Steven 'Sharpteeth' Durante (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fingersandteeth) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
victory_road2020-07-01 10:50 am
fingersandteeth) wrote in victory_road2020-07-01 10:50 am
TEXT - backdated to the evening of 6/30 (cw: sibling death)
You would think that knowing for sure would make things better but it doesn't really.
It doesn't matter that she's got some good wraith friends or that Old Man Tsukiyomi's original is summoning her shade on the regular or that she doesn't blame me or that she knows now that goddamn piece of shit Fetch wasn't me.
She should be twenty-six twenty-seven something like that goddamn fairy time bullshit the point is that she's never going to be that old she's always going to be twenty-five right now twenty-five and dead.
You would have thought it would be good to see her over the weekend and it was but she's gone now and it's her birthday and everything hurts.
No matter how much I smoke Lydia it still hurts.
Fuck.
[Turns out you don't need an ion storm for what you thought were private messages getting sent to the network if you're intoxicated enough.]
It doesn't matter that she's got some good wraith friends or that Old Man Tsukiyomi's original is summoning her shade on the regular or that she doesn't blame me or that she knows now that goddamn piece of shit Fetch wasn't me.
She should be twenty-six twenty-seven something like that goddamn fairy time bullshit the point is that she's never going to be that old she's always going to be twenty-five right now twenty-five and dead.
You would have thought it would be good to see her over the weekend and it was but she's gone now and it's her birthday and everything hurts.
No matter how much I smoke Lydia it still hurts.
Fuck.
[Turns out you don't need an ion storm for what you thought were private messages getting sent to the network if you're intoxicated enough.]
Re: text;
Oh no no no no this is the worst argh.
This was for Lydia not you please go away.
text;
With that being said, I will take my leave. But, our differences and disagreements aside, I meant what I said: you have my condolences--she was a fine young lady, a pity she was taken so young.
[Honestly, she wasn't much older than his son when he died to that terrible disease.]
Re: text;
She was a far better person than I will ever be.
text;
To that we are in agreement.
However, there is no shame in grief, regardless of the time there may be between where we are now and when we last saw the ones we lost. Be it minutes, hours, years...the heart does not account for time, and neither should we.
Re: text;
But yeah no Charley was always the best of the two of us she might have also had trouble understanding how normal people thought but she never had any trouble caring about anyone she loved the whole world you know or nearly she would carry a grudge like anything she was like me in that way but she cared so goddamn much Solus she cared so goddamn much.
text;
More oft than not the best of us are taken—and those whom are wretched are left behind. It is the cruel irony of life, of existence, but as such it is our duty to remember them. To cherish those fleeting moments—regardless of how painful—so that they will never truly die.
Re: text;
text; privated
A simple apology will not make up for such grievous wounds made anew, regardless of the intent that went behind your schemes. This I am sure you know well, yes?
Nevertheless, and more on topic, there is never a day that goes by that I think not of my lost friends, family, and loves. What you saw in my dream was from eons ago, a time before mortals existed, and still my heart aches for them as powerfully as it ever did. As I am sure your heart will ache for your sister till your dying day—be not ashamed of this. For this is proof of your love and bond with her.
That her existence meant something to you. That her memory is worth preserving.
text; privated
Yeah no I get that I do I was lucky that you didn't find me before we lost all our powers again I'd probably be dead now to be honest.
My heart does ache like I was trying to tell Lydia I don't care that she's got wraith friends and her ex-mage buddy summons her all the time and that if I go back to my life and become my perfect older self I'll be able to see her all the time as a ghost what matters is that she died and I lived and honestly it should have been the other way around.
text; privated cw: vague allusions to suicide ideation...
Part of him, a very petty part of him, wants to hone in on that mention of his perfect older self, say just how much better that other self is, but he doesn't. He leaves it be, because this seems to be going somewhere.]
Very lucky. In fact, I found that other you instead. For what it's worth, I did not harm a hair on his head, though that does not seem like it is a worry in your mind.
Well do I know this sentiment, but there is little we can do about it. At least not here, and certainly not for me, nonetheless. I suggest you find those close to you, seek their comfort. Little will it fix the issue, nor will it change what has come to pass, but such succor can serve as a balm to an aching heart.
You have those who will be glad to do so, waste not their companionship in your time of need.
[Solid advice from a guy who...did not have that in his.]
text (privated)
And look if you could see the guy the way I could see him you wouldn't worry either about him holding his own he's got a gun and a shitton more power than I do.
I guess he didn't have the gun with him but he's the goddamn fucking Barrow-Tender do you know what that means in a Changeling Court Solus do you know what that means he fucking does?
But thank you I guess for your kind words even though it doesn't make any goddamn sense for you to give them to me all things considered.
text (privated)
But, you know not what I can see, Steven. I saw far more than merely his power, and if you and he are much the same, then I would wager the damage done to his soul is much the same as what has been done to yours. I can behold others in a way no mortal can—and while I know little about your world's Fae, though I do know the Fae of my reality, I need not specifics to measure his strength. It was impressive for a mortal, that much I will admit. You are a seed of potential, one that merely needs proper nurturing.
But I believe I have said enough, I will leave you to grieving, for even an unscrupulous villain as you see me has that which he considers sacred.
text (privated)
But yes the Hedge does that.
Goodnight Solus.
text (privated)
Never you mind about all of that.
Goodnight Steven.