[video]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

[Sup, poke-vets and poke-newbs. It looks like Route 30! But who the fuck can really tell since all the forests look the same and has Church ever told you that it's stupid that there aren't any roads? Because it's ridiculous that there aren't any roads. Less ridiculous are the fallen trees. Man that sure does suck. If only he had a pokemon that could do anything about it.

But that's not the part he's focused on. No, the camera swings this way, then the other way, then down to a top percentage Rattata that keeps running up and tugging on his pants and running off. Church follows until he's lost sight of the thing, which then comes to find him again. Faintly, there's a small voice in the distance...somewhere.]

Hey guys? I think Timmy's fallen down a well, cuz Lassie here's being preeeeetty persistent about leading me on--HEY! HEY CAN YOU HEAR ME? ...I know we can't get any, like, emergency vehicles out here or anything, but like, I don't know if I'll be equipped to pull someone out of a well. Or out from under a tree? I don't want to see Timmy trapped under a tree. Crush injuries are pretty bad--

Okay, hold on, ignore me, because maybe he just skinned his knee on a rock, I dunno, rats can't talk back. I'm just--I'm just saying--shit the little asshole's fast, whew--I might need some assistance? Like. Medical? Or. Airlifting? Or something. I'll uh. Let you know?

Comments

[solas_ion]

Yeah, you'd be surprised. S'easy to just lean over a little too far, then splash, good luck gettin' out.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

See, if it was just a hole in the ground, I get it, but there's like--[the video trips and stumbles, with an undignified OOF, but doesn't hit the ground] fuckin god damn trees [and back up again]--there's like walls. A singular round wall, in fact. For a reason. Like you shouldn't even really have to lean over, much less that far, unless you're, I dunno, changing the rope on the bucket, I guess?

See, this is why people make pump wells.

[solas_ion]

Ain't hard to lean over too far if you're a kid or somethin'. They're short and kind of stupid, accidents happen.

[...]

Ain't speakin' from experience, though.

[Sure.]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Uh-huh. So how many wells did Lassie have to save you from?

[solas_ion]

'Shut up', is how many.