132nd moon [video]

[paladinlost]

[A box of very strong black tea, two large porcelain cups, a bag of coffee grounds and a fancy coffee machine are set on a counter, some distance away. Looks like the Bisharp and the shiny Pangoro that have taken over the Lunar Gym's kitchen have plans for the evening. As gently as possible when one has pointy metal hands, the Bisharp pokes the box and bag in turn, then nods. Satisfied by his choices, the Pangoro turns towards the nearby fridge, opens the door...

...and takes out three whole cans of PokéMonster energy drink, dumping them all in the coffee machine's water reservoir.

At the same, the Bisharp carefully picks two tea bags from the box and sets them in place, before sitting down to wait. And wait. And wait, until the coffee maker finally stops. The resulting dubious liquid is promptly poured into both cups. Somewhere offscreen, someone chokes.

But our intrepid duo is not done! After all, what else is necessary for a good tea? Honey, of course! And milk! And... chocolate sauce... Salsa...? Wait, is that rice vinegar? Orange juice?? Are they even old enough to drink that red wine?

It's only when the Bisharp takes out a bottle of salad dressing and starts squeezing a generous dose in each cup that Cecil finally comments the scene, his voice both awed and horrified:]


Should... Should I stop them, or let nature run its course?

Comments

[ video ]

[fortuna_tenax]

[ She's been watching quietly, aghast and awed at the selection of items. Her pokémon could never see this. The crime birds can't be enabled further. This is what recovery from a cold has come to: food crimes, pokémon edition. ]

... I want to see where this goes, personally.

[ But she also lives for chaos, and acknowledges that things may be broken in the process. ]

Wait- would any of that make them sick? That comes first-

[ video ]

[paladinlost]

Ramza is part Steel-type, so nothing they add to their mixture can poison him. As for Vayne... Bears are knowns for eating nearly anything, are they not?

[So it should be the same for drinks, right? Right??]

Part of me wishes to see who will win this new bout of rivalry, but the rest knows I'll have to deal with the cleanup afterwards.

[ video ]

[fortuna_tenax]

If they can make the mess, they can help clean it up. I know how smart and capable these guys are.

[ Granted, the bladed hands might be difficult. But. He's managing all of this already, isn't he? ]

Is- is this actually good to them? Legitimately.

[ video ]

[paladinlost]

True, true. I'm not certain I should trust them with chemicals after this, just to be safe, but as long as they're not dying they can at least wipe the counter.

[And the floor, and whatever else is needed.]

...Frankly, I've no idea. I think not, because otherwise the challenge would be lessened. Yet certain species do eat foods that people would generally consider unpalatable, while others are willing to try anything. My Arcanine even attempted to eat Goomy slime, once.

[ video ]

[fortuna_tenax]

... I'm gonna be honest. I don't know what either of those are. But that sounds incredibly chaotic, and maybe a bit concerning.

[ She hasn't stopped watching the additional ingredients being gained. It's a nightmare. She can't look away. ]

So you think they're trying to... make the grossest drink? ... God, they sound like college kids or something.

video

[fearinahandfulof]

Why are they... doing that?

video

[paladinlost]

Either because they can, or because their rivalry has progressed beyond battle. Potentially both at once.

[A lot of Cecil's Pokémon are just Like That, and he has long accepted that fact.]

[fearinahandfulof]

They're rivals?

[And... this is the form that rivalry is taking now?]

[paladinlost]

Ever since I caught them. No, before I caught them; I stumbled upon them in the middle of a very spirited argument.

[Then, like an idiot, he decided catching them was a good idea.]

[text]

[demonpuppy]

drink it

[video]

[paladinlost]

And get in the way of their grand battle of wills and tastebuds? I think not.

[Considering the twin glares suddenly sent his way, it would certainly be a terrible idea.]

[text]

[demonpuppy]

coward

[video]

[paladinlost]

If you'd ever tasted my team's famous Raw Chicken With Cement Potatoes, you too would be wary of their culinary creations. Besides, they have... "dibs", is it?

[That's what the kids say, right?]

[Video]

[sharddrive]

Not a fan of condiments in your tea?

[Is he being serious ir not? Unclear.]

[Video]

[paladinlost]

Not when the result is more condiment than tea, no.

[Or, you know, at all.]

[sharddrive]

I'm not a tea guy in general, maybe it tastes really good that way.

[Seems unlikely, but he just got taste buds like three days ago, who knows.]

Unless they're putting in anything dangerous it's probably fine?

[paladinlost]

Considering the variety of ingredients they've chosen, along with their respective tastes, I find that theory unlikely.

[Not entirely impossible! But yes, unlikely.]

As a Steel-type, Ramza is immune to poison, so he'll be fine no matter what. As for Vayne... should his mouth or his stomach disagree with the mixture, well. I suppose I've cleaned up worse before.

[video]

[lightningfang]

[The boy who turns on his video is clearly still not used to handling it, considering he appears to be pulling the Gear unreasonably close to his face, as if that will give him a better view of all of these... ingredients. Over half of which he does not recognize whatsoever. His face personifies part confusion, part awe, eyes wide and lips slightly parted.]

Your 'mons... know alchemy? [Because that's the only reasonable explanation for... this.]

[video]

[paladinlost]

These two... are aware of the concept of tea, and perhaps even of what it should contain, but it matters far less to them than the thrill of victory. Any other art or science is irrelevant, as far as they are concerned.

[This is most probably his way of saying 'hell no they don't'. It's lucky he's offscreen, because his face currently shows nothing but despair.]

[lightningfang]

They are proving dominance? [It's... certainly one of the odder displays Razor has ever witnessed.]

Who wins? [Could it be when the cups spill over? There seems to be quite a lot in them already...]

[paladinlost]

Something like that.

[Over each other or over their stomachs, who could say?]

A winner has yet to be decided this time, but this is hardly their first competition. Their results tend to average out to a tie, over time.

[nastyboy]

That texture does not seem as though it would feel good.

[Yes. That's the issue here. The texture.]

[paladinlost]

[Let's be fair, the texture probably is an issue, too.]

That texture, that taste, that... everything, really. As far as they're concerned, that's the point.

[nastyboy]

And this is proving... what, necessarily, to them?

Is it truly something that cannot be solved in any other way?

[paladinlost]

Their superiority over one another, of course. Or so they believe. They've already tried to settle their rivalry through window-washing, flower-picking, lullaby-singing, cookie-eating... The list goes on and on. Yet their victories always average out over time.