victory_road

Entry tags:

Open

Who: Sion, Ryner, and whoever decides to drop by
Where: Sion and Ryner's house and the Collegiate Gym
When: Now through the end of the month or so!
Summary: After spending literally years coping with his problems by avoiding them, some of Sion's longstanding issues are now biting him in the ass, hard
Rating: PG-13 because there's a reason Sion has problems and his canon has a lot of nasty stuff
Log:

[Background/Closed to Ryner]

Throughout his time, his years, in Johto, Sion had always tried to do his best to make the most of it. Raising and training Pokémon, completing the Indigo League challenge, establishing and running a gym... Whatever task or goal he set for himself, he put his all into accomplishing it. And, arguably, had enjoyed wild success at it.

But even at the best of times, it had all felt just the tiniest bit hollow. He could never shake the deep-seated belief that he was living strictly on borrowed time, a pleasant dream that could end at any moment. At which point it would all become moot, for nothing here would change what still awaits him back in Menoris, nor could decline to go back were he given the choice between leaving and staying.

So he simply made the best of it and endured. Day after day, month after month, year after year. Endured until his ability to do so slowly began to crumble. The nightmares became more frequent and harder to avoid, and throwing himself into his work as a distraction was less effective than usual. Of course, Ryner and Dusk would notice if Sion started avoiding sleeping too much, so he faked it, or lied about how early he went to bed or woke up, if he simply couldn't stand it.

Still, all this inevitably took its toll. While for the most part Sion simply acted as he always did, and only seemed perhaps just a little more strained to those who knew him well, he still physically couldn't keep this up forever. Not as an ordinary human with no particular special powers to lean on.

So one morning, when getting ready for leave for the gym early, Dusk confronted him, planting herself in front of him and refusing to move. Sion's attempts to reassure her or convince her to step aside were to no avail; instead, after a few moments of glaring, the Absol gently headbutted him, enough to knock Sion in his tired state off balance. At which point Dusk promptly sat down on his prone chest, pinning him.

"Dusk, get off..." Sion make a weak effort to dislodge the Absol, but the fact that he couldn't even do that was just proof of his utter exhaustion. And the fact that he quickly gave up trying, instead laying there listlessly, was all too telling of his mental exhaustion, as well.

And such was the scene whenever Ryner finally rose from bed and made his way downstairs...

The announcement that went out was short and to the point. An unplanned partial closure of the gym, due to one leader's incapacity. Doubtless there would be all kinds of buzz over it, but suffice it to say the leader in question was frankly in no state to care.

[At Home - Open]

Sion and Ryner's house is located a short distance south of Ecruteak, near the Collegiate Gym. Well, technically the gym is near their house, as the house was built first, but that's besides the point.

The point is, it's not hard to find, and should anyone choose to stop by, well, if they're there to help they'll doubtless be let in. Either by a rather stressed and harried-looking Ryner, or by one of the 'mons on their teams.

However you get in the door, though, Sion is... well, he's clearly not well. He frankly looks exhausted and clearly hasn't been sleeping well. But it's more than that, as the usual calm, flawless exterior he projects is also absent. Instead there's a deep weary listlessness, maybe even hopelessness, in his expression. Not to mention, he's dressed quite simply, and his hair is tied back in a low ponytail at most, if not left loose entirely. A marked contrast from how impeccable he usually keeps his appearance.

There's always at least one of his pokémon with him, usually his absol starter Dusk, sometimes another when even she needs to rest. Any visitors will be met with a simple stare rather than a greeting; apparently Sion can't even be bothered to start a conversation right now.

Ryner, of course, is also around, and can be approached and spoken to as well. Just don't mind the fact that he's more than a little frazzled.

[At the Gym - Open]

While challenges are closed, the Collegiate Gym itself is still technically open. There's the resident trainers and staff, and still some classes going on run by those, though anything Sion or Ryner directly oversaw is currently cancelled. The result is that the gym is much quieter and emptier than usual. Whether that's a good or a bad thing... well, that's probably up to you, now, isn't it?

((OOC post is here, please see that for more information and use it for questions that need both my and Ryner's player's attention! For anything Sion-specific, you can also PM me or hit me up on Discord (AC#7235) for questions or plotting. Ryner's player is available for tags, just please specify you want to thread with Ryner in the subject of your toplevel! Also, while neither will be at the gym, if you want to have interactions with NPCs let one of us know and we'll run a thread for you. Or just use the gym for your own shenanigans, that's fine too!))

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The previously agreed-upon time for the 'date' Felix won with Sion at the auction has arrived, and since he's been spending the last few weeks doing nothing but training and gym challenges anyway, he thinks he's probably in decent shape to face the first Aurora League gym leader. If anything, his focus on the match will be better than it might have been before, since before he would have asked Sylvain and the others if they wanted to come and watch...

But he's here alone instead. He goes to the gym first, of course, where the trainers there explain what's going on; Felix doesn't pay much attention to the network on a good day, let alone now, and hasn't heard about this. His first inclination is simply to leave. What business of his is any of this? He barely knows Sion.

And then the little Sylvain voice in the back of his mind says Felix, the guy might be in trouble. You're just going to walk away? I know you don't really want to do that. You're just trying to keep people at a distance again, aren't you? Go see him, Fe.

Felix sighs, rubbing his face. "All right, all right," he grumbles under his breath.

So he ends up asking the trainers at the gym where to find Sion, explaining the auction situation (without using the word 'date,' obviously), and they point him in the right direction. When he gets to the house, he knocks on the door.

"Are you in there? It's Felix. We were supposed to duel today."

Sion does not answer the door. That doesn't mean no one does, however. While there's no verbal acknowledgement, after a moment or so the door swings open to reveal an Ampharos and a Serperior. They both give their visitor an evaluating look-over, then after exchanging a glance, the Ampharos reaches for Felix's hand with the intent to lead him inside.

Should Felix go along with this, he'll find that the door opens into a high-ceilinged living area that runs the length of the small house, overlooked by a small balcony of the second floor. Along the wall to the right is a door, to which Sion's 'mons lead him. This door leads to a study or library of sorts, a number of bookshelves mostly full of books along the walls, and several comfortable-looking chairs of assorted sizes throughout the room. Sion's seated in one of these positioned near a window. There's a book in his lap that he's ostensibly reading, but he doesn't appear to be paying it much attention. He does appear to be, well, rather tired, and not really paying attention to the 'mons and guest entering the room. Both of which aren't very characteristic of him at all.

The Absol sitting by his side, however, notices, and rises to her feet. She gives Felix an inquisitive glance; he's not someone she recognizes as one of Sion's friends, but if he came all the way out here... well, surely a visit couldn't hurt.

Felix narrows his eyes suspiciously at the pair of Pokemon that open the door. He knows enough about Sion's gym to know that he's a tricky sort, a tactician like Claude and Byleth. He wouldn't put it past someone like that to have his Pokemon answer the door for some kind of trick. It doesn't help when the Ampharos reaches for his hand, which he pulls away.

"There's no need to touch me. I'll follow you."

And he does, glancing around at the house as they go along. Small and cozy, he thinks. If there were another fireplace or two, it could almost be a home plucked out of Faerghus and deposited here.

Felix enters the room with no hesitation, frowning when his eyes fall upon his apparently oblivious host.

"What's wrong with you? You look terrible."

...listen, no one ever said Felix was any good at this.

With some of Sion's team, such as the pair who answered the door, any trick is likely to be their own idea. But this is a guest their trainer clearly needs outside help, so they're behaving themselves. This time.

In any case, those two make their exit once Felix has been shown to Sion. For his part, Sion does at least react when spoken to, turning to glance at his guest.

"What isn't wrong?" There's a touch of flippancy to the remark, a ghost of his usual humor, but also a biting, self-deprecating tone. "You must be here for our match, correct? My apologies, Dusk wouldn't let me leave the house."

The Absol in question just gives him a look, as if to say you know full well why. Then she gives a questioning, almost pleading look at Felix. You can see how wrong this is, can you help?

Felix blinks at the Absol, not sure exactly what she expects him to do. He barely knows Sion. Still, he can't just leave the man here like this.

"I was. Now I'm here to ask what's going on with you, and I'm not leaving until I get a real answer."

Look, Dusk doesn't know what to do about this, otherwise she would have done it. She figures the same applies to Ryner. Which means the best possibility is to look to someone else to maybe have a means to fix her partner.

Sion, though, just gives a slight shrug to Felix's remark.

"And if there is no answer?"

"Then I'll keep asking until you pull one out of your ass. Something is obviously wrong. Look at your Pokemon. They're desperate enough to ask me for help."

He folds his arms, clearly having no plans to leave Sion alone anytime soon.

Sion doesn't immediately respond. Partly out of having trouble getting himself care right now, though probably also a little bit due to his own innate stubbornness.

But mostly, because he doesn't have an answer. Because these were always feelings he'd harbored deep down and done his best to ignore and push through anyway, and now that his usual coping methods have failed, he's at a loss.

While he's considering, Dusk hops up onto Sion's lap; apparently this isn't unusual, given how he doesn't even blink at a hundred pounds of Absol suddenly on top of him. Which probably speaks a lot to how close he normally is to his team.

"... I don't know," he says at last, truthfully. "I shouldn't be here."

That last bit can be taken multiple ways. He probably means all of them.

Felix's eyes narrow. There is something unsettlingly familiar about this behavior, and about what Sion has said, and something white-hot burns just beneath his conscious feelings as though the slightest kindling could set them on fire.

"You shouldn't be where, exactly?"

One hand idly strokes Dusk's white fur. It's a little soothing, but not anywhere near enough, not right now.

"Anywhere, really." His tone sounds, well, tired. And not just because he hasn't been sleeping well. "But there's little point in my being here, when so much still needs to be seen to in Roland."

Not the he has any expectation of surviving all that, but he's never been particularly bothered by that point.

Anywhere, really. That answer and the deadened tone in which it's given strike a spark very close to that edge of fury, but it cools quickly as Sion goes on.

"Time isn't passing there," he says, although he's pretty sure Sion knows that already and this is...something else. Something within him, not in the world he came from.

And Felix thinks he knows a fraction of what Sion might be feeling, because the longer he stays here without Sylvain, the less he feels like there's any purpose to him being here, either. What point is there to Felix doing anything in a world that doesn't have Sylvain in it? And Sion's been here for much, much longer.

"But I think I understand." He unfolds his arms. "Did something happen to remind you? Or is it simply...on your mind?"

"I'm aware."

There's a hint of sharpness in that reply; the passing of time here and not back home is part of the problem, in a way. The fact that time's stretching out far beyond what Sion had ever expected it to.

Felix's question gets a sharp, humorless laugh, however.

"I'm reminded twice every year." For some, having their powers restored on those strange weekends is doubtless a brief blessing. For Sion, however, it's an agonizing curse. "... Everything would have been over by now, one way or another."

And he, quite frankly, had neither expected nor desired to survive it.

Something sparks again at that laugh, and now it ignites enough to reach his face, too. Because he was right. He knows that tone. He knows that laugh, much too well. It's the same way Sylvain laughed when he was at his worst. At his most uncaring of what might happen to him.

He scowls, fixing Sion with a piercing glare. "Why? What happens twice every year?"

"Don't you know? It's when those 'otherworlders' who normally possess powers beyond those of the humans here have them restored for a few days, amongst other bizarre happenings."

Sion realizes Felix probably already knows this, and that that's not the question he'd been asked. But even at the best of times Sion's snarky and a tease, so the bitter, acerbic version makes itself known now. He does, however, notices Felix's glare and meets his gaze, his own expression bland and unfazed by the evident anger.

"Is it so surprising to consider that not all such powers are pleasant? And that some may come only with a price?"

Normally, he wouldn't be inclined to reveal even that much. But normally, he'd actually care a little, and right now he can't be bothered to. Though by that same token, neither can he properly, fully hide his true feelings. And so, visible if one looks under that surface-level indifference, there's pain. Deep, excruciating, soul-rending pain. Years', a lifetime's of anguish of all kinds that he's never been able to escape, even if this world has offered some temporary respite.

Felix studies Sion with a frown. He's not good at reading people or relating to them, most of the time. But a lifetime of dealing with Sylvain has made him an expert at spotting a few very specific things, and this is one of them: the careless facade that hides deep-seated suffering and self-destruction. It's so familiar that it's almost eerie; so familiar it almost makes him feel sick.

"So the weird weekends bring back your powers, and you hate them. In that case, why would you want to go back to your world? A few days a year seems preferable to all the time."

That actually earns Felix a bit of a glare.

"And have it all be for nothing?"

If he's doomed either way, Sion would much rather have it mean something. A pitifully small solace for all he's been through, but better than none at all.

A glare is good. It's something. Sometimes the only way to get Sylvain out of his nihilistic funk was to piss him off. And Felix is pretty good at pissing people off.

"It will be, if you keep wallowing in self-pity like this. What price is steep enough to abandon your friends, your team, and everyone who looked up to you as the first champion? Only a fool turns his back on those who need him most."

Yes, he means physically and mentally abandoning them in the moment. But he also means for the future - a future he seems intent on writing himself out of. Felix knows what drives Sylvain's dark moods--and Dimitri's, for that matter--but Sion is a mystery. He doesn't know enough yet to really lash out properly, and it's frustrating because the feeling comes so easily, but the words so rarely do.

And yes, he is also aware of the irony in his own advice. But that's nothing new. Too often, the advice he beats people over the head with is something he's already learned the hard way.

Sion blinks, briefly, at Felix's admonition. Then he suddenly lets out a brief, humorless laugh.

"Roland needs me. Not the denizens of a gentle world who've been misled by some cowardly liar." He's talking about himself, of course, and there's a trace of real venom in his words and tone. There are precious few things Sion's ever been able to bring himself to hate... and his own self is one of them.

"No, they'd be far better off not wasting their time bothering with me."

Even as he says that, he's fully aware of how much that statement would hurt the individuals in question. Fully aware, and fully loathing himself for it.

Armin had promised Ryner he would come and visit, so when his gym is closed next, and he's made sure Mikasa's set for the day, he travels down to Ecruteak City, several books and his old chess set packed in his bag. He doesn't know if it'll make a difference, if the books will help Sion deal with... whatever he is dealing with or if a round of chess will provide any sort of distraction. But Sion is a friend, and it is certainly worth a shot. He'd feel worse not trying than failing.

He's let in by one of the various pokemon and led to wherever Sion is at that day. And honestly, he's a little shocked when he first sees Sion. He's never looked like this in all the time Armin has been here. Still, he tries to school his expression in a kind smile as good as he can, knocking on the post of the door to let Sion know he is there.

"Hi. Mind a visitor?"

Doubtless Sion's already had a visitor or two by the time Armin gets a chance to stop by, so at least there's no particular surprise (or dismay) by now. Mostly he just gives a disinterested glance, followed by a small shrug.

"Does it matter?"

People seem to want to stop by either way; he's having some trouble bringing himself to care right now.

"I think it does. I don't want to intrude."

Armin is a private person, after all. He understands the need to be alone sometimes. And if that is what Sion is feeling right now, he doesn't want to overstep just because other people might feel that is better for him.

Armin does take a tentative step further into the room, his hand going to the flap of his messenger bag.

"I brought some books with me too, if you'd like to read them. Not-- not right now, if you don't want to. But later."

"Do what you want."

Sion seems... indifferent, mostly. Like he can't be bothered to care. Or, perhaps, that it's too difficult to.

Dusk, his absol and starter, however, very much does care. She looks over to give Armin a pleading look; her partner clearly isn't in his right mind and needs help, can you help him?

Armin looks at Sion, look at Dusk and carefully reaches out to acknowledge her pleading look with a light pat to the head.

"Then, if it is all the same, I think I'll stay."

His words are slow, a little awkward, but it is clear Sion is not himself, and while Armin isn't sure if he can pry what happened out of Sion -- if Ryner can't, what chance does he stand? -- but perhaps even just focusing on something else for a little while will help him.

So instead he finds a chair more or less across from Sion, rummaging in his bag to withdraw some books. There is his own, very favourite '20,000 leagues under the sea', a Nuzzlock Holmes book, and finally a non-fictional volume on ancient and lost civilisations (what can he say, the Water Temple had been an inspiration)

"I know you and Ryner have a lot of books already, but I wasn't sure if you had ever read any of these."

That slight awkwardness doesn't go unnoticed.... But Sion still can't really be bothered to care either way. It's just too much effort. On the other hand, that means he doesn't seem to have any problem with Armin pulling up a chair, either.

"Ryner does more reading than I."

That's... not really an answer. But to be more specific he'd actually have to take a closer look at Armin's books to see if he recognizes any of them.

Some people have a natural talent for being comforting. Armin doesn't consider himself one of those people. He's going to try, but oh boy!

"Still, you read a lot too. And I've heard you are taking a break from gym duties for a while. You'll need something to fill your time with."

Sometimes comfort isn't what's needed, anyway. Dusk is certainly doing her best at that, and she's been with Sion for years at this point, and yet that still doesn't seem to be enough.

"Dusk wouldn't let me leave the house." Speaking of the starter in question. Sion almost sounds like he's complaining, but his heart clearly isn't in it. Or anything, right now.

"She's worried about you. We're all worried about you."

Armin certainly wasn't trying to guilt Sion into anything, but it felt like something worth pointing out in his mind. Sometimes you just forgot how many people cared for you. Or at least, that had been something Armin had struggled with on occasion. Perhaps it was the same for Sion.

"Such concern would be better directed towards something deserving of it."

Obviously the fact that he's even making people worry means Sion really doesn't deserve it. People would be better off not caring about him. Or something along those lines is how his thoughts are probably going.

Ah, there is a painfully familiar sentiment. One he has felt himself at times, but also one he's had to hear Shiro make time and time again.

"I think only the person doing the worrying gets to choose what they want to be worried about. And many of us have chosen to feel that way about you. Maybe you don't think you are deserving of it right now, but that isn't necessarily how we see it." Armin tugs on the cuff of his shirt absently, his fingers needing something to occupy themselves with. "You've always helped me when I needed it, answered my questions when I had them. You've never been unkind to me or anyone I know about. And you've always been committed to your work as a gym leader and an Aurora League member. I see plenty of reasons why you are deserving of my concern right now."

There's certainly nothing Sion can refute in what Armin says. Especially since he stuck just to the factions, the actions, rather than subjective impressions or assumptions about motives.

Unfortunately, his current mindset doesn't let him properly appreciate all that.

"If you insist, then do as you wish."

His words are pretty half-hearted. Almost like he doesn't care, but also that it's just all too much effort.

He will insist, thank you very much. Whether Sion likes it or not, he's going to be cared about and worried over and there is nothing in the world he can do to stop Armin.

Armin chews his lip, weighing responses in his head.

"Sion... what happened?"

He could ask him if something happened. That might be the more polite manner, but it would also give Sion a chance to deny that anything had happened, at which point Armin would have to insist that something must have for him to be behaving like this. Perhaps it was easier to just cut to the chase.

"Nothing."

It's literally true--nothing's happened. It's been years, and he's still here, still alive. He never anticipated being in such a situation, and therefore had never truly given any thought to it.

Add to that the fact that despite outward appearances Sion's always harbored considerable self-loathing and pain and, well. Nothing happening when he'd expected it to be over by isn't something he's quite sure how to deal with.

"I-- I'm not sure if I believe that."

Just-- from Armin's point of view, Sion's behaviour is so radically different, he cannot image that coming about without something having happened.

"Not even... not even something small? Something that you might feel you should be able to handle?"

He's not entirely wrong there, just that it's something that happened a long, long time ago, not recently.

"No."

There's nothing here in Johto that makes him feel that way. Oh, Sion's certainly come to loathe those weird weekends, but at least they're predictable. And only a brief time. An uncomfortable reminder, to be sure, but still endurable. Still, now that his mind's on the subject...

"Besides, what passes for trouble here is hardly even worth mentioning."

"... maybe that is the trouble? Living peacefully can be really hard for some people to deal with, especially if they're used to fighting."

Armin hadn't struggled too much with it, but then fighting had never been part of his identity in the same way it had been for some of the people he has met here over the years. He never measured his self-worth by his ability to fight (thankfully, his self-worth was already poor enough!) but he can certainly see how making that transition would be hard for people who do have that mindset.

"Here, you just have all the time to sit and thinking and that can be tough for people."

"Hardly."

A peaceful life had been something Sion could only dream of, prior to arriving in Johto. But that didn't mean it hadn't been one of his fondest dreams.

"I've no right to sit and do nothing when matters in Roland are unfinished, however."

Though even if his sense of duty and guilt for that weren't a factor, Sion still would probably have trouble appreciating things here. Not after all he's already been through.

"I shouldn't be here."

Ryner Lute has never been a morning person.

(Not that he's ever been an afternoon person, either. Or even an evening person.)

He's been trying, these past few years. Being a co-gym leader comes with responsibilities, and those responsibilities involve being at the gym at specific times, and sometimes those times are early in the morning. So he's been making an effort to wake up at what most ordinary people would call a reasonable hour.

He still inevitably ends up waking up after Sion, though, every day.

(Something the past few days has felt... odd, about Sion. Just the tiniest bit off. But Ryner can't place what it is, and Sion's been acting more or less how he usually does. So it's probably nothing, right?)

Today is no different. It's not surprising to wake up and find that Sion is already awake. It's normal, to go through his morning routine (such as it is) with Sion already downstairs.

...What's not normal, is to go downstairs, thoughts vaguely on breakfast, to find Sion on the floor, with Dusk sitting on top of him.

"Sion?"

Sion just looks over at Ryner from his prone position, Dusk still not moving from her spot. His expression is somewhat listless, like he can't even be bothered to care all that much right now.

"Dusk won't let me up."

He sounds pretty indifferent to it. Dusk, however, is definitely giving Ryner a worried look.

Edited (belatedly found a typo XD) 2021-09-25 03:00 (UTC)

This is concerning.

It's concerning that Sion isn't actively trying to push Dusk off so he can get up. It's concerning that he's not immediately twisting this into teasing Ryner about something somehow. Honestly, it's concerning that Dusk is sitting on him in the first place.

"Are you okay?" Ryner asks as, thoughts of breakfast abandoned, he makes his way to Sion's side. "What happened? Did you trip, or something...?"

And then he starts to maybe give him a once-over, see if there's anything obviously injured that Dusk might be trying to stop Sion from moving. Even if he's pretty sure he'd have heard something... might as well start there, right?

"Dusk knocked me over."

The Absol does not look in the least remorseful about this, which suggests she both did it deliberately and believed it was necessary.

It's probably also a little telling that Sion doesn't bother answering the rest of the question. Then again, given his tired and disinterested tone, he might just have felt it was too much bother to.

Okay, but Ryner knows Sion's capabilities. He has too much situational awareness - and physical ability - to be knocked down by anything less than... well, a lot more hostility than Dusk would ever bring against him. And again, Ryner would have heard something.

So that answers whether Sion is okay. The answer is clearly no.

Ryner reaches his hand out to check Sion's forehead for a fever.

"How much sleep did you get last night, Sion?"

If he weren't laying flat on his back on the floor, thus making such things a bit awkward, Sion would shrug.

"The usual, I think?"

He's evidently not in the mood to give useful answers.

"The usual for who?"

By which he of course means, for you, for you when you're insisting on all nighters every night for weeks, or for a normal person who follows the popular wisdom of seven to nine hours. This is important to clarify.

Ryner's tone has a little bit of its usual flippancy, but not as much as it usually would, because you are Doing Him A Concern okay.

"Does it matter?"

Sion doesn't think it does. Of course, he's not really thinking highly of anything to do with himself just now, anyway.

"Yeah, it kind of does. It's a matter of, do I have to yell at you for pulling five all-nighters in a row, or are you coming down with something?"

Or is it worse than even that, as the feeling nags at Ryner's mind. Even when Sion has foregone sleep for that long in the past, he's always had more energy than this.

"Either way, if Dusk was able to push you down that easily, there's something wrong. You're taking the day off."

Whether Sion would have even answered the question becomes a moot point with Ryner's last declaration.

"... I believe Dusk was insisting on that already," he remarks. A little tiredly, but rather lacking in any feeling about it one way or another. Dusk just gives Ryner a look, both grateful that he's stepped in, and still very worried about her partner.

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Open

At Home - for Sion

In which I had to go look up my old sketch of the house's layout... XD

XD it's cool that you have one!

It's just a rough sketch to get the general idea of things, but it's handy!

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At home.

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a background thread for us, finally

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