victory_road

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[The video opens on a shot of what looks like a Stunky wandering through a field of summer flowers, tail twitching. The Stunky is wearing a straw hat with flowers on it. It looks like a pleasant scene...until a Cutiefly lands on the Stunky's nose. The Stunky suddenly lets out an indignant screech, shakes its head and turns around...to release it's stink. The startled -and unhappy - Cutiefly takes off, dripping scent spray.]

Holy shitballs!

[Jack's voice can be heard off camera as the Stunky, tail swishing, glowers in every direction as though she's looking for a fight.]

I've never seen her do that before! I was just getting some shots for a clip reel I'm putting together and all of a sudden Princess Stank over there turns her ass into a full on biological weapon!

I mean I know she could make stink, she's done little stink bombs before when she's pissed off, but did you see how far that went? That was more than ten feet!

Good thing I did this in a public park, not my yard!

Anyway, this is Princess Assface McStinkbutt, but we just call her Princess Stank. Or just Princess if you're my roommate and obsessed with her. Remember this butt-looking face, it's gonna be a viral sensation by next year!

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Uu. Is she really a princess?

[Maria's not-quite-ten. She might be a little credulous when it comes to these things.]

Obviously not, she's a skunk cat. It's just her name cuz she spoiled like a princess.

Uu. She could have been the princess of the skunks? [Why wouldn't skunks have a monarchy?]

Is the funny bee your pokemon too?

Probably not, pretty sure cat-skunks don't have a complex system of government. They just stink what they don't like.

Nope! Sucks to be whoever it belongs to.

Is having kings and queens and stuffs really that complex? I thought they just told people what to do and then they did it.

That's government, cupcake. A monarchy system. Kings and queens are governing monarchs, they're in charge of making sure everything works right and laws are followed and all that shit. They're busy as hell and have to deal with everything.

Stunky don't have a civilization, they don't have laws, they don't have any sort of complex set social hierarchy. They probably just have The Stinkiest Stunky or something.

Ohhhhhh.

[Maria is learning a lot today.]

So the Stinkiest Stunky is like the king or queen or emperor! I get it!

[...]

Are we sure Princess isn't the Stinkiest Stunky? It looks like she's pretty stinky.

Alright, sure, why not?

But she's gonna be an internet star anyway and it'll be a way better use of her time. Not that she does anything ever.

A most suitable and dignified moniker, indeed. You certainly are a man of exemplary eloquence.

[He offers a lopsided smirk that leans more to the right. He knows this Jack isn't the one he has had experience with before, but he has no desire to lord that over him.

At least not so directly.]

Do you intend her celebrity ascension to be propelled by her gaseous nature alone? Or is there more to this creature than meets the nose?

Don't tell me, I didn't name her, she came as Assface McStinkbutt. Which is way too long to say anyway. Princess works.

No, that was just a fun little thing that happened! Princess is friggin talented, especially if my roommate's working with her. Dude's like the Stunky Whisperer, he can dress her up and get her to do tricks and shit. But hey, not gonna say no to having a stink bomb on hands at all time.

Even the most odorous can be royalty, so I question not the title granted.

[He'd argue that most royalty are rather foul, so what more suiting of a title could there be?]

A lady with many talents, I see! Well, perhaps with her dedicated coach she will yet win the hearts of the unsuspecting. Oft have I found success in the pairing of contrasting yet complementing traits, she may very well have what it takes.

It's called Ugly-Cute and it's huge. Fluffy, cute cat attributes...and also a face that looks like an ass and a smell that could clear a space station. And she always looks pissed off. But she's got personality!

And I just spent a really stupid amount of money on a wardrobe and sets for her. She's going places, mark my words.

Indeed! I find myself charmed already.

I shall look forward to bearing witness to her ascent. Who knows, ere long she may very well nudge Pikachu or that Clefairy creature from the pedestal in which they cling. They are rather one note, after all, and she is naught of the sort.

That's cuz she's charming as fuck!

Ya know, I don't get the Pikachu obsession. Yeah they're cute and all, and I dig their colors, but compared to all the other Pokemon running around...what's the big deal?

Oft are people drawn to that which is safe and uncontroversial. With its nigh universal approval of "cuteness", even by those less fixated upon it, they are not likely to face criticism for such fondness.

Or, more simply put, most are simply glad to be sheep mindlessly following their shepherd upon even and predictable terrain. I would wager that most do not truly favor it as much as they claim. Perhaps your dear Princess might shatter this status quo of socially acceptable endearment.

It's not even that cute! Ya know, in the context of all the Pokemon there are.

Makes ya wonder how the popular ones got that way in the first place.

Indeed, it is rather pedestrian when it comes to aesthetics.

All it truly takes is someone with enough confidence and charisma to convince those with weaker wills of their personal bias. It takes but a pebble to start an avalanche, and much more than that to stop it.

Edited 2021-08-08 22:03 (UTC)

Sure, the right marketing strategy can do wonders, but usually trends come and go, popularity rises and falls, the beat goes on and yadda yadda yadda...don't see that as much with Pokemon popularity. Or I dunno, maybe it's regional.

Certainly. Our scope is rather limited as we are bound to these two regions, so it could very well be an interest due to the location.

Then again, trends tend to come and go for matters not so intrinsically linked as Pokémon are with the populace here. Their symbiotic relationship may very well be what keeps such alive and consequently unchanged.

Edited 2021-08-09 06:35 (UTC)

Count yourself lucky. Do you know what it's like when they decide to do that to your face?

[Because he sure does.]

Nope and I never wanna find out! Cuz I'm betting it's like getting sprayed with toxic waste.

I've only been through one of those things, but that sounds right.

Well don't put your face in a skunk's ass!

[Elidibus gives an amicable smile from behind his mask, hair tied neatly back and suit in place.]

How much further do you think she is able to send such a spray? Perhaps if trained you may be able to coax even greater distances.

[He is genuinely curious, he knows little about Stunky.]

I dunno, I'm not all that inclined to start messing around with it. That shit's toxic. Pretty sure it can destroy a dude's sense of smell.

[Oh, hey, it's that guy who he's sent booze to before. And.... that is a lot to respond to. Dimitri actually needs a moment to consider everything before he turns on his own Gear's function to reply.]

Did the pair of you always consider turning her into a... 'viral' sensation from the beginning...?

Nah, it came to us when we figured out how much she likes attention. She really loves attention.

I see. Well, I wish her the best of luck.

[That's a suitable thing to say for going... "viral", right?]

Although I do wonder, does her name lend itself to such an endeavor?

Look it's an improvement over her original name, trust me.

[...]

[Dimitri does not look entirely certain about that.]

Did you... adopt her, then?

It's a long story. Kind of? It's a long weird story! But her name was Assface McStinkbutt.

And now it's not and we're all happier for that.

Indeed.

[Well, it's not like he can argue with that, he guesses! And Pokemon do seem to take to names pretty quickly...]

I hope it does not stand in the way of her aim to become popular, then. I believe the fashion accessories will do well for that... or so I have been told.

[Hilda was super into accessories when they were in school, right...?]

Will you enter her in any future contests?

Probably! I mean if she wants to. I bet she'd wanna, though, she's an attention whore.

[Dimitri tries not to make too much of a face. Is that... okay?? To just call a beloved companion a whore? THAT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT, BUT A LOT OF STUFF IN JOHTO DOESN'T]

Well, it will be nice to see her compete, then. I have one of my own who is quite determined to one day win such a competition as well.

Where do you get her accessories...?

_{[JW is, predictably, hyped about the powerhouse "his" Princess seems to be.]}

ATTA GIRL! Damn, you gotta use her in battle, Jack!

Oh no, way too much potential for that to backfire in battle! I'm not taking that risk.

Don't be a chicken! Just stay out of her way. If you won't battler her, I will! Because Princess is a WINNER.

It's called being smart, Jay Dubs. You wanna battle her, have at it. If you can do that. Can trainers battle with somebody else's Pokemon?

Ah--hmm. I don't think you can, not 'nless we trade her back and forth, but I don't know about that.

_{[He taps his chin.]}

I seen folks use some kinda machine for that at the Pokemon Center for trades and I don't want to put my perfect baby angel through that. ESPECIALLY if it's anything like using a warp pad.

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