victory_road | [Closed]

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Who: Sion and Ryner
Where: Their house/property outside Ecruteak
When: November 14 (baackdated)
Summary: Sion's been thinking about things while Ryner was away getting badges, and now some of those things need to be talked about
Rating: PG because denyuuden
Log:

Sion had known he'd missed Ryner, but he hadn't fully realized the extend of which until his best friend had finally made his way back to their house late in the day yesterday. Seeing Ryner again--in person, that is--had made Sion happier than he'd felt in some time. Funny how that worked, really.

But that had been yesterday. Today... Well, Sion had spent a lot of time thinking over matters while Ryner had been off in Kanto. Important matters, that he knew he needed to talk to Ryner about, or at least tell him the conclusion he'd come to. So after seeing to the morning chores, he set out to track down his best friend and have a word with him.

"Ah, there you are, Ryner..."

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Ryner could be found this morning outside, giving his Gyarados some much-appreciated extra attention. After all, even aquatic Pokemon could use a good cleaning sometimes, if only to remove any algae that had stuck to their scales, and Ry hadn't exactly been very active while everyone had been gone. And Fyn had worked really hard, so why not give her some extra attention too?

He was just about done with any cleaning that needed to be done at this point though, mostly just giving the serpents some pets when he heard Sion call his name. And so, he turned around to meet him.

"Ahh, hey Sion."

(Not that Ryner would admit it in these words, but he'd missed seeing Sion in person too.)

"It's good to see you haven't completely forgotten how to do your chores," Sion said with a smirk. Which had nothing to do with what he'd come to talk to Ryner about, of course, but he'd get to that. Eventually.

"Hey, I am trying, okay?" Ryner replied, though his tone was less sassy than it could be. "I'd say for someone with my condition, I'm doing pretty well."

"Don't get too proud of yourself too quickly, or you'll lose whatever progress you've made..."

Not that he sounded like he really meant it, but it was the principle of the thing! But in any case, having had his say, Sion sat down in the grass nearby, gazing out at the pokemon enjoying the cool autumn air.

"Say, Ryner. Have you thought much about what will happen when we leave here? Really leave, that is, not just experiencing memories of things back home in dreams, or whatever that really is..."

With a final pat to each of the Gyarados, who proceeded to swim off further into the pond, Ryner sat down next to Sion.

"When we're inevitably sent home, huh? ...I've put a little more thought into it lately, yeah."

It wasn't a topic he really liked, but it wasn't something he could just ignore. Not anymore, especially.

"Yeah."

Sion continued to gaze out over the yard. Well, in as much as the large space could be called a 'yard' in the first place. Dusk for once wasn't at his side, but rather sitting at a respectful distance. She was certainly keeping an eye on things, but Sion had made his need to talk to Ryner alone clear.

"Most likely, we won't have any warning, so it won't matter much anyway. But..."

"But?" Ryner glanced at Sion questioningly. What had prompted Sion to want to talk about this now, he wondered, but silently. Sion wanted to talk, and he was going to listen.

Sion didn't continue immediately, nor did he look at Ryner. He'd spent a good deal of time thinking about this over the past several weeks, but it was still terribly difficult to put into words. It somehow made it seem more real that way, or something like that, and it was a reality that made Sion's heart ache to face.

Which was, of course, why it needed to be said, but that didn't make it any easier.

"Well, the possibility seems rather unlikely, but one can't rule out the chance of it coming down to a choice in the end. Of returning, or of staying here."

Of going home, to the people he cared for and the duties he felt obligated to, or staying here with the team he'd raised and who had become his steadfast companions. Of giving up the happiness he'd found here that he never would have believed possible in a desperate bid to try to save his world, or to abandon Roland and all the people in it to remain here.

"Have you ever wondered what you'd do if you had that choice, Ryner?"

Not that Ryner's answer had any real bearing on what Sion wanted to say, but he was still working his way up to it, one step at a time.

Oh. That kind of question.

To be truthful, the thought had occurred to Ryner as well. It wasn't a question with an easy answer... even a year ago it would have been hard, and with how things were now, it was harder still. If it just came down to which world he preferred... but it didn't come down to that at all.

How could he abandon Ferris? Kiefer? Milk? Toale? Arua and Kuku? ...Well, he could live with not dealing with Vois anymore, but...

And on the same level, how could he abandon Rose? Jehra? Glen? All of the other Pokemon who had decided to enter his care over the years?

How could he possibly choose between them? It wasn't a thing he preferred to dwell on, but the question had certainly crossed his mind.

"...It's not something I really like thinking about," Ryner answered after a moment. "That kind of choice? I don't know if I could make it."

That reply got a small smile from Sion.

"Haha, that sounds like the sort of thing you'd say, Ryner..."

He paused, then continued. "Though it seems most likely it would be something of a moot point, anyway."

At least to judge from all past experience and observation. But even so...

"Yeah. This place giving us a choice in the matter would definitely be something new."

From coming here, to the comatose returns, to people who actually left...

But Ryner doubted that that finding out his opinion was all Sion wanted to talk about. "I'm gonna guess you've been thinking about it lately?"

"Yeah..."

This was the hard part. Sion had though about it, a lot. Enough to realize that, ultimately, there was only one decision he could make on the matter. But it was still painful to think about, let alone voice, even if doing so was necessary to truly move on. So it was a moment or two before he continued, his gaze fixed down on some point on the ground in front of him.

"I... don't want to leave everything here behind, Ryner. But if I abandoned Roland, if I don't go back.... Even if it turns out to be futile, I have to try. To protect Roland. To save Menoris. If I'm not there, then there's no one who can fight back against the goddesses. And there's already been so many deaths, so many sacrifices. So..."

He trailed off for a moment, closing his eyes against the tears threatening to form. When he spoke again, his voice was quieter, and uncharacteristically shaky.

"I can't just abandon that, Ryner."

"...I know. And I could never ask you to."

He said it quietly, after a couple moments to let Sion's words sink in. Honestly, he couldn't really say he'd expected Sion's opinion to be anything else. Ryner tormented him relentlessly about his work-a-holic tendencies, but at the end of the day... this was the country that Sion had dedicated his life to rebuilding. For better or worse.

Johto was practically paradise in a lot of ways... but truth be told, he'd known for a while that Sion could never be happy if he was trapped here forever.

Sion was quiet himself for another moment or two. What he'd already said was a good part of it, but it wasn't the whole of the matter. There was also the natural conclusion that it came to, the rest of that decision. But acknowledging was acknowledging all of it, accepting that eventual and inevitable pain, and that was the hard part.

"So..." Sion said at last, managing to force a smile even as just thinking about it made him want to cry. "So that means, I should probably make the most of it while I can, doesn't it?"

Where she sat watching from a little ways away, Dusk fidgeted restlessly. She didn't like seeing her partner hurt, but this was something she couldn't comfort him in. So even though it was clear that Sion was on the verge of tears, all she could do was will herself to lay her head down on her paws and wait.

If he was more naive, Ryner might have mentioned his hope that someday he might be able to find a way to let them - not just anyone, but anyone who this world had pulled first, anyway - go back and forth between worlds freely. It was something he'd been mulling over. Nothing concrete, but hey, if something was pulling them through and back, surely, surely there was a way to harness it, right...?

...But that was even more of a pipe dream than anything Sion had ever dreamed of accomplishing, let's be real. And right now wasn't the time to bring up faint hopes that were highly unlikely at best.

Instead, he looked up at the sky, his voice still quiet. "That's about all you can do, really. ...And honestly, that's probably the thing that's fairest to everybody."

If it was near inevitable that they'd have to say goodbye forever someday, why not make the most of it?

Sion gave a small nod. "Yeah..."

It was the fairest; it gave his team the most possible attention and care, but mean he wasn't abandoning his kingdom or people. And yet. And yet...

"But, still..."

And yet, it didn't make the idea of it ending any easier to face, his forced smile faltering as he choked back a sob.

...Honestly? Ryner didn't know how to reply.

He could offer false hopes, but that would just get his hopes up for nothing.

He could say that for all they knew it could be years, even decades, before things would end, but on the flip side, for all they knew it could be in an hour.

So instead of words, Ryner inched over and gently placed his arm around Sion's back, looking to pull him into a half hug.

Sion gave no resistance to Ryner's efforts, readily leaning in to the direction of Ryner's gentle pull. For a moment or two, he continued to try to find words to put to his feelings, but now that it was all out in the open, the feeling of future loss was overwhelming. A sob slipped out instead, grief for the inevitable parting from some of those he'd come to so deeply care about he'd have to one day face.

Gently, slowly, Ryner's half-hug turned into lightly rubbing Sion's back in an attempt to at least try to comfort him a little. He didn't know what else he was supposed to do.

It took a minute before he found words. Still quiet, subdued, a little emotionally dulled, because some habits died hard.

"...It really, really sucks."

...Never said they were great words, but.

That was a sentiment Sion could agree with, though of course it was impossible to see his expression with his face buried against Ryner's shoulder. But perhaps because of what Ryner said breaking down some barrier, or perhaps Sion had just reached his limit, slowly, a tear rolled down his face. Then another followed. After a moment, there was no doubt that he was crying, albeit still nearly silently, in his old, ingrained habit of showing as little outward sign of his feelings as possible.

The last time Ryner had seen Sion cry like this... well, it hadn't been a night that he was going to forget any time soon.

Ryner didn't say anything, though, just quietly letting his best friend cry on his shoulder. Even Sion needed to release what he held inside sometimes. Honestly, especially Sion, considering how little he ever did so.

"If there was a way to make it so you wouldn't have to make that choice, I'd do it..."

The 'but' was silent, but implied. He could barely do anything to affect the mess that was back home. How was he supposed to affect anything here?

If Sion heard Ryner's remark, he didn't respond. Though then again, he wasn't really in any state of mind to. He'd never been good at dealing with grief, and now that Ryner was giving him a safe outlet for it it was impossible to hold back. Grief for the inevitable loss he knew was coming, because there was no other way about it.

At least maybe, maybe, after having talked this through now, once it was over perhaps Sion really could make the most of his time here.

...There wasn't anything else he could do, or say.

All he could do was provide a shoulder for his friend to cry on, and support him as best he could. Which, given that this was Sion, was probably more helpful than it felt... but it didn't feel like it was.

But until Sion made to get off, Ryner would be there. That's what friends do, right? They support each other, through thick and thin, through the good and the bad. And Ryner had been kind of a failure of a friend in the past, but he was trying to do better.

...It still didn't feel like it, though.

It was definitely helpful, though Sion wasn't in any frame of mind to properly acknowledge as much just now. But at least Sion was making no effort to pull or push away, which was in many ways a vast improvement on his part.

After a moment or two, Dusk's restlessness finally got to her, and she rose and padded quietly over, stopping a short distance away and giving Ryner a questioning look. Was there anything she could do, or would her presence make things worse?

...Well, Dusk's presence certainly couldn't make things much worse, could they? Sion was upset about eventually having to leave her behind, but she was here now...

Wordlessly, he patted his arm that wasn't draped around Sion's back and patted the ground. Dusk was welcome here. He didn't know if her presence would help, but maybe it would.

Still a little cautious, since she didn't want to somehow disturb Sion, Dusk quietly padded around and sat down next to him, before gently resting her head on his lap. For his part, Sion still didn't react, but it would probably be another moment or two before he started calming down, anyway.

Ryner gently patted Dusk's head before returning his arm to his side, awkwardly not knowing where else it should go.

He continued to hold Sion, continued to attempt to gently rub his back. He wanted to say it would all be okay, but they both knew it inevitably wouldn't. He wanted to say that he'd find a way, but they both knew that was unlikely at best.

Hell, he couldn't even say with certainty what his decision would be if he had to make this choice. At least Sion had enough conviction to know... Ryner hadn't gotten better at this at all, had he. Here Sion was, faced with all the hard decisions, and here Ryner was running away from making them once again...

But he couldn't. He couldn't do it. He couldn't abandon either side. He couldn't abandon Rose, and he couldn't abandon Ferris, and he couldn't, wouldn't abandon Sion.

There probably wasn't much that could be said to help in this case, anyway. After all Sion was, in a way, grieving an inevitability that had yet to come about. It was the fear and pain of loss that had always been lurking around the edges all his stay in Johto all coming out at once.

But in doing so now, perhaps he might be able to better move on and enjoy things while they lasted. At least, once he'd worked it all out of his system for the moment.

Which he was getting there. Slowly.

And if it was helping Sion to let it out, then that was fine.

(...and in the back of Ryner's mind, theories for how to make a bridge between the worlds so that this decision would never have to be made - and concerns that a permanent bridge wouldn't be safe for Johto, there was no way that their world's problems could be allowed to trespass here, but what if there was a way to gate it... - made their way through the edges of his thoughts...

even if it was a nigh impossibility, that didn't mean it couldn't be analyzed)

Well eventually, sooner or later, Sion's sobs subsided and he calmed down.

... Though he perhaps was lingering a bit more than strictly necessary.

Which was completely fine. Sion could take all the time he needed, or wanted, before he pulled away. Ryner would be there to support him until he did.

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