[Text 001]

[bleedingunversed]

Why does this thing look like this?

Why is it so

WHY

[Attached is a picture of Vani's newly evolved Salazzle who is looking at the camera with what can only be described as bedroom eyes.

Godspeed, asshole.]

Comments

[text]

[charcoalfeather]

What's wrong with it? Is it sick or something?

[She's too pure for this.]

[text]

[bleedingunversed]

[Oh my god child.]

IT'S TRYING TO SEDUCE ME.

[text]

[charcoalfeather]

what?

but

why?? They can't do that!

[text]

[bleedingunversed]

Yeah apparently they can because she's doing it and it's weird.

[text]

[charcoalfeather]

why???

[text]

[keep_surviving]

[attached; audio clip]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[text]

[bleedingunversed]

WOW THAT WAS SO HELPFUL. THANKS A BUNCH.

[text]

[keep_surviving]

Ur welcome

Sass is laughin 2 btw

[attached; an image of an incredibly amused looking Salazzle]

[text]

[bleedingunversed]

Great. Another stupid lizard.

Does yours make eyes at you too or am I just that lucky?

[text]

[thedifferencebetween]

HA! Your thing looks like it should be on a commercial for a late night chatline...

that's messed up.

[text -> video]

[bleedingunversed]

Apparently the males don't evolve.

I need to find a male.

This is too creepy for my liking.

[All of a sudden the video snaps on and it's not Vanitas in the frame but his Phantump, Flood. The little ghost twills in delight, her leaf mask in place as she holds the 'gear in her hands.]

FLOOD.

[video]

[thedifferencebetween]

Hey, if it isn't my biggest fan! Wait it out a little longer, I'm sending ya a better one!

And while I got ya... ask your trainer if he's sure he wants another one of those things, he could just end up with the worst harem ever.

[Jack knows Vanitas can hear him.]

[video]

[bleedingunversed]

[Flood looks absolutely delighted at the idea of getting a mask, twirling in the air while clapping her hands and giggling. Yes! A proper mask! She'll wear it proudly!

The Phantump nods eagerly when Jack makes a request of her and turns towards her trainer impishly but Vanitas is quick to shove her out of view as she giggles.]

I heard you, jackass. That's why I'd leave her in my box while I trained the other one.

[That gets a sharp hiss from off camera. Someone isn't pleased about that.]

[overtwohundred]

awwww she just wants a smooch
can't disappoint her can you?
no?
exactly.

[bleedingunversed]

I'm not kissing a lizard.

I'm not kissing any animals.

[overtwohundred]

don't blame me if she starts acting out
i tried to tell you

[bleedingunversed]

I have other Pokemon she can have her fun with.

I'm not getting involved.

And you're weird for suggesting it.

[text]

[faintwaves]

[Oh. It's jerkface not-Sora again.]

Your Pokemon likes you, is it that weird of an idea?

[text]

[bleedingunversed]

There's a difference between liking someone and wanting to make them your mate.

I DON'T APPRECIATE THE SECOND OPTION.

[text]

[faintwaves]

[Mate? Okay no, she knows this one. Mate means someone you love and want to...kiss and hug and stuff, maybe. She thinks.]

Okay so there's a crush. [Give her a moment, she's looking up the Pokemon. Salazzle? 100% female, generally has...



Oh. Oh boy.]

You don't have to freak out. Just because she's got a crush doesn't mean she can make you be her mate.

[text]

[bleedingunversed]

I know that but it's still weird and I don't like the look she's giving me.

Did you see that picture???

IT'S WEIRD.

[text]

[beastofasister]

It's because she's pretty! （๑✧∀✧๑）
Or, I guess I should say that she's pretty and she knows it?
Maybe you just need to tell her that too much self-confidence is unattractive! (*´艸`*)

[text]

[bleedingunversed]

I don't think she'd enjoy hearing that. I'd rather not piss her off.

[beastofasister]

Σ(*°▽°*) Oh?
So you have come around!
Have you patted your Woobat's head yet, then?
It deserves it for how mean you were at first. ( ｰ̀εｰ́ )

[...She is 100% back to messing with him already.]

[bleedingunversed]

Oh yes I'm totally doting on all my Pokemon and I love every single one of them just so so much!!!



No. I let my other Pokemon beat it up.

Does that count?