[video]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

[Sup, poke-vets and poke-newbs. It looks like Route 30! But who the fuck can really tell since all the forests look the same and has Church ever told you that it's stupid that there aren't any roads? Because it's ridiculous that there aren't any roads. Less ridiculous are the fallen trees. Man that sure does suck. If only he had a pokemon that could do anything about it.

But that's not the part he's focused on. No, the camera swings this way, then the other way, then down to a top percentage Rattata that keeps running up and tugging on his pants and running off. Church follows until he's lost sight of the thing, which then comes to find him again. Faintly, there's a small voice in the distance...somewhere.]

Hey guys? I think Timmy's fallen down a well, cuz Lassie here's being preeeeetty persistent about leading me on--HEY! HEY CAN YOU HEAR ME? ...I know we can't get any, like, emergency vehicles out here or anything, but like, I don't know if I'll be equipped to pull someone out of a well. Or out from under a tree? I don't want to see Timmy trapped under a tree. Crush injuries are pretty bad--

Okay, hold on, ignore me, because maybe he just skinned his knee on a rock, I dunno, rats can't talk back. I'm just--I'm just saying--shit the little asshole's fast, whew--I might need some assistance? Like. Medical? Or. Airlifting? Or something. I'll uh. Let you know?

Comments

video;

[pipers_son]

I can send some a my stronger types yer way, but I'm a bit pre-occupied with a situation of my own. Still, s'most I can do.

Sound good ta ya?

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Uh, I mean, sure, if you really don't need the extra hands? I've only got like the vaguest idea of the bullshit happening everywhere else, so.

[pipers_son]

Ha, s'fine! Got a group a people with me ta pick up any slack. At this point, I think my Gardevoir will help ya more than she'll help me.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

I'll keep an eye out for your... [........he pokes at his dex] siri what's a gardevoir?

Yeah, her! Promise I won't steal her. Or let her beat up any little kids lost in the middle of the fucking woods, or whatever.

[pipers_son]

[Joker snickers into one hand.] Mate, she’s so smart, I don’t think ya could nab her if ya tried. Anyway, where exactly are ya? I’ll tell her where ta meet ya.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Uh. I'm. ...Uh. Uhhhhhhh. [He looks around. He's not too far off the beaten path, given that the beaten path is littered with fallen trees that would take ages to fully climb over to get to the next town over. But, panning, there's the roof of a building in the distance, and, hey, over that way's some water, maybe a lake?] Somewhere here-ish on 30. I might be preoccupied I think I'm close. Close-ish. I'll try not to get startled to fuck when she shows up if she finds me. I'll be the frantic, devilishly handsome guy with a rat tugging at his pants.

[pipers_son]

Ha. Well, I’ll tell her ta look out for the rat especially. It’ll take a few hours, but I’ll try ta get her there quick.

[True enough, a few hours later, a large Charizard can be seen swooping through the air and dropping off a dainty Gardevoir before taking off again. Sorry, Church, Charizard has her own problems. The Gardevoir gives a wave when she sees him, however.]

[video]

[solas_ion]

I didn't think we even had wells around here.

[Missing the point a little.]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

You know what, it wouldn't even surprise me at this point. Hell, it'd even be a good idea, so long as it wasn't infested with critters. I'm not sure how people ever fall into wells, though. [That's okay he's fine not being on the point.]

[solas_ion]

Yeah, you'd be surprised. S'easy to just lean over a little too far, then splash, good luck gettin' out.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

See, if it was just a hole in the ground, I get it, but there's like--[the video trips and stumbles, with an undignified OOF, but doesn't hit the ground] fuckin god damn trees [and back up again]--there's like walls. A singular round wall, in fact. For a reason. Like you shouldn't even really have to lean over, much less that far, unless you're, I dunno, changing the rope on the bucket, I guess?

See, this is why people make pump wells.

[solas_ion]

Ain't hard to lean over too far if you're a kid or somethin'. They're short and kind of stupid, accidents happen.

[...]

Ain't speakin' from experience, though.

[Sure.]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Uh-huh. So how many wells did Lassie have to save you from?

[solas_ion]

'Shut up', is how many.

[Audio]

[foolishwren]

--oh, holy shit! Is that Youngster Joey's Rattata?!

_{[A moment of thought.]}

... Maybe this means he won't call me at four in the morning to talk about rats anymore.

Re: [Audio]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Wha--do you know this little guy? And the guy this little guy comes from? Maybe I should just leave him down in the well, huh. [it's a joke he swears it's a joke]

[Audio]

[foolishwren]

Well, sort of-- in a one-sided kind of way. He does that to everybody.

_{[MOST PEOPLE STRAIGHT UP DON'T GIVE THEIR 'GEAR NUMBER TO JOEY ANYMORE.]}

... Don't leave him in the well, though, he's like... ten.

[video]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Well maybe the 10-year-old should learn not to call people up in the middle of the night and also not lean over wells far enough to fall in. [Careful, that rat might tackle you in the balls, Church.]

[video]

[foolishwren]

... You're not really gonna leave him down there, are you?

[video]

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Wh--no, I'm not gonna leave the kid down in a well. Or stuck under a tree, or cornered by angry rock elephants or whatever.

[video]

[foolishwren]

Okay, sorry, you just... never KNOW in this place.

One time I was talking to this dude for the very first time and he just decided that he was in Hell, I was the devil, and that he had to come find me and kill me.

In hindsight, that was kinda flattering, but still.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

That...isn't... I mean I guess if someone thought I was in charge of a hellscape, that'd be kind of cool? But that's really fucked up.

I mean. I don't have to tell you that, but still, I'd be less flattered and more--yeah.

[foolishwren]

Yeah.

We get all types here.

_{[Ironically, that guy had gone on to be a very friendly acquaintance, but she'd never totally forgotten that he once mistook her for Satan. You don't forget that kind of thing.]}

[Video]

[ratherbelocky]

Holy shit, how'd you get all the way back there, man?

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

I don't know! How'd we get to the actual moon and back? Maybe space cat and angry space deer did some magical space juju to save us from some kind of calamity and then just kinda dropped us wherever the fuck there was land.

Oh my god. I am not walking all the way back to Goldenrod. Wait--wait, maybe I can take that shortcut! Maybe I won't get my ass handed to me if I do! Maybe I should sssstart getting gym badges...?

[ratherbelocky]

[Well, if Church is yelling this much, he's probably okay.]

The gym badges do help with transportation, I hear. Think your team can handle it? I missed out on the first one, but he shouldn't be too tough.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

[IS HE EVER OKAY?] I don't know. Depends on how strong the first guy is. Is first guy strong? Or does he just fight with like...little baby critters because that's what's around the area? I don't know how these things work and I even have a how-to guide!

...Man that makes me sound dumb. I promise I'm not dumb.

[ratherbelocky]

Never would've said you were.

[Out loud.]

Anyway, he's gotta be lower-level than the girl in the second gym, and she wasn't that bad. [You know. From a Freelancer perspective.] I know he fights with Flying-types. Your Pokéball guy is an Electric-type, right? He'll do well against those.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

...Guess it makes sense that lightning would be bad on those who can fly around. [church do you even know anything about type strengths and weaknesses] Y'know what's still weird? This computer thing is still weird. I find it super unfair that I can't carry all of the ones I catch with me. Shouldn't I have all my potential firepower with me?

[ratherbelocky]

Come on, man, it builds character. Teaches you...flexibility or something. Planning? Something like that. Do you really have that many?

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

I mean I've got a couple zapped off to the computer... Like. A big rock dinosaur? I guess I caught that when I was...less me. But it looks bitchin'. And I have a blob that transforms into whatever the fuck it wants? That one can stay, as far as I'm concerned right now. And...a couple others.

Like what about breeders? Is it like...so long as you don't catch them in a ball, they can just chill out with you all day?

[ratherbelocky]

Naw, we've got the six-at-a-time restriction, too, except that the three of us are renting a house. So long as they're on our property, we can have more than six hanging out, I think. The limitation must be a travel thing.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Shit, right, I forgot there were three of you in a place. That must get nuts. How do you even wrangle them all?

[ratherbelocky]

Would you believe discipline and a firm hand?

[Pfffttt, nah.]

A few of ours are old enough and smart enough to give us a hand with the others. I think the worst was when North and I got egg clutches at the same time, though. The living room was all over eggs, I tell ya.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

[Right. One of the people York lives with is North. That's not...awkward. Or anything.] Do...they all lay eggs? Not just birds?

[ratherbelocky]

They all lay eggs. Not just birds. Which is actually sort of a blessing, if you think about it.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

But they aren't--........oh, damn. EW. Okay, I...see your point.

...All of them, though? What about the ones that are...electroballs or swords or pinecones?

[ratherbelocky]

[YEAH YORK ISN'T REALLY HERE TO HELP DRAGONS THROUGH THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH...]

Uh, I think there are some that don't breed? And there are some you can only breed with a--hey, you said you had a transforming blob? That thing can breed with pretty much anything, so keep an eye on it.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

..........I

wh

that's not--that doesn't make--

.......the fuck.

[ratherbelocky]

At some point I just kinda stopped questioning things. Gets you in trouble, questions.

[motherfucking_ghosttype]

Questions just mostly lead to a lot of frustrating terrible answers from dumbasses.