victory_road | Arrival; [Video]

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Arrival; [Video]

The gear's feed flickers in to a rather disheveled looking redhead that clearly doesn't want to be doing this. Because goddess and all the saints, he does not want to be doing this. Asking for help is already a task. Asking for help within a brand new world he cannot even begin to comprehend? Nightmare scenario. He's clearly lost and disoriented, and there's music and a fire pony following him around. Really, the only good thing is the fire pony- ponyta- whatever.

"Okay, don't know what this is, where this is going, or who's on the other end, but I can read instructions well enough to get to this point. Hi, Sylvain here, no clue where I am besides a very unhelpful 'New Bark Town' sign a few paces back, and I found a horse on fire. A baby horse, err, or maybe a pony. So... help? Maybe? I'm not even sure what I'm asking here."

And the apparent cause of how much of a mess his red locks are becomes obvious as he sweeps a hand through it again like a nervous tick. Behind him, the camera is panned just enough for a ponyta to be seen running obviously bored laps back and forth. They're pretty clearly at the edge of town, the buildings of New Bark still somewhat visible. Sylvain didn't make it very far...

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"Embarrassing for you," Sylvain quips, like he isn't burning himself. What's a little self-deprecation between friends after all? "But hey, guess it works since I like you too."

His smile is starting to return to something proper, genuine even. Again, it's just this kind of talking with Felix, something akin to banter, that sets him at ease. It's familiar. "Thanks for sticking around with me, Fe."

Felix rolls his eyes at the self-deprecation; his feelings for Sylvain are one of the few things he doesn't get embarrassed about anymore, not after everything.

"Hmph. Don't thank me as though I'm going out of my way. ...sticking together was what we promised, remember?"

He swallows. He's getting the feeling that Sylvain isn't taking this talk of going on dates seriously enough. Does he understand what Felix is really saying, or is he just assuming they've been eating meals together more often or something?

He wants to just come out and say it. He also doesn't at all want to do that. What if Sylvain spooks and hangs up? What if he wants time away like the first time? Then he mentally kicks himself for being just as stupid about this now as he was before. What's more important, your pride or Sylvain? The answer is always the same.

"...Sylvain." His voice is softer now. "I don't just 'like' you. Last time you were here, we were...together."

He can't help a bit of red creeping up into his cheeks.

Sylvain tilts his head. His eyes narrow in a mix of confusion and suspicion. Is Felix trying to joke? Emphasis on try, because Sylvain doubts the man could joke even if he wanted to. And Sylvain's sure he'd never want to...

So that leaves-

Oh.

Oh.

Sylvain isn't sure if he blanches or blushes. His cheeks immediately heat, but his palms go cold and clamy. His whole body feels like it lurches to a stop. Nothing seems to work: not his mind, his mouth, anything.

Together?

It should be such a dream come true; Sylvain's been utterly in love with Felix since they were young teenagers. He's thought the scenario out a hundred times, too. He should be prepared for this-

Yet being on this end of the confession was never part of the plan. It was always easier to imagine himself confessing, and most certainly being shot down. Because how else could it go? Felix wasn't supposed to like him. Felix was strong and courageous, dedicated and forward. And Sylvain was none of those things. Why would he ever want-

Except that's just it. Felix wouldn't say something like that if he didn't mean it.

"I- I, um..." Where's all that smooth, silver-tongued confidence he's always relied on? Why is it suddenly so hard to spit it out? How can it fail him now when he needs it most?

"Okay." No. No, no, no-

"No, what I mean is I... I'm really happy to hear that. More than just happy, I'm elated. I know it may not seem it. I think I'm just in shock right now." Sylvain drags a hand down his face to try to knock himself out of the haze of disbelief. It seems to work. He suddenly brightens as it all hits him. Felix like likes him.

"Together. Saints, Felix, I'm over the moon- you and me. Us." Now that he has the words finally come out there's too many to string proper sentences together. Sylvain really can't win here. So he settles for probably the most genuine smile of his life.

Felix's eyes are glued to the screen; he doesn't dare to blink. While Sylvain's...thinking, or whatever it is he's doing in silence, Felix is frantically trying to come up with ways to do damage control in case this goes horribly wrong, but this isn't a battlefield and nothing is coming to mind.

So when Sylvain flushes red and starts stammering, Felix lifts his head up again and stays very still, feeling like he's aiming an arrow at a deer in the woods and waiting to see whether it will flee. And then Sylvain says: 'Okay.'

Okay? What the hell kind of response is that? This was a mistake. That was clearly an 'I'm trying to figure out how to let you down easy' response, or an 'I can't handle this' response, or...something. Something not good. Felix's face quickly falls from attentive to an oncoming storm. He doesn't even know what the words are that are about to come out of his mouth--

But then Sylvain goes on, and Felix remembers what his reaction was the first time when they eventually got this far, and--okay, so he shouldn't be surprised about the shock, he supposes, and the storm dissolves as quickly as it started. Still, he's impatient to get past this part!

Fortunately, he doesn't have long to wait. Sylvain gives him one of those smiles that's like the sun coming up, and given how the last four months of Felix's life have gone, it really does feel like the dawn that comes after the darkest night. Which is sappy as hell and he's annoyed with himself for having thought it, but only a little bit.

Mostly he's too busy trying his best not to completely lose his composure and melt into a stupid puddle of mushy goo. He feels like he's already halfway there, and he's positive whatever face he's making is ridiculous and embarrassing, but it's hard to care much when he gets to see Sylvain this happy again.

"...good." He thinks he should probably say more than that, but he has trouble with words at the best of times.

The heat on his cheeks refuses to dissipate, and his heart keeps doing this silly thing where it won't stop pitter-pattering. He actually has to lean back and take a deep breath. Except he ends up exhaling it as a giddy sound.

"Y'know, I never thought I'd get the chance to actually go out with somebody I liked. Let alone the Felix Fraldarius, mister-relationships-are-pointless-distractions himself. My best friend..." Sylvain smiles to himself.

"You gotta get here sooner, Fe. You can't tell me we get to be an item and not even be here for me to sweep you off your feet."

Now Felix's face is getting red, too, and he's aware that it's silly because he's obviously heard much more intimate and mushy things from Sylvain before, but...there's something uniquely exciting about this strange situation. Sylvain's gleeful enthusiasm is highly contagious, apparently, but it's also embarrassing to be on the receiving end of it for the first time in months. He'd almost forgotten what it was like, this feeling of...hope and contentment, that even then he wasn't always entirely sure what to do with.

He averts his eyes from the screen, even as he can't banish his small, pleased smile. "All right, that's enough of that. I'm going as fast as I can. So we'll see who's sweeping who in a few hours."

***

Felix ends up falling asleep and taking a nap for most of those hours, once the conversation meanders on from there. By the time he wakes up again, all of the side effects of warping so much are gone, and the sun is steadily sinking toward the horizon. Eventually, he recognizes the far end of Route 29 and urges Foudroyant to skim closer to the ground. His pulse is racing again, but this time it feels like the rush of adrenaline right before he charges into battle, all forward motion and certainty.

It's not hard to spot that bright mop of red hair, more brilliant than the sunset or the warmest hearthfire - at least, to Felix's eyes, and he's starting to think he's been hanging around Dimitri too long if he's thinking things like that - and before he can think much more about it, the Vikavolt is landing some ten feet away from Sylvain and Felix leaps down from its back.

He let's Felix sleep, curling up with Bonnie in the tree roots. He's got too many racing thoughts and wild emotions to sleep for himself, but watching over Felix's rest works out. It reminds him a bit of their march to the monastery for their then uncertain reunion. Taking watches from their tent out in the woods, and the quiet of the other's sleeping presence.

Sylvain ends up losing track of time. He eats a fraction of the food Dimitri ordered for him, and reads through the manuals in his bag. And before long Felix is actually here, and not just through a screen.

Sylvain waves up at him and the Vikavolt. Beside him, Bonnie rears up and prances on her hooves. The redhead ended up telling her stories about his and Felix's antics while they waited. So she seems excited to meet him and giant insect.

Not as excited as Sylvain though.

He catches Felix in a sweeping embrace after he's barely touched the ground. Sylvain debated playing it cool, just letting Felix approach. But that plan immediately vanished the second he saw him. Replaced with excitement, dragging Felix off his feet in a tight hug felt like a much better choice.

"Hey you," he gusts out against Felix's shoulder, all affection in his voice.

Felix doesn't even get five steps before those familiar arms are closing around him, and for once he has zero qualms about it - he returns the embrace eagerly, even hops up a little so he can wrap his legs around Sylvain's waist, too. He's warm and solid and real, and Felix clutches him close.

"Sylvain." It's more sigh than word, really, and it feels like months' worth of tension leaves his body all at once. He knew that he's always felt safest with Sylvain, but it's never been driven so viscerally home for him before just how strong that feeling is.

Forgetting for a moment that Sylvain doesn't remember any of their previous intimacy, Felix turns his head to bury his face in that gorgeous red hair and inhale deeply. "...hi."

Oh, Felix shouldn't be allowed to fit so perfectly against Sylvain like this. It leaves his face burning up to his ears as he realizes it, holding Felix tight. He doesn't fight the squeeze of his thighs around his waist, but struggles with where to put his hands at first. Is he allowed to hold him up? Is that too much, too soon? He hasn't any idea how far they'd gone before.

He settles for a hand at the small of Felix's back, supporting his weight a little better. The other rubs soothing circles between his shoulder blades. Keeping his legs astride to keep them both securely up, he then tilts his head to nose against Felix's neck. Warm, familiar affection washes over him. Deeper though, just like how he's daydreamed of. Maybe it'll hide the blush too.

"Mm, I know it's been a lot longer for you, but somehow I missed you too."

Felix doesn't notice Sylvain's mini-crisis over where to put his hands; if he did, he might have just moved them to hold him up himself. Instead, he's busy having his own mini-crisis because he desperately wants to kiss Sylvain, but...from the other man's perspective, it would be their first kiss, and he doesn't want to rush it like that.

He closes his eyes for a moment just to feel things. The tickling of hair against his face, the nuzzling into his neck, the strong hands on his back. He never wants to let go.

"It's the screen," he mumbles into Sylvain's hair. "Seeing you in the screen but not being able to touch you. It makes it worse."

Sylvain will probably notice at some point that Felix isn't dressed in his traveling outfit from Fodlan, but in more modern Johto-style clothes. Still, they're clearly reminiscent of his preferred style.

Not letting go is fine by Sylvain. Seems they're both making up for lost time in some way. Sylvain's years of pining all coming to fruition makes him want to hold fast to it.

If he does notice Felix's clothes, it's mostly that somehow they're still so similar. Something about that is terribly appropriate. In the same way that Felix still smells the same too. All pleasantly familiar.

"Hey, I'm gonna set us down. Not letting go," he mutters against Felix's neck, and carefully takes a knee. The other's weight is hardly an issue, but Goddess knows he's exhausted on all fronts. He never did get a chance to rest after the battle for the Imperial Palace. He utterly refuses to budge on putting Felix down still. So he ends up sitting with Felix folded into his lap, and stroking his back.

"Y'know, I really wish I'd done this sooner. Like how you fit against me."

"Okay."

Felix doesn't even move, nor does he question why Sylvain seems so content to stay like this even though he must have only just seen Felix right before he came here. He knows that eventually, they'll have to separate; Dimitri will show up at some point, and he has to let Inda out of her ball, and introduce the other Pokemon...eventually, Claude or Grant will probably call to see how things are going, or Dimitri will call them first...eventually, they'll have to break this little bubble they've made.

But eventually isn't now.

"Heh. I doubt I would have gone for it during the war." During the war, he says, as if it's over. It isn't, not for him, but he's been away from it for a year - it might as well be. "Though I suppose it's possible. After all, it only took us a week the first time around to figure this out."

A week and some dumb bullshit, but whatever.

After a minute or so, Felix does pull back from the embrace, but only far enough to shift to his knees, straddling Sylvain's thighs, and take the man's face in both hands. Sylvain looks a little different from the last time Felix saw him - his hair is shorter, his eyes are more tired, his hands more callused. Felix doesn't care, but he does wish he could fast forward to the part where Sylvain gets enough sleep for once. None of them ever got enough sleep on the march.

...dammit, now he really wants to kiss Sylvain.

"I want to kiss you. But I don't want to rush you. I can wait if you want to take it slow." He generally hates waiting for anything, but something this important is worth it.

In Sylvain's defense, he'd been sure the war was going to kill him in some horrifying way. And the last few battles to seige keeps and capitals, it's really brought home how close they were to victory, and death. Too many close calls to count, he's savoring what feels like a just reward. So he keeps Felix close as long as he'll have Sylvain.

Besides that, he's tired physically, mentally and emotionally. Sylvain's practically melted into their embrace as it is.

"Only a week, huh? Well, I suppose a big part of dating is learning the other person. Makes sense since we'd already been doing that our whole lives." Sylvain nods to his own logic, and shifts to let Felix kneel over his lap a bit easier. "It's alright, I was too scared to ask anyway. I never would have worked up the courage if I hadn't promised myself to at least try if we survived Enbarr."

Sylvain's content to just exist with Felix. The little sanctuary he finds here, he's reluctant to leave. He only reacts to Felix when the other touches his face. Sylvain offers him a lazy smile.

"Sweet of you, but I'm no blushing virgin." The lopsided smile is made all the more mischievous by the fact he cocks a brow expectantly.

"Do whatever you want with me. I'm-" he tilts his head, wanting to lean into a kiss, and feels something warm and metallic on his cheek. It almost feels like...

His gaze shifts, brows momentarily furrowing.

Well, it feels like a ring. And certainly looks like a ring. Third finger. Left hand.

A wedding ring...

Sylvain starts to feel his pulse pick up again. He looks to Felix, worry creeping into his expression.

"Felix...?"

"Apparently, everyone else figured it out long before we did. According to them." Felix makes a face. "They should have said something."

He huffs, definitely not sulking or blushing slightly in embarrassment. "Obviously." When Sylvain's expression turns mischievous, though, Felix gives him a smug smirk. "I'm well aware."

Felix starts to lean in, too, but stops when Sylvain suddenly frowns. At first he has no idea what the problem is, but he follows the other man's gaze and...

...oh, shit. He didn't even think about the ring. Fuck.

He snatches his hands back like they've been burned, somehow paling and flushing at the same time as his eyes widen and his whole body tenses up.

"I...I didn't want...ugh." He drags his hands down his face, annoyed not with Sylvain but with himself, or maybe with Arceus. He averts his eyes from Sylvain's gaze, frowning.

"I know how much you hate the idea of getting married. Especially...when it's not someone you chose. I was going to tell you, but I didn't want you to think I had any expectations."

Sylvain's stunned into silence not for the first time today. And though his mind is paralyzed, his hands still reach for Felix's. Calloused fingers are gentle on his wrists, trying to guide the ring back into his view. He stares at it, and feels foolish for being menaced by a band of metal, but he can't help it. Marriage is a dirty word. More of a prison sentence than a joyous occasion. It's always been a threat in some way. Something weaponized against the idea of his happiness.

"I don't need a ring to prove how much I care about you," he says, smoothing his thumb over the band. The reactionary part of him bares its teeth, but it feels empty. It's just that, a base reaction. He doesn't feel the usual, cynical disgust at the idea when he thinks of marriage with Felix; it's subdued, cautious. Which is the biggest difference: with Felix.

"I um- I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet," he tries to explain. "It's not that I don't love you. And Goddess knows, if I had to marry, I'd never want anyone else. But... I- I..." He's faltering now, and it makes his cheeks heat. Any poise or confidence just dissolves through his fingers when he tries to muster it up.

"I don't even know what I'm trying to say. How about I get back to you on it? I know that's a horrible thing to ask of somebody, but just give me a chance. I promise I'm not upset with you. I'm just having some conflicting feelings about the whole-" Sylvain vaguely waves his hand, "-idea? Concept? Whatever it is, I just wanna be us as we are."

Felix braces himself as though he's expecting an enemy attack, feeling his hackles rise to protect him from the fear of rejection. But even before Sylvain says a word, he's taking Felix's hand, and that has to be a good sign, right? He's not leaving, that's the important part, and he doesn't look disgusted or offended.

Now that Sylvain's getting a closer look, he can see that the ring isn't just a plain band. It's made not of gold, but of a strong, black metal, and it's embedded with small gems; some of their meanings are more obvious, like the ones that are the color of Sylvain's hair and the ones that are Gautier red. The others are some kind of purple stone that Sylvain wouldn't recognize as fragments of a Dusk Stone.

I don't need a ring, Sylvain says, and Felix would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed, but he can understand that. He can deal with it, for Sylvain's sake. It...does hurt to feel like they're stepping backwards in their relationship, that Sylvain might not want to commit to so much anymore, but he'll get over it. The important thing is being with him.

...but Sylvain keeps talking, and he says 'yet.' Felix looks up at him, eyes slightly wide, hoping he doesn't look like some silly urchin waiting for Santa to arrive on Christmas night or something. And then Sylvain says, 'it's not that I don't love you, and from his perspective they've only been together for a few hours but he's already using that word, and Felix can tell that this is sincere. Sylvain isn't humoring him, or trying to spare his feelings. He means it.

Felix keeps listening, and when Sylvain is finished, he leans forward to pull the other man into a tight hug again. "It's not horrible. It's sensible. You need time to think it over. I've thrown a lot of curveballs at you." Whoops - he's forgotten that none of the others from Fodlan have any idea what a 'curveball' is. Ah well. It doesn't occur to him that the Felix of a year ago probably wouldn't have accepted this so easily or had the words to express why he doesn't need to give Sylvain 'a chance,' because he will always have endless chances.

"I just want to be 'us,' too." He pulls back again, just enough to look Sylvain in the eye so he can show him the absolute certainty behind what he says next: "I love you, Sylvain. Ring or not."

So he doesn't know what a curveball is precisely. But the name and context clues give him enough not to question it beyond a soft snort of amusement. Which melds into a pleased sigh. His arms curl tightly around Felix in turn.

What he's most grateful for is that Felix doesn't fight him on this. It's probably the benefit of understanding exactly why Sylvain is apprehensive of marriage in general. Also the fact that apparently the Sylvain from before worked past it. In truth, it puts Sylvain himself at ease. Maybe he can't handle it now, or even fathom how, but somewhere down the line, maybe it won't make him flinch. If it makes Felix happy, Sylvain thinks it'll be worth it in the end.

Reluctant to let go, Sylvain is happy to linger close when Felix says he loves him. He hadn't exactly meant to use that word earlier, but it had slipped so naturally. Really, he's always loved Felix. He's loved him so long it feels strange to consider a time when he didn't. It just took a while to understand his feelings ran deeper and differently than only 'best friend.' Admitting it aloud to Felix himself was far easier than Sylvain imagined. Having the sentiment returned so sincerely, Felix holding his gaze and all, leaves a blooming warmth in his chest.

"Thank you," he gusts out, the relief plain in his tone and expression. He should probably say more, but he thinks Felix will understand how much it truly means to him on just that.

Sylvain brings a hand up, brushing along the line of Felix's jaw. An affectionate touch meant to coax Felix to tilt his head just so.

"I'd still like that kiss if you're offering."

Felix does understand; Sylvain didn't have to say anything at all to ensure that. He smiles and leans into Sylvain's hand. "Hmph. I'm not offering, I'm demanding."

He straightens up on his knees so he can lean down, arms still wrapped around Sylvain's neck, and kiss him. Usually, Felix kisses like he does anything else - hard and fast, almost aggressive, like a challenge. Now, though, he takes his time. It's still firm and sure, still passionate, but slow and indulgent, too. It's for both their sakes, really - this is the first time he's been able to kiss Sylvain in months and he wants it to last, dammit.

It doesn't take long for him to coax Sylvain into parting his lips so they can deepen it. If the other man doesn't care about taking it slow, then hell if Felix is going to bother. He also doesn't bother to hold back with his intimate knowledge of exactly what Sylvain likes in a kiss.

Sylvain finally finds some boldness with his hands, and settles on Felix's hips. He squeezes gently against the curve of them, thumbs rolling over the crest of bone. That's nice. Feels like he's wanted to do that for ages, even when he tried not to let himself consider it.

Speaking of things he's always wanted: Felix kissing him actually shorts out any worrying thought. Lidded eyes flutter shut, a soft sound accompanying their kiss. The exhaustion of the day melds into the slow, lazy way he just enjoys the taste and feel of him. It leaves him warm and buzzing for more, so he's eager to explore Felix's mouth with greedy intent. While his mouth is occupied, he hands tug Felix by the hips to be flush up against him. Anything to keep as little space between them as possible.

Felix doesn't need much encouragement to press close to Sylvain, and gladly. There's a part of him that wants to just forgo any more conversation and do nothing but this for the rest of the night, but there is one important question he hasn't asked yet.

So eventually, and reluctantly, he breaks the kiss with a quiet sigh, running his fingers idly through Sylvain's hair and staying pressed up against him. "I have a question. Do you want to know about the things you don't remember? I could tell you about the first time we did this, or the first time we did more than this, or how we...got engaged...but I understand if you would rather make a fresh start without feeling as though you're following in your own footsteps."

Sylvain makes a low whine in the back of his throat when Felix pulls back. His breathing comes quicker, and his hands paw at Felix's sides in question. Why stop- Oh.

Laying his head against Felix's shoulder, Sylvain has to mull it over. There's an uncomfortable option here in the fact he doesn't really want to know. At all. But those memories will always be with Felix. And they probably meant the world to him; still do. It's hard to consider anything else, and eventually he decides it's probably better not to keep torturing Felix over his silence.

"Maybe," he offers unhelpfully at first. "Just later." When he doesn't feel like an imposter that has crawled into someone's life, masquerading as their loved one.

They will, and they do, and there's unfortunately no way Sylvain will be able to avoid them completely, because both houses are littered with photos and joint possessions. And sooner or later, he has to introduce Inda, and that's going to be a whole can of worms all by itself.

But 'later' is fine. They'll have a long journey back to Olivine before Sylvain has to deal with any of that, and they can talk again about it in the air. If Sylvain were to voice his concerns more specifically, Felix would tell him that his worry makes no sense - Sylvain is Sylvain, regardless of what he remembers or doesn't, and Felix has loved him since before he really understood what this sort of love was, so it couldn't possibly ever matter.

As it is, he just nods. "All right." He runs his hands up to Sylvain's shoulders and then down his chest, where they push the man back to lie in the grass. Felix takes in the sight of him like that for a moment before he leans down to follow, claiming Sylvain's lips again.

Going down willingly, Sylvain stretches out more comfortably beneath Felix. The time the other takes to look him over, Sylvain is doing just the same. The beat of his pulse picks up, watching what remains of the light of the day catch like a halo behind Felix. He's stunning like this, isn't he?

And then Felix is kissing him again, and how can he resist after such a sight? Or at all for that matter. One hand comes up to dig into the fabric of Felix's top. Just enough to get his fingers under the hem, and setting a warm palm on the small of his back. The other cups the nape of his neck and gently squeezes. Maybe there's a possessive note there, hungry for him after years of pining. Can he really be blamed though? After such an emotional reunion that Sylvain never could have anticipated, and still feels the shadow of doubt cling to, he just wants this part to never end. No emotional baggage, no self-loathing, just how warm and right Felix feels.

"There's only one thing I have to know right now," he gusts out when he pauses to breathe. "Did I teach you how to kiss like this?"

Sylvain may call it 'possessive,' but if it is, Felix doesn't mind in the least. To him, it's grounding, comfortable, familiar. Sylvain's touch feels like home.

Panting quietly, he smirks. "No. Dorothea did. But you taught me how to kiss you." There's a pause, as his smirk softens into something pleased and warm. "And you were the first one I ever slept with."

"Dorothea?" Oh, that makes him brighten up. He's practically beaming, and claps Felix's back firmly like the proud wingman he is. "Atta boy, Fe! I always knew you could land a real catch!"

As pleased as he is, he does feel his heart pick up a beat. So, he got to be Felix's first after all; something he'd quietly resigned to be without a long time ago. Just like most of what he'd imagined he could ever have with Felix. But that in particular. That means more to him than most things.

"Mm, good. I'm glad it got to be with someone who cares a lot about you." It's too strange to say 'with me.' Not with something like that.

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