victory_road | So you want to be a Pokemon Master?

Entry tags:

So you want to be a Pokemon Master?

Who: ANYONE AND EVERYONE
Where: ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE
When: November 25 - 27
Summary: GET YOUR BUTTS IN HERE AND HAVE A GOOD TIME
Rating: BUT PLEASE PUT APPROPRIATE WARNINGS IF ANYTHING COMES UP
Log:

Everything's ordinary, and then, all of a sudden, it isn't. Oops~! Enjoy all the weird new Pokemon roaming about, and have a good time! Any and all are welcome to join in the glitch-ridden festivities!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I could ask you the same question. I've seen Pokemon that can mimic people, but, the talking is new...and I can't say I'm fond of something going around wearing my goddamn face. ...Even if you did do a decent job at guessing what I looked like before I became a goddamn pirate.

[ This must look very intimidating, or, it would, if her huge pink Pokemon didn't pop out to give the friendliest of hellos... ]

Mein Gott, Chansey, could you not ruin the moment?

[Asuka shoots the giant egg-thing a Look herself, then thinks the better of it.]

Sorry, whoever you are, but this is the original face of beauty, grace, and punching aliens from space. At least your animal-thing knows how to be polite.

[Karp.]

I don't think mine knows it's not in water...

...

[ She is way too exhausted for this shit. ]

Cute rhyme, if nothing else. Forgive me if I'm not exactly the paragon of serenity when faced with a pluckier and more annoying version of myself.

...Piece of advice, though, that thing is going to be garbage for weeks.

Jeez, do you need some coffee before you get to impersonating me properly?

[She nudges the Magikarp with her foot.]

Hence the nickname. I've seen mushrooms and rocks fight since I got here, why can't this thing?

It's the sort of thing that comes with age and experience, and plenty of disappointment. You seem a bit more bright eyed and bushy tailed than I am. ...That's a good way to have the rug swept out from under your feet.

Reconsider the nickname. When it evolves, you'll want to change it. ... Actually, never mind. Considering the destructive potential, it might just fit.

[ Here, she'll demonstrate-- ]

That thing takes out enough targets, something primal awakens in it. It goes berserk, like that brat's EVA does. Turns into this.

[ She's got quite the Gyarados; it doesn't look the least bit submissive, but, it at least respects Asuka enough not to go roaming off.

Most strikingly, though, it glistens when it breaks out of the ball, bright red scales reflecting the sunlight. ]

...They're usually not in my color. Mine's unique.

[Asuka scoffs.]

Age and experience? You're not any older than I am, you've just got less depth percep--

[The presence of the Gyarados shuts Asuka right up, though.]

...this turns into that? Heilige scheisse. I need it. In that color.

Edited (I speak even less german than the original writers) 2016-11-25 17:10 (UTC)

That so? You're twenty-eight? Could've fooled me.

[ Not that people believe her, either. ]

There's an incredibly slim chance of finding gold fish like yours. Those are the ones that turn red. Some kind of genetic mutation. Usually they're blue.

Lady, if I'm still five foot one and a B-cup when I'm twenty-eight I'm just giving up.

[Right. "B" cup.]

Incredibly slim chance though, huh? You're serious? Well, if there's anyone who's gonna manage that, it's me and my weird doppelgänger.

I did tell you to expect lots of disappointment, didn't I? ... Besides, who the hell are you trying to impress? You're gonna tell me you want to be in a relationship? Or that you ever pictured yourself in one?

You're kind of funny. Just to give you a frame of reference, I think the odds are close to one in eight thousand. Thankfully, though, I managed to find mine in an egg...these things breed very strangely.

Hmph. Well, someday. Everybody's kinda distracted with the Angels, or didn't you know that?

If you were me you'd know I've pictured myself in one.

The Angels aren't as much of a problem nowadays. But that's interesting, though. ...By now, you should know how weak interpersonal relationships make you, after all. I had no idea I was ever this naive.

[ If she's telling the truth, that is. ]

With who? The brat? If so, schiesse, you're gonna be in for more disappointment than I thought.

Shinji? Ew. Just because he's the only guy my age...

[She looks away, mostly to make sure that if she blushes it's not obvious.]

Don't you remember Kaji? Jeez. I know he's a work in progress, but...anyway, looking for romance doesn't make me weak. It isn't a distraction when I'm actually working.

...A work in progress? Isn't he, like, literally twice your age?

[ Even if you like the guy, can't he go to jail or something for that? ]

Look, I don't need to be you to tell you that a relationship like that isn't going to go anywhere. Even putting aside that I think any relationship is generally a bad idea. ...Exposing your heart is asking for it to get broken. It's a trap. You're old enough to know that by now, aren't you?

Look, who the hell are you to tell me what I should and shouldn't do? You come bother me in this weird place, you steal my...well, half my face, then you start giving me edgelord relationship advice?

Come on, if you knew a damn thing about me you'd know I'd rather kick your ass than listen to you.

[She looks sidelong at the Gyarados.]

Not that that's an option with your buddy here and my Eva back in Japan...

I'm not the one sitting here pining over a fucking thirty year old. Thinking about you wanting to suck face, my face, with a grown man makes me so sick that I have to say something! Like, that's actually gross! I'd almost rather you told me you had a crush on Four-Eyes, or the brat, at least he'd be so oblivious that you might actually, like, get something out of it.

[ Was she always this insufferable? Fuck. ]

Edited 2016-11-25 21:09 (UTC)

Look, it's not like there are a lot of options, okay? I don't even know who Four-Eyes is. And Shinji's so stupid he doesn't know what to do with me when I'm right there, so good luck with that!

[That just kinda slipped out, whoops.]

And anyway, didn't you just claim to be in Kaji's age bracket? Why's it bother you so much?

[ Instead of getting angry about that, her look just becomes a bit of a "Huh." ]

...Yeah, you know, you totally have a point there, on the Shinji thing.

[ The kid probably couldn't fondle his way out of a paper bag. ]

Four-Eyes is the pilot of Unit-08. Maybe you haven't met her yet, you definitely would have known her if you've seen her.

Right now he's definitely not in my age bracket, though. And I mean, I'd be concerned for anyone my age, if they looked at me and tried to make some kind of pass. It's the sort of thing that makes you want to kick their ass and call the police.

You've got old-fashioned priorities for a girl living after the apocalypse, is all I'm saying. It'd be nice if there was a glut of nice, mature, sensible guys around, but...whatever.

Anyway, 08? I thought they were only going up through 04. We've been kicking enough ass with just three of us, considering only one of us knows what the hell she's doing.

I just prefer my potential romantic partners not to be into teenagers. I actually prefer my potential romantic partners not to exist at all, but, that's neither here nor there. Clearly I was going through some kind of phase I may or may not have tried to block out, but, maybe you can find someone here, considering you're pretty much stuck. Just make sure they don't think I'm you. I have a reputation to consider.

You really are funny, though. 04 didn't make it past the testing stage. Blew up in Nevada, and took the second branch of Nerv along with it. 05 was a provisional unit at Bethany Base, up in the North Pole, and from what I understand, it wasn't there for very long because an Angel got loose up there. At least, that's by Four-Eyes's account. 06 was Seele's EVA, and their poster boy piloted it. And I'm not completely sure what happened to 07, but Four-Eyes is in 08, and Nerv has 09 and above in the works back by them.

...I have no idea what the fuck you just said. If you're from the future, it's full of stuff I've never heard of yet.

Anyway, what do you mean stuck here? I've got a job to do. You've got a job to do, if you're me.

I don't think I stuttered through any of that. It was all plain Japanese. Even if you're shit at kanji, you should be able to at least hear. Do you not know what happened to 03? Because if you don't, I'm not opening that can of worms.

And it's just as I said. People just come and go here, no rhyme or reason. If there's a way out that isn't completely random, no one's stuck around long enough to share it. You're right, though. I had a job to do. Not your job, but a job. But I've been stuck here for...about ten months, now, by my count? They say time's weird here. I only half buy it.

Ugh. It's the same "I'm probably having a really coherent hallucination" shit that's why I know Kiryu and V/V. I never figured that one out either.

I think you might give your imagination a little bit too much credit.

The other option is giving many-worlds quantum theory too much credit. Either way, this is stupid.

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So you want to be a Pokemon Master?

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