video; backdated to the magnet event

[singlespacedad]

[A video clicks on, showing the bulbous face of a Capsakid. She’s staring directly into the communicator, then grins widely when she’s sure it’s on. She holds the communicator out at arm’s length—her stubby little arms keep most of her face in the frame, but never mind that—to show what’s going on behind her.]

[It’s a Sableye, crouched under a small table in a hallway. The Sableye is looking around furtively, and holding something in her paws. When she moves them, a Fire Stone glints between her fingers.]

[The Capsakid points at the Fire Stone, then chatters something into the communicator. From the glint in her beady little eyes, it’s clear she knows about that Fire Stone, and she’s gonna get it.]

[She’s Spicy Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass.]

[Spicy starts creeping down the hallway, keeping the communicator held up so her adoring fans can watch, but moving carefully so the Sableye doesn’t see her. Fortunately for Spicy’s budding Starrytube career, the Sableye is way too interested in her shiny snack to notice the impending chaos.]

[Spicy gets within a step or two, close enough that she could touch the Sableye’s back with one leafy stub, before grinning again. She takes a step back, gathers herself, and with a shriek, pounces.]

[The camera picks up what it can in the ensuing chaos, but it’s all shaky found footage from here on out. The Sableye yelps, there’s a bright flash of evolution light, followed by Spicy running down the hall and cackling. Is she taller now? The angle on the camera is different.]

[The Sableye takes off after her—her snack! Her delicious Fire Stone snack!—and Spicy runs into the kitchen. She divebombs the Durant that’s been living under the table for the last month and scrambles onto his back. The Durant, shocked and appalled out of his lethargy, knocks over a chair as he gallops out from under the table.]

[With the Sableye still in pursuit, Spicy steers the Durant into the living room. There’s a quick glimpse of the couch, and a flash of light off Mando’s armour as he sits up straight to see what’s going on. There’s someone else on the couch with him, who lifts his fashionable-coiffed head off Mando’s shoulder to see what’s going on. Mando, recognizing his problem child, lunges for Spicy and his communicator, but he’s somehow unable to disentangle himself from whoever he’s been canoodling with, and they both land on the floor with a crash and a puff of purple glitter.]

[Spicy roars with laughter and takes a victory lap around the coffee table. The camera catches a shot of Mando reaching for her, and if a helmet ever looked pissed, this helmet is pissed.]

SPICY!

[The video feed cuts out. Please like and subscribe.]

Comments

[singlespacedad]

[Shadowmaru isn't the only one getting flustered by this! Mando hadn't expected them to be rolling around on the floor together quite this soon, nor be physically attached by some weird magnet thing. It's not the worst thing that could have happened--in his opinion--but it's becoming more and more clear that Shadowmaru was not prepared for this.]

Hey.

[He says it very softly, and reaches up with his free hand to brush some of Shadowmaru's hair out of his face.]

It's okay. I know you're tough. I don't want my armour jabbing you, that's all.

[sassymaru]

[Oh, well that's - that's actually quite nice. The touch. His head sort of tilts into it again, without realizing. Deep breaths. The flush starts to slowly fade out of his cheekbones.]

Ah... yes. That's all.

[Funny how easy he's mollified by that simple statement. He's quiet a bit longer, just looking down at Mando.]

... This is going to make quite a few things very awkward very quickly.

[singlespacedad]

[Mando is only beginning to realise the great power he has at his fingertips. Who even knew that light, gentle touches could calm people down? And what about if he takes off his gloves? What then?]

[No single man should be this powerful.]

We'll have to figure a few things out.

[Using the bathroom is going to be... interesting.]

I think it's my arm that's stuck to you. Can you roll over and lay on your back without taking me with you?

[sassymaru]

[Shocking, isn't it? Especially when the person you are affecting can have some ... canine tendencies. Pets (or touches) are good.]

At least we know you can assist with my hair routine...

[We're not talking about other bathroom activities. Like showering.]

Hm. Let me see... [Some part of him is a bit loathe to crawl off Mando, but he obliges, anyway. Sure enough it seems like it's just the arm sticking.]

[singlespacedad]

You've got both your hands free to do your hair.

[Although Mando wouldn't put it past Shadowmaru to have a secret, extra special routine that involves a necessary third hand...]

Yeah, okay. It's just the one arm.

[Mando flops over onto his side, so he's facing Shadowmaru but not on top of him again.]

Want to try getting up and going back to the couch? Or we can stay here.

[sassymaru]

I won't be able to turn properly without twisting you all around.

[Instead of a secret third routine, he just has to pretzel himself occasionally. Which is fine, because he's bendy.]

As comfortable as your floor has become, it's likely best we figure out how to move about.

[The sooner the better...]

[singlespacedad]

[Being able to pretzel on command isn't something Mando gets. He is... look, Mandalorians practice cardio and strength-building, okay, they don't do flexibility! He's also old, and whatever limited flexibility he might once have had is fading into the distance.]

Are you sure?

[Just going to teasingly drop his free arm across Shadowmaru's chest and cuddle in.]

Doesn't seem so bad down here.

[MANDO NO, what if your other arm gets stuck too?!]

[sassymaru]

[He's all limbs and wry energy. Pretzels are part of transforming. Shadowmaru nods - yes, he's sure. Besides, he'll get glitter all over the carpet, and - ]

[Oh.]

[Uh.]

[Shadowmaru.exe has stopped functioning. His brain has stopped working entirely.]

Uh. I ... suppose not.

[singlespacedad]

[If Mando could transform, he'd turn into a semi, Optimus Prime style. Except it would be much more laboured and probably include some swearing instead of iconic swwsh-swwsh-CHING noises.]

[Mando was teasing before, but when Shadowmaru freezes, he leans back. Okay, might have pushed that too far. He takes his free arm back and pats awkwardly at Shadowmaru's shoulder.]

I think if I rolled back on my back and we both sat up at the same time, we could get up.

[sassymaru]

[That would actually be hilarious. For anyone who wasn't easily scandalized.]

[He settles - quickly. The closeness on the couch was fine, easy. Apparently he'll have to work his way up to more. How strange...]

I agree. I'm ready when you are.

[singlespacedad]

[It's kind of cute, really, how flustered Shadowmaru gets. Robots in his world clearly don't have robust dating lives. Not like Mando has either, but he's gotten down across the galaxy from time to time.]

All right. Just a minute.

[Mando gets his free elbow braced underneath himself, and bends his knees so he can use his legs too. Getting up gets progressively harder as you age, he's discovering.]

On three. One, two, three.

[And he'll attempt to push himself up to a seated position.]

[sassymaru]

[On three... it's. Sort of like one of those videos of a "glitch in the matrix". One moment Shadowmaru is lying down, the next, he's flipped himself into a seated position with minimal effort.]

[He wasn't kidding about the bendy pretzel status.]

[Seriously.]

Do you need assistance?

[singlespacedad]

[How did he]

[Mando makes it to a sitting position, but not nearly as easily or as gracefully as Shadowmaru does. He's not completely out of shape, but he can't glitch reality like that and just appear sitting up.]

[Not gonna lie, either: having his arm attached to a human spring definitely helped.]

I'm fine.

How old are you, Shadowmaru?

[sassymaru]

Mm, a difficult question to answer.

[He's not being cagey, for once. It's just honestly hard to answer.]

A few years...? Three, maybe four? Perhaps five, at most. I have been in this world longer than I was my own.

[singlespacedad]

[oh god he's robbing the cradle]

[Except not really. Shadowmaru is clearly an adult, and as Mando knows from his own world, different species and groups age at different rates. Grogu is older than Mando and still essentially a toddler.]

Right.

[Let's try this again.]

But how old does your body, here, feel?

[sassymaru]

[That earns a thoughtful pause. How old does he feel? Not very, he doesn't think. But not terribly young, either.]

I believe the term is... young adult?

Is that more helpful?

[singlespacedad]

So like early twenties?

[How do they keep getting into these kinds of discussions?]

I am... older than that.

[Be gentle with his frail old man body, pal.]

[sassymaru]

I believe so.

[He tilts his head, curiously.]

Is that a bad thing?

[singlespacedad]

No.

[Mando sighs. Damn, this is hard to admit!]

You might need to give me more time to do things, that's all.

[He gets his legs underneath himself so they can stand up.]

Stand on three?

[sassymaru]

Oh. Very well.

[It doesn't seem to make sense. There's still a "LOADING" circle in his expression (metaphorically), but if Mando says so, then? Very well.]

On three, it is.

[He'll just brace himself and wait for the count.]

[singlespacedad]

[Yeah yeah yeah, the youths always think old people are lying about things change as you age. Just you wait, youths! Time comes for us all! Even robots!]

[Mando counts off to three and then valiantly hauls himself up to a standing position. It's not as dramatic or difficult as it could be; honestly, he's in damn good shape for someone in early middle age. It's only when compared to a bendy former robot who has apparently only put between three to five years of age on his body that Mando starts to look very human and show his age.]

Okay.

[Congratulations, they've managed to stand up. Mando's arm is still stuck around Shadowmaru's shoulders.]

Now what? Back to the couch?

[sassymaru]

Hah!

[Once they're up, Shadowmaru is striking a victory pose. As best one can while attached to their date-partner. Frankly, he doesn't see anything wrong with how Mando moves. Nothing looks strange to him. Or injured.]

[Maybe Mando is exaggerating.]

That would be a good place to form a plan, I'd think.

[singlespacedad]

[He's probably making a bigger deal of this than he should. Mando has just never been with someone as young and spry as Shadowmaru when he wasn't young and spry himself.]

[The victory pose makes Mando laugh and shake his head, even though it pulls his attached arm up a little.]

I agree. Let's go.

[Shuffle shuffle shuffle, sit down on three again. Mando settles back onto the cushions, back where they started.]

Maybe we should just stay on the couch until this passes through.

[sassymaru]

[Mando has a very good laugh. Shadowmaru shoots him a grin - flashing a bit too many teeth. One might call it... Wolfish.]

[Doesn't matter, he likes that laugh.]

How long do you think it might take?

[Not that he's entirely complaining. Sitting comfortably together like this is something he can absolutely handle.]

[singlespacedad]

[Shadowmaru is one of the lucky few who have actually heard Mando laugh. It's weird, how living in a place where you're not constantly on the move and battling for your life and safety can make a person more jovial.]

Hard to say.

[Regardless, this is far more comfortable, and Mando starts idly playing with Shadowmaru's hair.]

These things seem to clear up after a few hours, most of the time.