[video / action for Route 37]

[meteorman]

[As is usual whenever Ford makes a post, the feed clicks on and he immediately starts talking.]

Take a look at this!

[He lifts up his hands -- both of them, because as usual, Roswell is holding the 'gear. Cradled in his palms and looking just a tad bit overwhelmed to be on video is--]

Fungus!

[Yep. It's a Morelull, and he is just over the moon about it.]

I had thought that Foongus and Amoongus were the only mushroom-imitating Pokemon (not counting, of course, the parasitic variety that preys on the Paras line). I have read through the Pokedex quite a few times since my arrival and there was never mention of this species, but lo and behold, an entry has appeared for Morelull sometime within the last few days. Is this a common occurrence? Is there always potential for completely new Pokemon to simply materialize out of the ether? Fantastic.

And sensible. There are over fourteen thousand species of mushroom native to my own dimension, to say nothing of molds and yeasts. That only a select few Pokemon have ever adapted a similar biology is surprising when fungus is one of the more successful organisms as a general rule; my assumption now is that there are many, many more and we simply haven't stumbled upon them yet. Not only that but Morelull is Grass and Fairy type! I wonder if they naturall congregate in rings in their resting day state--

[Oh my god. This is so cool. This is so cool you guys. Does this mean he's going to be spending the rest of his time in Johto aggressively checking rotten logs for new Pokemon species? Probably.]

Comments

[meteorman]

Are you by chance referring to Shuckle?

[callbacks]

If by 'Shuckle' you mean 'the best Pokémon that has ever existed,' then yeah. Hell fuckin' yeah, I am.

[meteorman]

Ah, but a slime mold is not a fungus!

[callbacks]

Are other molds? You're the one who brought them up.

[meteorman]

A slime mold is not a true mold. I can see where the confusion arises; originally slime molds were classified into the fungal family, but more recently changes have been made to their taxonomy based on a few key points. They feed via ingestion rather than absorption, most notably.

[It surprised him after thirty years in the portal too, but... look. If you think the first thing he did (after saving the world) wasn't look up all the groundbreaking advancements in his pet fields of science, you're wrong.]

[callbacks]

Wait, wait, so. They eat shit? Like, actually?

[This may be the most exciting day of young Dave's life.]

[meteorman]

They eat most anything they can -- they'll even cannibalize other slime molds, in fact, if they truly are desperate for nutrients.

[callbacks]

[Siiiiick. Dave brightens a little.]

But they're not mobile, right? They're stationary like plants?

[meteorman]

Oh, no! One of the main characteristics of a slime mold is its ability to move in order to find an ideal combination of light, moisture and food. In fact, in harsher conditions slime molds that do not naturally live as a single mass will congregate together into an aggregate in order to maximize potential for survival.

[callbacks]

What!

[THIS IS THE MOST DELIGHTFUL THING DAVE HAS EVER HEARD, EVER!

Beside himself with hype, Dave leans down from his seat, picks up a beautiful, blue-shelled shiny Shuckle, and places said Shuckle in his lap so he can see the screen.]

You hear that, Lucky? Your species is whack.

[Good Luck Shuck just tucks all his limbs into his shell and cocks his head at a funny angle. Hello, Ford. 'Sup?]

[meteorman]

[IS THAT A SHINY SHUCKLE

IT IS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]

Shuckle is also I believe a marked improvement upon the slime molds I'm familiar with, in that it has created its own miniature environment within its shell that has peak moisture and stored nutrition. It's really something.

Did you breed for that coloration, or were you just extremely lucky?

[callbacks]

I got him for facing my deep-seated emotional complex disorders like an adult and definitely not hiding in a closet for hours because of ninja ghosts.

[...]

It happens sometimes, 'round here.

[meteorman]

[Uh]

What part of that, exactly.

[Because if you expect him to admit to his deep-seated emotional complex disorders, Dave, you've got another think coming. He did that once already back home and got rid of the worst of them. He's keeping the rest. They're comfortable.]

[callbacks]

The part where we get random prizes from the PokéGods for good behavior. I woke up to Good Luck Shuck here as an egg by my bedside after what I'm pretty sure was a particularly ornery social experiment this summer and now he is my son.

[He loves his mold pasta children. Every last one of them.]

[meteorman]

[Huh.]

Odd. I wonder if different legendaries have different conceptions of good behavior. I suppose I won't really find out until the next 'social experiment'. As a breeder I'm very interested in getting some shiny genetics into the pool of potential eggs.

[Which is only because eggs will sell better if there's a chance of a shiny baby and not at all because he has a deep-seated emotional complex about abnormality and rare genetic mutations.]

[callbacks]

[Hm.]

What do you breed?

[meteorman]

Currently? I admit I haven't been catching in accordance with a certain egg group. I thought it best to have a wide variety to begin with and in the interest of full disclosure I've begun to capture Pokémon that I find interesting more than ones I think might be marketable.

[He isn't going to say he doesn't really have a head for business, but...]

As it turns out, I'm one of the few people who finds Pokémon like Forretress and Trubbish to be endearing.

[callbacks]

[He pets Good Luck Shuck's head fondly.]

Well, I know fuckall about Pokébreeding, but if you figure anything you've got can breed with Shuckle and Lucky here's interested, I'm willing to set up a playdate or something.

[meteorman]

Titania may be able to.

[In fact, he's pretty sure she can. They're both in the Bug egg group, aren't they? That's all it takes, despite how functionally ridiculous that seems.]

And even if they don't produce any shiny eggs, I admit I would like the excuse to have a Shuckle of my own to observe.

[callbacks]

Titania?

[Look, if he's gonna clear a sleepover for his son, he's got to see what company he's gonna be keeping first.]

[meteorman]

[Oh, that's more than fair.]

My Forretress -- hold on a moment.

[He pulls her ball from his coat. Out pops a Forretress, perhaps a little larger than normal, which manages to look regal and opinionated despite just being a ball with eyes.]

She's the very first Pokémon that I ever caught in the wild, though of course she was a Pineco then.

[He's not good at overtly stating affection, but there's an unmistakable warm tone in his voice.]

[callbacks]

Well hey there, aren't you a beauty.

[Dave knows how to appreciate a weird bug. Good Luck Shuck climbs up Dave's chest to get a better look, then waves one floppy appendage. Hello!]

Steel-type? She's got that look.

[meteorman]

[Titania blinks. She can't exactly wave back, but she does tilt her head -- her whole body? -- in acknowledgement.]

Yes indeed! When Forretress evolves it gains an additional steel typing. My working theory is that the tree bark Pineco covers itself in hardens into a petrified coating of sorts.

[callbacks]

Rad.

[Bugs are so. Cool.]

I wonder if it has anything to do with some sort of fucknuts overdrive fossilization process? You know, like how petrified wood's like that 'cause minerals replace the dead plant fibers. Maybe she absorbed, I dunno, iron right out of the air.

[meteorman]

It's possible. Considering the amount of light evolution tends to give off it is clearly a monumental expenditure of energy. If that involves a forcible chemical reaction in the case of Forretress it wouldn't surprise me.