victory_road

Entry tags:

video

[Forward-dated to later in January, when the Snorunt are swarming.

Blitzo has been here for a bit. At first, he was too busy figuring everything out to come bitch and moan about the place on the network... Now the novelty has warn off, and here he is in all his Hot Topic-decked-out "glory," if you can call it that. He looks irritated and tired.]

It's been almost a week... And I'm starting to think this actually isn't some sort of fever dream. So what the fuck is going on, why am I here? Does anybody know how to leave?

[His ponyta leans in from off-camera and boops his nose against Blitzo's cheek. Despite his bad mood, Blitzo shows a little bit of a smile.]

Hang on. Daddy's complaining, Hellhorse. [That's right. Trainer? Nah. As far as Blitzo's concerned, this pokemon is his second child.] Gimme a minute...

Okay, I got one more question: What's with the little traffic cone guys? They're better than the creepy-ass clown... things, don't get me wrong, but it's like I can't go three fucking minutes without tripping over one.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Traffic cone guys? What Pokemon are you talking about?

[Jotaro's face flicks on the Pokegear, though his attention is only half on it. Usually he would text rather than video but he needs his hands at the moment to brush his Pokemon offscreen.]

... There's no reason why you're here. People just appear in this world sometimes. And you leave when you leave, some people don't at all.

[Blitzo moves until he gets a Snorunt into the shot, not that it takes long. They've all been very wary of Hellhorse, but in an "we've got our eyes on you" way...]

These little shits, I mean.

[He runs a hand down his face and sighs.]

No reason... Fuck, sure, that... Yeah, that actually sounds about right. [Life is a series of random crap thrown at you, right? So why not this.] So we're all just stuck here in this weird living world until we're maybe not...

[He's trying not to show it, but that's some stressful information! He's got a lot to take care of back home. Way too much is still up in the air for this.]

Oh. The Snorunts. Yeah, they come out during January to share fortunes. That's relatively normal here. [Jotaro's tired voice makes it very clear that it's just one of the many weird things that go on. At least the Snorunts are predictable, even if they are a little late this year.]

Yep... I haven't heard of anyone leaving when they want to leave yet, but maybe I'm wrong. [So far, he's not.

However, despite his stoicism, Jotaro's more observant than most people give him credit for. He can see Blitzo is not happy about things, so he figures... well... maybe a distraction may help?]

What did you mean by living world? You dead or something? [Thanks, JoJo.]

Share fortunes, what do you mean? [Blitzo's eyes light up.] ...These little things don't have money or anything, do they?

Not dead, though there's plenty of chucklefucks who'd love that, heh. No, I'm from hell, I'm an imp. The name's Blitzo, the "o" is silent.

[He will forever introduce himself that way. It doesn't matter that he never says his name with the "o" anymore to begin with.]

No, of course not. They're paper fortunes. They usually predict how lucky you'll be in the next couple of months. It's like a version of omikuji, if you have those from wherever you're from.

[Which... is hell, apparently. Jotaro doesn't even bat an eyelid at the information; he just nods, accepting the weirdness for what it is.] Jotaro Kujo. I'm from America.

[Jotaro pauses and sighs as he sees something offscreen. It immediately becomes apparent, as his Glalie moves into frame, a big smile on it's face.] And this is Omikuji the Glalie. He evolved from one of those Snorunt.

[A biker punk comes on and laughs a bit dryly.]

The god of this world brings people here, they figure. Then the god eventually gets bored of them or something and sends them back. Honestly, nobody really knows, but that's the basic explanation some of them have come up with. You can't leave on your own.

[He cracks a smile at the interaction with the Ponyta. The name doesn't thrill him, but he's happy to see the guy cares about his Pokemon, at least. Several Eevees are climbing into the shot now, and literally climbing all over the biker. He has to laugh more genuinely at that and reaches to pet them.

He sobers again with a sigh.]

You mean the Snorunts? They hang around this time of year and people try to be nice to them and sometimes they actually seem to reward some people for being nice. But then they torture other people who try to be nice to them, so who knows what their game is. I ended up with a Snorlax blocking my front door for a month when I tried to be nice to them. I heard about another guy whose hair went green or something for a month? [He shakes his head.] It is loco. All I can tell you is that if you're nasty to them, you'll be punished for sure, but being nice only has a chance of them being nice back.

[Blitzo frowns as he listens, and his eyes narrow.]

What, really? The god... Are you sure? Because I can't imagine any god giving a shit about hellspawn... But fuck, why not? Stuck here... Fuckin' great.

Hang on, hang on, these shivery little shits punish people? How? They don't look more than two feet tall, and they're so jumpy... You sure you didn't just have a Snorlax blocking your door?

Well, nobody's sure. It could be a glitch in the time-space continuum, for all we know.....

[And then he blinks.]

Hellspawn?

[Was that ... literal, or did the guy just have that low an opinion of himself?

And a weary shake of his head.]

Who knows. You're right it could be a coincidence, I guess. I thought that at first. But everybody always has a rash of bad or good luck when the Snorunts show up.

[Blitzo flashes a toothy grin and points his thumb against his own chest.]

That's right, bitch, hellspawn and proud of it! Gotta say, I'm not a fan of this freaking living world, human body I've been stuck with.

[He pats Hellhorse on the neck, then scratches behind his ear.]

There's perks, though. So I don't care if these... Snorunt things wanna mess with me, but they gotta stop staring at Hellhorse. It's been freaking him out.

[In the background, Snorunts can indeed be seen watching Hellhorse. They're keeping an eye on that fire type!]

[... Wow. What's Arceus gonna drag in next?]

... Yeah, I guess that'd be a big culture shock if you're just new to it....

[He frowns, seeing the staring.]

I wonder if it's because they're Ice and he's Fire. I've had some staring at Levi too.

[A large fluffy Flareon wanders into the camera. "Flare?"]

Mmm, yeah, more or less. I've been in the living world, and been around humans... I've killed plenty of them, too. But I never thought I'd have to be one. Kinda fuckin' miss my horns...

[He rubs his chin at the suggestion, glancing from Hellhorse to the Snorunt, then back at the camera.]

Yeah, I guess that makes sense, huh? How have you and fluffy there been dealing with them?

... Killed them?

[That shouldn't be a surprise from a demon, but it's still not something Radley's used to having someone just say outright to him. At least, not for a long time. Malcolm's men often laughed about the permanent harm they had caused to people.

He busies himself petting Levi and the Eevees.]

Well, since we're pretty leery of those guys and are trying to avoid more trouble, we try to be friendly and congenial to them.

Fuck yeah. I mean, it's my job. I'm an assassin - run a team that goes to the living world and gets the folks who pissed off the sinners in hell. It's a fun time!

Hmm... Okay, sure, but I'm not sure that angle's gonna work for me. If these little shits are giving my boy here a hard time, we're not just gonna let them.

[Yikes.]

Gee, I hope I don't end up on your hit list when we get home.

[He's sure to have some enemies in Hell if any of his have been executed by now.]

Oh yeah, we wouldn't just take it if they start being nasty. So far they're just staring.

Hmmm... I guess if they keep their distance, it's fine...

[He looks back at the Snorunt, his hand still on Hellhorse's neck.]

But you bastards give my sweetie a hard time and you're roasted!

[Radley winces. That'll probably give the guy some negative points with the Snorunts. Unless this batch decides to reward protectiveness towards his Pokemon or something. They're so finicky.]

So ... uh ... anything else we can help you with?

Oh, right.

[Blitzo sighs.]

I mean, not much to help with, right? You said we're stuck here until we're not, so...

Yeah. I meant if you needed directions to someplace or anything like that.

Ohhhhh.

Actually, I have no idea where I'm even going. And everywhere's been so fucking small-time, you know what I mean? Does this place have cities, or what?

Thankfully, yeah. I live in probably the biggest city around here, Goldenrod. Do you know what place you're closest to right now?

Mmm, I left that Cherrygrove place a couple days ago, that help any? Just been grass and some trees since then, so...

Yeah, you should be coming to Violet City soon. From there, you can go North or South and eventually get to Goldenrod. I took the Northern route. The Southern one goes through Ilex Forest.

Alright, got it. And, uh, good luck with the little traffic cones this year? I guess?

Thanks. Same to you.

[The Eevees call out greetings. Or Goodbyes. Or both.]

Traffic cone guys..?

[And as he says that, one walks right by him, and Emporio Realizes-]

.... [Oh no]

....Tell me you're not treating them bad.

[It's spoken with an edge of fear. The Snorunts can do so many things Blitzo, don't mess with them-]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

video

video

Re: video

no subject

no subject

no subject

Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

Re: Video

VIDEO - slides in almost a week late like shhhhh