victory_road | THICK AS THIEVULS

[It is a terrible idea. Argo hadn't been so sure about the whole "sidekicks needing to step in and take the blame so their heroes (or villains) can sweep in and save the day" thing, but right now he's really feeling it.

So a pair of hands settle on Fitzroy's shoulders and yank him gently, but firmly, backwards, so Argo can sweep smoothly into the space he's made with a humbling bow and an apologetic grin.]

There y'are, Fitzy! Ma'am, [and he gives the shopkeeper a flourishing bow] I could not apologise more f'r letting him run amok in your wonderful, eh- establishment. I'm supposed to be keepin' an eye on him, y'see, I promised his dear old mam that he wouldn't go bein' a nuisance to anyone, and here I am letting him harass you about his cloak delusions! I'm so- hahaaa, I'm so very sorry, I'll just get him out of your lovely hair.

[From the point he makes his charming fake laugh he's scooting backwards, trying to shove Fitz and Snippers (and the crab seems different? whatever) backwards towards the exit, until he says goodbye and then he turns around and starts shoving them out the door.

Following along at Argo's heels seems to be a sentient, giant lilypad nearly two feet across and bouncing cheerfully along after him.]

[Excuse you, don't touch hi-... oh, it's Argo. Okay, fine, that's mostly acceptable instead of just some rando deciding to touch his expensive fancy clothes and try to move him away from what is clearly a huge misunderstanding! It certainly doesn't stop him from flustering given the whole sputtering of incoherent words before merely pursing his lips and being rather annoyed by the whole situation instead.

The shopkeeper doesn't seem... really all that bothered, other than annoyed. And merely waving a hand at the both of them and wandering towards the back of the shop instead. A bit of time away from these absolute weirdos seems to be the actual answer to the situation at hand.

And Fitzroy can at least wait until they're outside to say anything about what just happened. While the New Snippers (tm) just chills next to him. Nothing new. Ridiculous crab.]

I had that, you know! [You certainly did not, Fitzroy. You one hundred percent did not have that.]

I think they were just about to take my money and be done with the whole thing. And now we're back at square one instead. [WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN, FITZ?]

It's cute that ya think that, Fitz. [He hefts his wallet out of his back pocket, tossing it into the air once before he lobs it at his idiot friend's head.] Gold's nice and all, but if you're going to buy things here you need t'use the local cash.

[--hold on Argo doesn't have a wallet. This is someone else's - an ID card depicting a smug-looking older man is nestled into it, along with a large amount of paper currency.]

I can hold onto your gold in the meantime, there's gotta be a fence somewhere we can make use of, right? Get ourselves a little bit more prepared round here?

Cute isn't the word I would use to describe myself. [F i t z r o y, please. No. Good thing he's yelping and somehow managing to catch that wallet before it smacks him in the head. Or face. Please don't break his glasses that he totally doesn't need for anything other than to make himself look smart. That's quite rude, Argo.]

Local cash should still work on a gold and silver standard, shouldn't it? Otherwise... otherwise how does it work? [He has somewhat of a point there, what is the currency based on? Huh.

Of course he's going to go through it and...

He knows he shouldn't be surprised that it's stolen, but he's a little surprised that it's stolen.]

When did you even get a chance to take this? I'm not complaining, it's actually somewhat impressive. [Stop questioning the rogue.]

A... fence? I don't know how a fence would help us. [He's an idiot.]

All the locals here seem to be using paper and silver. See? [oh good now the Genasi is holding up a pilfered coin, about the size of a copper piece but small and round and silver with a hole through it. Then he spreads his fingers and there's four of them, one between each digit, and he throws them all in the air to catch in his fist.] And I have a life outside of being your sidekick, don'tchyaknow. I'm a very- [he flourishes at himself] a very social and independent person!

[He holds the pose for a moment, looking very rugged and roguish, before he drops it and continues.] Anyway, if we can't use gold here, we might as well... you know, trade up. Gold's still gold, it's still fancy and expensive, we just gotta sell it to someone, get some local cash back, and go hog-wild while we look for our buddy!

What kind of fool would use paper? That wouldn't stand up to a simple matter of travel, and what if it gets wet? Then that just becomes useless or, worse, just disintegrates and you're out of money. [Oddly, he has somewhat of a point there. But he's keeping an eye on him, eyes widening for a brief second at that whole... spectacle.

Is this how all rogues are? He's starting to wonder if that's the case or if it's just Argo being, well, Argo. He's fairly certain it's the latter, however. Probably the safest bet at the end of the day.

And that's a hell of a pose, even if he's snorting at it and turning away for a moment to look anywhere else. For no! Reason! Other than it's ridiculous, of course!]

Of course you have a life outside of all of this, but I would think taking someone's wallet would be a little more difficult and take a little more time. And you're certain that no one noticed you taking that? I'm not terribly keen on having to deal with whatever local law enforcement is in this place for something like petty thievery. [Even if it would absolutely track for them.

God, that's actually a little sad and pathetic.]

... Are we talking about the same thing? [SINCE WHEN DOES WOOD EXCHANGE CURRENCY?????]

But, ah, I suppose that should be the priority. He has to be around here somewhere, correct? Though I would think a firbolg a lot easier to find in a crowd than has been the case thus far. Or he would have managed to find us before this point... It's quite concerning.

Wehl, it's more like a plastick-y kind of paper. Like it feels laminated, but it's definitely paper. [It's weird paper, he's not sure he likes it.

But Fitzroy's little snort as he turns away makes Argo grin widely. He knows you like hiiiim, you're his beeeest frieeeeend.

He just bounces up beside Fitz so he can rest his elbow on his friend's shoulder, rumpling the cloak a little in the process.] What can I say, I'm good at my job. And it's not like we haven't done waa-ha-hay worse. [Calhain comes to mind and is immediately dismissed. As is Fitzroy not understanding that gold can be exchanged for goods and services, such as getting said gold converted to useful money.]

Maybe he... found a forest already! Made some more pegasus friends, or something! By the sounds of things we're not the only ones who came from somewhere else and landed somewhere completely random, maybe he did too!

Plastick-y kind of paper. What? [Argo, that sounds ridiculous and stupid, even for you. Not that he'd say that aloud, of course not, that's pure rude and he's not about to do that. Not to him. Mostly.

ALSO HE TOTALLY DOES NOT LIKE HIM, NOPE. HE'S JUST BEING EMBARRASSING LEVELS OF CRINGE.]

Well, yes, but usually there's an actual reason behind the worse things we've done. [Why are you rumpling his cloak, excuse you, that's a very expensive piece of clothing you're messing up there, sir. Except he's not really stopping him as he knows that's a moot point at this juncture.] And I would think the worse things would also, you know, not be something we'd need to do here. [Please don't make him pull someone's hand off again, once was enough, thank you. While he may be a villain ~~in training~~, that doesn't mean he's all about this nasty mess.]

I... suppose that could be true. There seems to be a copious amount of strange creatures wandering about this place. But, I would think, we would have heard about someone like Bud nearby. Whether from questioning stares and conversations or how the local population of flora and fauna are being attracted to a strange animal-like creature they have never seen before. [He's not... necessarily wrong.]

[He taps the wallet again.] Have a screw-around with it yerself if you don't believe me. With this much we probably won't need to do anything shady at all!

[just ignoring how shady his stealing a wallet with plasticky paper and some loose coins is. that's just standard rogue shady.]

Well, I still look like me. [He says, lifting his free hand to flick at his luxurious ponytail. Argo is as blue and scaley as ever.] If he still looks like himself too, maybe people think he's a really weird one of these things.

[And he nudges Weird New Snippers and the Walking Lilypad with one boot.] I mean, he does look like a shrub most of the time, right?

[Standard rogue shady in a place they aren't familiar with and without their large and intimidating looking friend. Lovely. But of course he's going to investigate this nonsense himself, brow knitting as... that... seems to be true.]

How fascinating. I wonder how they manage that... [This seems easier than carrying around gold pieces, after all. A lot less weight and easier to hide on your person. Huh.

Also stop being shady, Argo, oh my god.]

I suppose it would be possible? It probably is possible. ... Maybe he's embracing that shrubby lifestyle and we just weren't made aware of it. That's... that's his prerogative, I guess. [Why the hell would someone want to be a shrub? But, to be fair, the firbolg is a strange one that he still hasn't quite figured out.]

New Snippers seems to be quite okay with everything and just as talkative as normal. And just as useful. As for your... thing there, I cannot say the same. [See, Snippers is even scuttling away from the boot and making an annoyed noise and clacking his claws. Perfectly normal Snippers behavior!]

[Any other retorts Argo had planned (and believe him, he has so many lined up) get stopped short when Fitzroy insults his weird little creature thing.]

Hey! I don't go insulting Snippers for-- for frothing up the bath and being a terrible scribe, you don't get to go and insult Little Buddy!

[He removes his arm from Fitz's shoulder and squats down to pick up the thing, tucking his hands underneath the leaf and lifting the Lotad up to chest height. There are six nubby legs and a slightly wall-eyed face going on under there, that focuses sharply on Fiztroy when the genasi shoves their faces together.] You apologise!

[Argo, Argo please. Don't shove that thing in his face, it's weird looking and probably has some sort of disease that they don't know of!

In fact, he's immediately moving to pull his face away from that creature, nose wrinkled with absolute disgust towards... well, everything, at this point.]

Get that thing out of my face! You don't know where it's been! [Fair point, perhaps. Even if he's taking a step or two back with purse lips and knit brow.]

I will not apologize to some strange creature, in a strange place, that has suddenly decided it wants to be your friend out of absolutely nowhere! And Snippers is perfectly capable at everything he does, thank you very much!

Well, you don't know where Snippers has been! [But he does lower the thing, instead holding it sideways under one arm - and its legs wiggle wildly, its mouth opening and a sort of bubbling noise escaping, so Argo can jab a finger playfully into Fitzroy's chest.] You kiss your mother with that mouth too, and you don't even know where Snipper's butthole is! At least mine has a proper mouth!

Snippers is a magical construct, Argo, I do, in fact know exactly where he has been! Because it's my magic, remember? [Fitzroy, honey, that's a krabby and not your magical construct crab, but it's probably fine right now.]

ALSO I'M NOT KISSING SNIPPERS, AM I? [He's pretty sure he's not! Last he! Checked! Also wow, rude.]

What does my mother have to do with literally any of this? Once again, I have not been kissing a crab and look at that thing [he points at the Pokemon again in Argo's arms.] it's practically acting like it'll foam at the mouth any second!

Snippers is foaming at the mouth!! You're being-- [shit what species is Little Buddy] This is my familiar, now, you're being familiar-ist just because he's different!

[The Lotad just stares at Fitzroy some more.]

And I'm not going to stand for it! All familiars matter, Fitzy!

Snippers is a beautiful and wonderful baby boy and I will hear absolutely no different. [This is a sore subject, why would you ev-... EXCUSE?????]

Familiar-ist isn't even a thing! Also that's not a familiar! Is your magic in that thing? No? Then it's not a familiar, Argo!

[He really, sincerely, detests this lotad right now. Heaven help them.]

I do have magic, I can control water! And so can he!

[He lifts up his Lotad with both hands again, this time holding the Pokemon between its middle and hind legs, and deliberately squeezes it firmly.

This makes it gob up a fat burst of water, straight into Fitzroy's face. Are those glasses gonna protect your poor eyes, Fitzy?] See!

Edited 2020-06-30 14:33 (UTC)

[You know, he was about to respond to that with some version of bullshit. Until that's water from that nasty thing's mouth. And his first response is pure-ass confusion.

His second response is immediately crouching down to grab New Snippers and chuck him at Argo's face. Enjoy that krabby, buddy.]

[He's seen this move once before, but that doesn't mean he's particularly prepared for the crab to be thrown at him.

It's a bit late to wonder if he crossed a line there, isn't it? oh well, he's getting clocked across the face with fifteen pounds of giant crab now, and he lets out a loud squawk of pain as he flails, half-throwing his Lotad into the air as he goes down.]

[No one. No one is safe from having a crab thrown at their face and maybe one day Argo will learn he is literally no exception to that rule. Though he does blink slowly when he realizes what he's done. Welp.

And New Snippers (tm) is just going to sit on Argo's chest for a moment before scuttling back over to Fitzroy, lightly foaming at the mouth and clacking his claws in utter victory.]

I would normally apologize for that but I feel it might have been justified this time around, actually. [NO.]

[The Lotad, by some miracle, lands upright and on its feet, and when it watches New Snippers waddle away it follows him, and puts a little nubby foot delicately on Fitzroy's foot, tilting its lilypad back to stare at him again.

Argo just lies on his back and groans dramatically, lifting a hand to drape across his forehead for a moment. Until he realises Fitz isn't giving him any pity, so he just pushes himself back to his feet.]

Yeah, yeah. At least you didn't rage to do it, we don't need more shit blowing up.

[New Snippers at least seems content to stay next to Fitzroy and ignore the lotad. While Fitz himself is squinting at the weird little creature that is deciding to touch his form in any capacity and just casually try to slide said foot back to not be in contact with the lotad.]

Yes, well, you didn't really deserve a rage. [Is... that meant to be a positive or is that meant to be mocking? Who really knows at this juncture, he sure doesn't.] Also please come collect your whatever this is before it decides to soil my clothing by touching me again.

[The Lotad keeps its foot on Fitzroys's for as long as it physically can, before it resumes staring at him. And starts bubbling at the mouth. At least Argo picks him up then, hoisting him under one arm again.]

Little Buddy's a good boy. But sure, yeah, we're not really getting anywhere just standing here, are we?

[This thing is clearly rabid and he honestly hates every second of it being near him. Please don't soil his clothing, lotad, please.]

You've had it for all of maybe a day, Argo. [... That's probably a fair enough point even as he's shifting to run his hands down his top to smooth out any wrinkles that might have decided to pop up. Have to look presentable for the people around them, right? Right.]

We aren't. Might as well ask around and see if anyone's seen Bud or... someone similar to him, at the very least, since who knows what this place may have done...

THICK AS THIEVULS

You're not a goddamn Influencer you're a nuisance

YOU'RE the nuisance!!!!

YOUR FACE IS A NUISANCE

WOW, THAT... THAT HURTS. :<

I say it bc i love you and you need to hear it

Do not!!!!

YES!!!

No!!!!

I can and WILL!!!!!

Rude!!!!

At least he CAN be rude

>|

>)

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