victory_road

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[By now, you've probably seen it. It started on a teenager's Instantlergram, and then migrated over to Chatter, Timbr, and you might have even seen a video or two on your For You Page on Joltiktok about it. The Daily Dottler ran an article about it sourced by no one.

About what? About how the hot new band Chicken Choice Judy was recently "caught in the wild" at a child's birthday party dressed head to toe as giant torchics.

And the internet, as it often does, has been having a field day with it:

"guess there's one entertaining thing at my brother's dumb party. #chickenchoicejudy #torchic #canileavenow" - Original Poster MimiKissyKyuutie

"cake is very bad for torchics this is completely irresponsible" - Chatter user badbreedertipsonly, famed meme account.

"what the heck is a chicken anyway" - Timbr user newgearhoothootdis, followed by hundreds of replies of increasingly bad guesses.

"this isn't news, call me when the torchics kiss" - Joltiktok user luvdisco, with a filter that adds sparkles to the picture and a music clip that seems to be Celine Brionne's My Heart Ball Will Go On played badly on a Pokéflute.

And so on and so forth. So it probably isn't a surprise when Ryan pops up after a day or so of this.]

hey so

i get how things go on the internet but how do you take them off

like forever

is just deleting the whole internet an option, or...?

you know, for no reason whatsoever.

[Except you know exactly what reason it's for. Because everyone in all of Johto and Kanto has seen it somewhere recently.]

[ooc: Thank you to

knuxiechan, who Joey commissioned this art from!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...the bad flute one was like, a little funny.

[Which explains the very startled nervous laughter when he first saw it! That and nothing else!!!]

but not THAT funny! it's just two dudes in torchic costumes, what the hell is everyone's problem?!

Why was *that* one funny? What's so funny about playing an instrument badly?

[Definitely not an ugly shade of red while he remembers the caption for that one, nope.]

I dunno I just wasn't expecting THAT to be the music, I guess? one of those you think it's gonna be one thing and it's something else things.

[Once again, they are in the same room. Ryan can see him for sure. Honestly, his own face is a little pink too.]

Actually I changed my mind it sucks overexplaining a joke makes it less funny.]

[Min-Gi chances a glance at Ryan before pointedly fixing his eyes back on his Gear.]

You don't have to say it sucks just because I don't like it. Our humour's just different.

[By which he means his is superior, obviously.]

[Ryan can almost feel the look, but he doesn't look back. Sometimes he does, when he can feel Min looking his way, but not right now. He doesn't want to know how he's being judged for that backpedaling.]

it's not really that

i just don't want any of it to be funny

then it feels like they have a point, y'know?

[And that sucks. Ryan's usually pretty good at laughing things off too, but he knows what conversation was attached to that picture, and there's a knot of feelings about this in his chest that he doesn't want to deal with.]

They don't have a point. They're not even talking about us like we're real people. I think some of them might've even forgot that we are.

[Otherwise he just can't fathom why they feel like it's okay to make some of the comments they have about them. Especially when he can see so clearly the seriousness of their conversation in their expression.

Why can't anyone else?]

I guess

part of that's a fame thing though, isn't it? like how many times have we talked about bands like we know them? But...we're not actually famous yet, so it's SUPER weird.

[If it was something happening after they had really made it big, after they had really become rockstars, it would feel like something that comes with the territory. But it's hard to imagine any of this happening from just...some stuff people posted on a computer? That's nuts. How does that even happen?]

[He writes, deletes, and rewrites a response to Ryan several times over. Occasionally he chances an uncertain glance over at him when he thinks he isn't looking, but some of the stuff that's been said about them is not stuff he wants to acknowledge in person. And not just because he's been in a queue to speak to someone at Instantlergram for almost an hour now and surely someone's got to answer his call soon. Though that definitely doesn't help. He's always hated making conversation with someone else while he's on the phone, no matter how long he gets left on hold.

Eventually, though, he reaches a point where that seems like the lesser evil. He's still pretending to be looking at his Gear though.]

We aren't making fun of them though. Or saying that they're going to... [Going to what, Min-Gi?] You know.

[From his expression you'd think he was talking about something a lot more graphic than "call me when the torchics kiss".]

[When it gets said out loud, Ryan lets out a soft sigh and looks away from his Gear and up toward the ceiling.]

Yeah, I guess not. Or like-- if we did it was just us, not like...something we put out into the whole world? Like there's a difference between two people gossiping about whether Bowie and Mick Jagger had an affair and writing an op-ed about it for everyone to read.

[One feels like an invasion of privacy and the other is just speculation about famous people, or at least that's how Ryan is rationalizing it in his head.]

[Min goes quiet again, willing someone to answer the phone so he has an excuse to bail on the conversation. Of course, there's nothing but the same tinny sound of muzac there's been since he first dialed the number he'd eventually found.]

Maybe that was crappy too. I mean, we only know about those kinds of rumours because op-eds told us about them in the first place.

Fair.

[And at first, it seems like Ryan is going to leave it at that. That last word hangs uncomfortably in the air. It feels different though, and Ryan is trying to put his finger on why.

Then it hits him.]

...It never seemed to bother them though? I mean, not until that Rolling Stone interview-- [There's just a little venom in that aside, but he's not going to rehash all of his feelings about that right now.] --but like. I dunno, it didn't feel like a bad thing at the time? It felt like they were proud of it.

[He'd be relieved, but Min-Gi can tell Ryan's still thinking about it. Whether or not he'll say anything he isn't certain, but he can tell he hasn't let it go just yet. He hopes that he will, but he's unsurprised when he speaks up yet again. Expecting it doesn't do much to help him. His throat still feels tight, and their room's become uncomfortably warm.

He drops the phone abruptly back on the receiver, wincing at how loud the sound is. There'd still been no sign of any answer, and even if someone had picked up he knows there'd be no way he'd know what to say to them now. His carefully prepared speech for the customer service rep has gone from his mind completely. He's going to have to start it over from scratch.]

I don't think there's anyone there.

[Min-Gi's voice is strained, and it's probably clear to Ryan he's not comfortable with the topic. "This is why he doesn't talk to you," his mind helpfully supplies, and it feels like any progress they made at the party is already undone.

If he's honest, he hadn't minded the article Ryan's talking about. There's little doubt in his mind which one he means. Bowie had been so young when he'd started making claims about his sexuality. At least, that's how he'd put it. It had given his teenage self hope. If Bowie could change, then why couldn't he? He has less hope about that now, even if he's still younger now than Bowie had been in the early 70s. Change isn't something that's ever come easily to Min-Gi, and that aside he's starting to think maybe some things just can't be changed.

Not that he's about to voice any of that to Ryan, of course.]

Shouldn't it have bothered them? [He's immediately and painfully aware of how that came out, and he stumbles to clarify.] Th-the cheating. If it's true. Not the other thing...

[The other thing that he still can't bring himself to say out loud, apparently.]

[Ryan's reaction hadn't been a secret at all, though he hadn't openly specified what the actual problem was. He spent the last couple of years calling Bowie a sellout, and swearing up and down that Just Dance was the worst album Bowie ever put out.

But Ryan has known who he is for most of his life. Since puberty at least. And Bowie was someone who always seemed to know exactly who he was too, someone who wasn't afraid to be himself in a world that wasn't always okay with it.

So when Bowie said coming out as bisexual was the biggest mistake of his life? Ryan was heartbroken.

Ryan jumps a little when the receiver slams, but recovers easily enough. As for the cheating...]

I mean...maybe everyone knew? [Ryan shrugs.] They wouldn't be the first rock stars to sleep around. That wasn't exactly the scandalous part, man.

[But something feels off here, more so than he would have guessed. He tilts his head and looks at Min-Gi.]

Are...you okay?

Yeah, but shouldn't it have been? I know everyone thinks it comes with the territory, but it shouldn't, right?

[He's trying very hard to sell that as being his one and only problem here. He might have more success if Ryan hadn't known him literally his entire life. Or at the very least if he didn't look at him like that.]

Y-yeah. I just don't know how to talk about that stuff. [There's a pause, then he offers Ryan an apologetic look.] Sorry.

[Ryan...doesn't say anything at first.

He lets the thought he's having really sink in, as if that might allow it to fall directly through him and out his feet instead of getting tangled in his heart on the way down. Min can probably tell once again that Ryan's thinking, but his face is unreadable.

It shouldn't come with the territory, but even Ryan knows that isn't what this conversation is really about. Pushing the issue feels...cruel. Something about that apology does too, but that isn't fair. He can't exactly hold that against Min.

What he eventually says is subdued, but to the point.]

We need to call Joltiktok. ...I'll do it, if you want.

[Instantlergram is where it started, but Joltiktok is where people started joking about their sexuality, and that's likely the most damaging one for Min specifically. He can't even say the words out loud.]

[Min stares, waiting for his response. He's not sure what he expects, but he knows there's little chance of it going down well. He's being a jerk, and Ryan has every right to be mad at him when he can't even explain what the real problem is. He's steeled for some sort of outburst, whether it be one of anger or hurt.

What he doesn't anticipate is... that. He blinks owlishly, not able to process what Ryan's talking about at first.]

Wha--?

[He's talking about the websites? Now? They do need to talk to them, and Joltiktok is one he'd been dreading especially, but he's not going to call them this second.

Ryan's tone is flat enough to tell him everything he needs to know. Min's hurt him, and now he's being shut out. Maybe deservedly, but he can't just let it happen. He can't let him brush past this under the impression Min thinks there's anything wrong with who he is.]

Ryan... You know you're the most important person in my life, right? I care about you. No matter what.

[Nope. This time, Ryan is doubling down. He hasn't just shut Min-Gi out; he's locking the door behind him.]

I care about you too. I'm calling Joltiktok.

[The words are distant and automatic. He does care, it isn't a lie. He's just trying really, really hard not to let Min turn this around on him. Really, it isn't about him. It's about Min-Gi and about how he's being perceived in all of this gossip.

He picks up his Gear again and thumbs through Joltiktok's website, to look for a phone number to try and call. ...Except, there is no phone number. His efforts are going to be for absolutely nothing.]

Ugh, they have to have a number somewhere...

Edited 2023-01-27 21:13 (UTC)

Ryan!

[That pisses him off a bit, even if he does deserve it. He'd been so anxious to get hold of the websites when reporting the images hadn't solved the problem, but now he's more worried about Ryan than what the internet thinks of him. He should never had said anything. Never have let the topic come up. He knew he couldn't handle that conversation, and yet he'd broken the unspoken rule that had existed between them for years.

Stupid.

He stands, storming over to Ryan to try and remove the Gear forcibly from his hands. It's a pointless endeavour if he really does want to keep hold of it, but he's not going to let him ignore him when he clearly isn't okay.]

Put it down. We're still talking.

What!

[Cool, they're fighting now. That's totally how Ryan wanted this to go.

Min grabs for the PokéGear and two of them have a little tug-o-war over it for a moment until Ryan finally pulls it out of Min's grip. Obviously he can't actually use it while Min is trying to take it from him, so he does the next best thing he can think of with it - he shuts it, tucks it underneath him, and sits on it. It's not like Min's going to touch another guy's butt to get it.]

What is your problem?! I was getting the number so I could take care of it. What else is there to talk about?

[The fact that he's being weird about this now, probably, but he's sure as hell not going to bring it up.]

[Min's not going to touch anyone's butt to take something from them. That's not a sexuality thing. That's just common decency. As it happens, that's not a problem. As long as he has Ryan's attention it doesn't matter where the PokéGear is.

He sits next to him, expression still irritated as he leans in to hug him.]

I love you. That's what there is to talk about.

[Min-Gi's grip is arguably too tight, but he doesn't want him worming his way out of his arms and between the two of them Min does not have the advantage in strength. He's not taking any chances.]

You're my best friend, Ryan. I don't care if you're bisexual... or gay? [His voice goes up a couple of pitches there, but it's more uncertainty of his identity than having to use the words themselves. He thinks Ryan's bisexual? He's talked about having girlfriends while he was gone, so that's probably right. ...Right?] I'm sorry I upset you.

Edited 2023-01-27 22:30 (UTC)

[It's a good instinct, because Ryan was absolutely prepared to try and squirm away - not so much because he doesn't want to be hugged exactly, but because he's expecting this to be some ploy to try and get his Gear away from him. Is he going to try and lift him up so he can grab it without getting gay cooties?!

But that's not what happens.

Min says I love you and Ryan stills. He doesn't dare so much as breathe.

His heart swells but his brain screams that this is obviously too good to be true. Min couldn't even say the word gay two minutes ago, and now he's supposed to believe he's trying to sweep him off of his feet?! He stops trying to squirm away, but he's glad that Min can't see his face this way. He must look so baffled and hopeful and flustered all at once.

Then, the punch line.

...It hurts more than he expected, somehow.]

I...

[He can't. He can't, how is he supposed to do this?!]

I...love you too, man. [He hopes that sounds enough like himself, and not as tiny and devastated as he feels. Haha, yep! Love you too! Like bros!] Look, you didn't upset me. It's fine. I just...want to fix it for you, that's all. The stupid Joltiktok thing.

[Because it's not about him. It's not about him, or how he feels, or how Min-Gi loves him but definitely not like that and how that makes him want to curl up in a ball under a blanket and disappear.]

It's not saying anything that isn't true about me, but it's slandering you and that sucks.

[Because Min is not gay or bi or anything on that spectrum. But it's fine that Ryan is, apparently!]

[At this point Min-Gi's starting to feel hurt. Ryan's still being so weird, and that stings when he's trying his best to make him feel better. He's gone all the way out of his comfort zone, and it's still not good enough.

Something is obviously wrong, but he can't for the life of him work out what it could be. It's not the stupid Joltiktok thing, he's convinced of that much. He frowns, relaxing his grip on him but not letting him go just yet. Hugging him isn't helping, but... what else can he do?]

Forget Joltiktok. You don't have to fix anything for me, okay? I'll... I'll deal with it.

[He really doesn't want to, but it doesn't seem fair to let that responsibility fall to Ryan when he's clearly still so bothered about something. Does he still think he has a problem with him...? He can't, right? There's no way Min could have been more clear.

He draws back with some reluctance, looking him over with hurt bewilderment.]

Did I say something wrong? I told you... I don't know how to talk about this stuff, but at least give me a chance to make it up to you.

You shouldn't have to deal with it. I can deal with it. I mean, no one would have even thought you were if you weren't next to me, so...let me handle it.

[It's basically all his fault that Min was made uncomfortable about gay things in the first place. He can make the call and deal with the fall out.

Min pulls away and Ryan actually resists it at first - maybe hugging wasn't helping, but hugging was keeping his face hidden and he knows Min's going to try and look at him and pinpoint exactly what's wrong. When they first part, he looks more at the floor than Min and seems...sheepish, almost. Guilty. He doesn't like how any of this feels and even more than that he hates that he's dragging Min down with him.

He sounds so hurt though. Ryan finally makes himself look his way and answer him.]

Min-Gi...you don't have to make it up to me. You didn't...

[It's the truth, but he feels like just saying it isn't enough for Min-Gi to believe him.

So with just a beat of hesitation, Ryan reaches out and pulls Min back into that hug - a more gentle version. He buries his face in Min's shoulder, but Min will still be able to hear him.

And if Min can say it platonically and not be weird about it then so can he.]

...I love you too. You didn't do anything wrong, I promise.

That's not on you, man. I shouldn't care what people think. I don't think it's even meant to be an insult in this world? Not that it should be anyway!

[But that doesn't stop it feeling like one. If the internet had existed in the 80s, both he and Ryan know how a post like that would most likely have been intended.

He holds Ryan's gaze like a frightened rabbit, able to anticipate what he's going to say now, but not sure if he means it or if he's just trying to shrug him off again.

Then Ryan pulls him back into the hug, and suddenly Min realises he hadn't quite guessed everything he had to say after all. Between the gentleness of his embrace and the softer, more sincere "I love you" he can't do anything but stay there in a stunned silence. His breath stutters, and he can feel his cheeks turning pink. He's glad Ryan can't see him right now, but he's very aware that he can probably feel him freezing up.

Not wanting to risk any fresh misunderstandings he hastily returns the embrace, sniffling slightly as a few unwelcome tears prick at his eyes. He's not unhappy, though there's a wistfulness for what can never be somewhere that he tries to push down. Min's just never been good at holding back his emotions, and it's a relief to get more genuine reassurance he hasn't done anything wrong.]

It seems like it's safer here. If you did want to be more open.

[Not that Ryan needs his permission, but it doesn't seem fair that he has to feel concerned about how Min's perceived just because they're so visibly connected. Especially with the increased attention on their band over the past few weeks. It's not Ryan's fault that he's been ready for years while Min-Gi can still barely admit to himself who he really is. He shouldn't be letting his own insecurities hold Ryan back.]

[Ryan can feel Min tense in his arms, but he's trying not to think about it. Maybe it's selfish, but he's taking this hug for himself, saying words he wants to say with the safety of knowing they won't be interpreted as the whole truth. He can say he loves Min the way that he means it, without having to look Min in the face and act like it's just as friends.

He wasn't sure he expected a hug back this time, but soon Min's arms are around him too. For an extra second, Ryan can keep pretending it's something more than it is. He doesn't have to look Min's way and see if he's uncomfortable. He can just...have this, for a second.

And it helps. It doesn't make that knot in his chest go away entirely, but it untangles it a little. It relieves some of the pressure.]

I'll, uh. I'll...keep that in mind.

[He sounds a little better, but being in or out of the closet was never really the problem here. Really, it was suddenly having to confront how Min feels about it that dragged up all this old shit he was hoping he would never have to actually think about in depth. At the end of the day, Ryan is himself more than anything and he's pretty sure his sexuality has always been an open secret.]

...It does seem safer though, for sure.

[It's a softer tone that comes with Experience. He has to admit, it's been really nice to not have to think about even a fraction of the things he would have to consider at home.]

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action; just assume Min's going to be weird here for a while probably

action; Min is always weird :V

action; rude! >B[

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