not exist, Jolyne.]

Well, no. The American Museum of Natural History is only about twenty years old now, and the Metropolitan is around the same. It isn't very long at all.

You must be clearer; I have no idea what a gremlin is.

[Arguably that would be a good thing.]

... I mean they still fucking exist in my day, is what I mean. God.

Uhhhh. Jack-asses, dickheads, assholes, that kind of thing. But in, like, a kind of way where you see them rummaging through a garbage can as if they eat garbage kind of way. I don't know if that makes sense, but whatever. Chaotic.

[Insert sound of Victorian gasping here.]

Right then.

It is certainly a colourful description of them. I cannot say it's anything Pendleton, so you must ask Jonathan.

[Is she throwing her dearly beloved under the hypothetical train tracks? Yes. Because she was not the one swinging frogs about.]

That's. Probably fair.

Alternatively it could just be some weird issue stemming from great grandpa, honestly. Which I'd believe.

[Joseph Joestar, the Actual Worst Gremlin. Also please do keep throwing him under the track, she finds it hilarious.]

Some things have no explanation, though. It could very well be that, in this case.

Or something else. Who knows? But, it isn't anything I can take credit or be blamed for. A neutral party, you see.

Mmm. If you wanna believe that.

Not that I can say much 'bout it since you don't know shit about great grandpa to begin with. But he's kind of the definition of a chaotic, so I've heard.

Buuuut whatever, you have fun with your... whole... husband situation or w/e. I got other things to attend to, anyway.

Yes, good night. As always, a pleasure to speak with you.

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