Heather Mason (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
foolishwren) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
victory_road2017-03-10 11:05 pm
foolishwren) wrote in victory_road2017-03-10 11:05 pm
004. Video
[The entire screen is black and white as it pans across a backyard. Everything's buried under a good foot of snow, and big fat flakes are whirling past the camera so fast that they straight-up pixelate.]
So... for those just tuning in...
[The camera's view jerks very suddenly to a massively fluffy Growlithe, who is very carefully sniffing the base of a completely snow-covered shrub.]
... We're going for the fifteen-minute mark on Cooj TAKING HIS SWEET-ASS TIME FIGURING OUT WHERE TO PEE.
For the love of GOD, Cujo.
[He looks back at the camera, big pink tongue lolling out, and shakes off, spraying half-melted snow everywhere. Then he moves on to one of the patio chairs, along with the lumpy, weird-looking snowman from earlier that afternoon cheekily posed to be sitting in it-- to give that the once-over with his nose instead. And the trainer behind the camera lets out a melodramatic sigh.]
What crime did I commit in a past life to deserve thi--
[and right then and there the video turns to a blur, because the snowman in the patio chair just stood up and Heather is LEAVING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE FUCK THAT COOJ YOU CAN PEE ON YOUR OWN]
So... for those just tuning in...
[The camera's view jerks very suddenly to a massively fluffy Growlithe, who is very carefully sniffing the base of a completely snow-covered shrub.]
... We're going for the fifteen-minute mark on Cooj TAKING HIS SWEET-ASS TIME FIGURING OUT WHERE TO PEE.
For the love of GOD, Cujo.
[He looks back at the camera, big pink tongue lolling out, and shakes off, spraying half-melted snow everywhere. Then he moves on to one of the patio chairs, along with the lumpy, weird-looking snowman from earlier that afternoon cheekily posed to be sitting in it-- to give that the once-over with his nose instead. And the trainer behind the camera lets out a melodramatic sigh.]
What crime did I commit in a past life to deserve thi--
[and right then and there the video turns to a blur, because the snowman in the patio chair just stood up and Heather is LEAVING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE FUCK THAT COOJ YOU CAN PEE ON YOUR OWN]
video;
... but that's a way bigger problem than snow. Is it still moving?
video;
But, uh, it hasn't moved since standing up, it's kinda just... standing there, but-- OH SHIT THERE IT GOES!
[IT TOOK A STEP.]
video;
[No it's not.]
[Even less so is her OH SHIT THERE IT GOES]
Can you melt it?
video;
Cooj!
Use Flamethro-- no not at the house NOT AT THE HOUSE!
[The glass goes opaque as a cloud of steam gushes upwards from the rapidly-melting snow.]
video;
... are you all right!
video;
[As the steam on the windows slowly starts to clear, Cujo can be seen wagging happily in a giant circle of soggy bare lawn.]
... Well, I'm glad I just told him to use Flamethrower and not like... Fire Blast.
video;
[That's a real holy shit moment even if your canon doesn't let you swear like a normal person.]
I... guess that's one way to get rid of snowmen...
Does he always do it that [HAND GESTURES.] ... much?
video;
[The answer is 'Yes'. Which is why she very frequently doesn't actually tell Cujo to use his fire moves outside of a legitimate trainer battle.]
video;
I'll take that as a 'yes'.
And I'm sorry.
video;
As long as he doesn't burn the house down, I'm fine with him thawing out the yard...
video;
video;
video;
And I'm sorry I asked.