victory_road | 132nd moon [video]

[A box of very strong black tea, two large porcelain cups, a bag of coffee grounds and a fancy coffee machine are set on a counter, some distance away. Looks like the Bisharp and the shiny Pangoro that have taken over the Lunar Gym's kitchen have plans for the evening. As gently as possible when one has pointy metal hands, the Bisharp pokes the box and bag in turn, then nods. Satisfied by his choices, the Pangoro turns towards the nearby fridge, opens the door...

...and takes out three whole cans of PokéMonster energy drink, dumping them all in the coffee machine's water reservoir.

At the same, the Bisharp carefully picks two tea bags from the box and sets them in place, before sitting down to wait. And wait. And wait, until the coffee maker finally stops. The resulting dubious liquid is promptly poured into both cups. Somewhere offscreen, someone chokes.

But our intrepid duo is not done! After all, what else is necessary for a good tea? Honey, of course! And milk! And... chocolate sauce... Salsa...? Wait, is that rice vinegar? Orange juice?? Are they even old enough to drink that red wine?

It's only when the Bisharp takes out a bottle of salad dressing and starts squeezing a generous dose in each cup that Cecil finally comments the scene, his voice both awed and horrified:]

Should... Should I stop them, or let nature run its course?

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That would be an excellent idea, in most situations, but when these two get started... If I do not allow them to learn from this mistake, one way or the other, I'll have to keep both the home fridge and the Gym fridge under lock until they've gotten this out of their system.

I'm so glad that other than the mystery birds, my pokémon haven't done anything like this...

Good luck, man. Cause, yikes.

The more Pokémon you catch, the more likely you are to meet some odder specimen. What are those mystery birds of yours?

[And can they top the undying rivals, the conspiracy theorist, the health nut, the frail Psychic-type that thinks he's a shonen hero...]

I'll need it, thank you. If only to look at tea again without feeling nauseated.

On Sunday night, I woke up to find a rowlet and a hoothoot in my room. Neither my companion nor I let them in or previously caught any, the doors and windows were all closed and locked, and there was no sign of damage in any of the walls. They were just... there. I still don't know where they came from, but they're pretty dead-set on staying.

Look, this isn't tea. Or coffee. This is an unholy abomination. Doesn't count, never did.

...Twice a year, there would be an almost completely acceptable explanation for that, but last Sunday? None I can think of. And as far as I know, while Hoothoot does learn certain Psychic-type moves, Teleport is not on that list...

[It's a mystery! A genuine mystery!]

Surprisingly, thinking about it that way makes me feel much better about this... whatever it's become. Thank you.

They refuse to elaborate when questioned. They just get smug. But I figure I might as well take 'em... lest I risk them doing it even more, and bringing more friends or something.

[ It's a good thing the owls are in their pokéballs right now because she's had enough of their smug hooting. Still, she sounds cheerful for her next few words. ]

Not a problem!

That would be a problem, yes. Less unpleasant than if they were Zubats, perhaps, but still far worse than dealing with some smugness.

[It also makes pokéballs an option in the first place, which is nice.]

... Zubats? Why does that sound. Bad.

[ oh bless her, she has no idea. none. ]

[On the one hand, such innocence deserves to be preserved! On the other hand, not warning people about Zubat should be a crime.]

That sounds bad because they are fast, they are many, and they are Poison-types. A lovely combination when exploring a cave!

[ Thank you good sir for not sending her in blind. ]

I mean- I do like bats, but that sounds... [ a pause. ] Really, really unpleasant. I know what I'm using that repel stuff on...

A wise choice. Their one quality over the bats from my homeworld is that they rarely attack three at a time.

[A lousy quality, yet one that is very appreciated.]

What sort of bats were you dealing with!?

Monsters that feast upon careless travelers. That describes a great part of my home's wildlife, in truth.

[ Softly, but with feeling; ] What the fuck.

Yeah, no, bats in my world are like. Not even 5 pounds-- and you have to deal with all of that?! At least the things here just want to spar.

Goodness, that's even lighter than a Zubat, much less a blood bat or a cave bat. How can the poor things possibly survive against their predators?

They use echolocation to find prey and avoid predators alike. Plus they're small and fast- very agile. And then there's the fact that they're nocturnal, y'know? Lots of advantages in the dark... but ultimately, they just don't have a lot of natural predators, and the ones they do have can find easier meals elsewhere.

[ She likes bats. ]

Not being considered worth catching and eating is, indeed, a useful skill.

[If a bit insulting, sopmewhat.]

Of course, in this world, it merely means that their population levels remain high ehough to be a bother while traveling.

[ Hey, just look at sunfish. Incredible, right? ]

Honestly, yeah. ... Not lookin' forward to it, but whatever. I've endured worse I'm sure. We'll manage. ... But just in case, what type are they?

Poison and Flying. Speedy for unevolved Pokémon, also, but if you manage to hit them they have about as much defense as wet paper.

Huh... sounds like they could be handy, though.

[ She's just going to watch the pokémon continue their battle for dominance a bit longer. ]

Careful. I think they're done.

Oh dear, I suppose I'll soon need to- Wait, is that Blizzaga's sugar-free, fat-free salad dressing? Are they out of their minds?

[Perhaps not, because Vayne looks done at his newest ingredient and suddenly flinches.]

Is that something they're not supposed to touch?

It can be bought in a single grocery store in Celadon, which receives a very limited shipment once a month and sells it for a premium. It is Blizzaga's favorite food, carefully rationed to ensure she does not run out before the next purchase.

[A beat.]

She will have their hides.

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