victory_road | Video Post

[Jack's been a bit absent from the network this week. He's had a lot on his mind, a lot to deal with. No one's messaged him demanding explanations, he didn't notice too many people taking Angel's bait, but he's gotta keep up like nothing's happening. Time for a little damage control.]

Hey everybody, Handsome Jack here!

In case you need a reminder, I'm the guy with the puppy who makes greeting cards.

[And as always, he's got Doom Boner in his lap and the feed is focused more on the fat puppy than on Jack himself.]

Which is what I'm here to talk to you about today! So, anybody with a pair of eyes can see what the popular Pokemon are. You want anything with a friggin Eevee on it, you can get it. Hell, you're probably gonna be stuck with crap with Eevee on it even if you don't want an Eevee on it. Eevee are on everything! Pikachu, too.

But I don't care about those. What are your favorite under-represented Pokemon? [Because everybody's got a 'favorite' mutant attack animal.] What do you want to see on more merchandise?

Participation in Hyperion Greeting market research gets you a free card!

[A pause.]

Oh, speaking of Pikachu...anyone know if any other stores in the region carry those yellow Pikachu shirts with the black silhouette on the front that's got the lightning bolts trailing behind it? They don't carry'em in the Goldenrod department store anymore, and apparently I need to replace mine.

[He is looking at you, Rhys.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

What an awesome sorta-commercial! I can't wait to hear everyone's answers!

[since when does Jack give a shit about people's favorite Pokemon? sure, it's market research, but there's about a hundred better ways to do that. all of which Jack would know, given that he's a CEO at home. so this is how he's chosen to respond to being accused of 'power-hungry megalomania' by his very much alive daughter. with a casual, overly-friendly (and frankly, grating) post about greeting cards, six days later.]

[smart. if he'd responded directly, even to deny it, he'd have shot himself in the foot and created a spectacle. and six days later is enough time that it doesn't look like he's posting as a direct response. too bad that means that what she said probably had at least a grain of truth to it, if Jack's being this careful.]

Isn't that more of a poll?

I bet there's at least one guy who's really into weird Pokemon. Like that one kid that's way into spiders and bugs.

...or whatever the equivalent would be for you since I'm guessing most people where you come from are into spiders and bugs.

You know me so well! I looove spiders!

[Jack gives no shits whatsoever. He just wants it fresh in people's minds that he's a nice, respectable local businessman who cares about his community.]

[He's no stranger to PR and propaganda.]

Same difference. Whatever. What does it matter?

You know I do, Spookybutt! Spiders and bats and that whole goth chic thing.

But don't worry, for the photoshoots, I can totes work with any Pokemon at all!

And that's why you're in charge of that whole department!

Halloween's coming up, though, so I'm gonna need you on top of that.

Oh My Ghoul, I looove Halloween! We're gunna go all out! Candles, pumpkins, masks, make them look freaky chic!

Favorite holiday, right?

Sounds good! I've only got the one ghost, but you've got a bunch of 'spooky' Pokemon, right? Oh, and I got the purple cat thing, that's freaky looking. But cute freaky.

Try not to go for the obvious, though. We want stuff that'll stand out, get people's attention out of a whole rack.

Okay, okay, but get this - what if the theme was Halloween...Masquerade? And they wear masks of different Pokemon?

That's definitely different than the usual, I'll give ya that!

Okay, so it's a cohesive set kinda thing...wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think we're on to something here, gimme a minute...

[Some kind of collect each one thing. It's a tried and true move to increase profit, and it's a play on the whole friggin 'gotta get all of them' idea behind Pokemon in general.]

Huh? A set? ... Oooh, like, people can collect different cards? And some are harder to get than others?

[like, some sort of... trading... card... THING]

Something like that.

What if instead of a set of greeting cards, we did a set of decorative prints? Four each, there's a matching theme. In type or something.

That's sooo brilliant, Jack!

The purpose behind it. Market research is a tool to help you know what people want, but polls drum up interest-- get them talking.

Damn right it is, babe!

Alright, I'll leave the details to you. Good product meeting! We deserve ice cream.

Yay! I'm going for double-scoop!

Then I guess this counts as both. Talk about efficiency!

I gotta say, this was a pretty brilliant business idea. It's already turning a hell of a profit.

I want one of those big ass waffle cones that's got chocolate inside.

Love those things.

Oh My Ghoul, those are the best, you're making me so hungry!

Yeah, I really want one now.

Screw it, let's go get ice cream. My treat.

Litwick, of course!

[...How many other Pokémon does Manaka even know? Listen, it doesn't matter, she wants all the merchandise of her adorable soul-stealing candle familiar.]

Ha! Can't say I'm surprised there.

Alright, just for you, I'll make sure we make some Litwick stuff.

Of course I'm gonna need a Litwick to take pictures of, first. Well, not me. I don't do that part, I have employees who do that stuff.

[Wait, what, Eevee? Really?]

I always thought the most popular Pokemon was Dunsparce, zura...

[Because clearly his standards are everyone's standards.]

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