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[Another year in Johto a month ago...and now, another birthday. Which is a strange thing to think about. Up until a few years ago, he hadn't even known the date of his own birth, hadn't even thought to wonder what it was. Back in Amestris, a homunculus' birth isn't something that anybody really wants to remember or celebrate, after all. But here? People have found it out, wheedled it out of him...people have remembered it, asked after it, thought that the fact that Envy was born was something important.]

[And for two years now, he's awkwardly accepted the couple of gifts and the well wishes he's gotten, but it had still felt strange to even acknowledge. But now, the third year he's known about the day...it feels a little more natural. He actually remembers what day it is without being reminded, and if any of his patched together little family brings it up, or does something for the occasion?]

[Well, maybe this year he'll react a little less like a cat who's just encountered a vacuum cleaner for the first time.]

[Text]

Hey, I've got a question for anyone who feels like answering. When you do things for somebody's birthday, what is it that you're celebrating about them? Is it that they managed to survive an extra year or that they were born in the first place or just because parties are fun or what?

What is it about a birthday that makes it something important?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

its usually a biger d

g

bigger deal sorry me an meatloaf are on a ride

bigger deal for kids but its still pretty normal for people to wish you a happy birthday even if you're 100

ha, what about almost 400?

they would need a really big cake for all those candles

it sort of becomes a big deal again when the numbers get really crazy

because living that long is pretty hard

I think the house would burn down if there were four hundred candles on one cake

although there might actually be four hundred candles in the house right now so maybe the whole house can just count by extension

and tell me about it. hard is an understatement.

woah are you really 400 years old??

i am sorry sir i didnt mean to be disrespectul

rest

re

RUDE

you don't have to start calling me sir i'm not an accountant

but yeah I'm 400 give or take a decade

oh ok

my old master liked it when i called her maam so idk

[...HOLD UP.]

wait. your master?

iTS NOT A SEX THING!!!!

IM A VAMPIRE!

I didn't say it was a sex thing!

I don't know anything about vampires except they drink blood and have an accent

sorry sorry i just wanted to make sure that was clear

and i guess i do drink blood and have an accent

but i also have a master

shes not the one who made me but she was the one who kept me and i guess if she didnt kill me when she really really wanted to ill call her maam

i think she is only 200 tho

[That description sets off a WHOLE HOST of alarm pings in Envy's head. Created inhuman monster? Check. Found by some ancient lady who wants to be someone's master? Check. "Didn't kill me when she could've" as leverage for good behavior? Check and check.]

[He's not entirely sure he wants to open up that can of worms right here and now in public text; he may have talked to Maurice now and then, but not on the level of wanting to get very far into something that personal. But you can bet he won't forget it any time soon.]

yeah I've heard your accent, the one I was told about has a whole lot more v's in it than yours though.

anyway you don't have to call me sir, Envy works just fine

oh!! i know what you're talking about

zey talk like this vor vaterver vreason!

Ok Envy! Is that why you dyed your hair green?

yeah! like that! that's what I've heard of

and actually yeah, got me there. it seemed right.

but it's not really dye, I just used to be a shapeshifter

so this is actually technically a natural color now that I'm not anymore. it grows green by itself

[Which is HELLA CONVENIENT.]

you were a shapeshifter? thats cool. what could you be? i could be a dog and a bat though im not sure theres really much point to it if you cant turn into a jet

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