49th treasure [audio]

[captainash]

[Late in the evening, when all innocent ears should be fast asleep, Ash's voice is preceeded by a sigh and rustling pages.]

"Her legs felt as wobbly as a pair of Goomies when he removed his shirt, revealing muscles a Machamp would surely envy. She could feel a burning passion in her inner Bidoof, stronger than any Fire Blast could be. Even a herd of dancing Zebstrikas could not have drawn her gaze away."

[His reading stops abruptly, interrupted by barely restrained laughter.]

This is either the best or the worst annversary present I've ever received.

Comments

[Video]

[notmyrealname]

[Do you see her face? That is the face of someone very amused by this entire situation.]

Someone gave you a horribly trashy romance novel for your anniversary?

[rambling_runner]

[ Oh god what ]

Holy. Shit. Your partner gave you that for your anniversary with em??

[borschtkot]

GROSS, MAN WHY WOULD YOU POST THAT?!

[ Disgusted teenager ahoy. ]

[audio]

[captainash]

Many someones gave me a trashy romance novel for my anniversary. Well, I guess it's Dark Hound's anniversary, too.

[audio]

[captainash]

Partners, of the furry and feathery kind. Wasn't it nice of them?

[audio]

[captainash]

Because if I'm going to suffer, I'm dragging everyone down with me.

[A beat.]

Also, I was expecting everyone under twenty to be asleep by now.

: [audio]

[borschtkot]

Yeah right, some of the best Pokemon are out at night.

[Video]

[notmyrealname]

Oh so this was a gift from your Pokemon!

[Cissnei chokes back a laugh, shaking her head.]

That makes it all the more amusing. What taste they have~

[audio]

[captainash]

True. Hoothoot, Spinarak and Zubats are great if you can find them. And if you don't mind giant spiders.

[audio]

[borschtkot]

OH I got a Noctowl and Ariados now. Zubats are pretty quick though

[audio]

[captainash]

Sweet, isn't it? I'm not sure if they picked the book at random or if they tried asking someone for recommendations, but they sure picked an... interesting writer.

[audio]

[captainash]

Excellent choices, can't go wrong with those. They can't be used in alarming metaphors, either, which is turning out to be a nice bonus.

[rambling_runner]

...Is that legal here??

[ HE'S NOT SURE WHAT TO THINK OF THAT. ]

[captainash]

[...On the one hand, this is obviously a terrible misunderstanding. On the other hand...]

Why would it not be legal? I've seen plenty of people with multiple partners around here. Including kids.

[On the other hand, this is hilarious.]

[rambling_runner]

Nah man, I didn't mean that. Hell, I knew people back home who had that sort of arrangement going and it worked for them.

[ He shrugs. He's heard of three-ways before. BUT THAT'S NOT IT- ]

I was talking about banging your Pokemon tho.

[captainash]

[Does he keep things going or not? Decisions, decisions...]

Pretty sure it'd be both illegal and immoral. Equally sure some people have tried it before. I don't think about the details, and I suggest you don't either.

[rambling_runner]

...so why'd they give you a sex novel for an anniversary? Cos I can only think of like, one anniversary that would involve sex books. And giving them to people.

[captainash]

Who knows? Maybe they took a look around the apartment we all share, pondered the lack of other human presence in it, and decided I needed inspiration.

[A beat.]

Or maybe they just picked the book at random. It does have a very colorful cover.

[rambling_runner]

...I'll be honest, I'm hoping it's the latter thing.

By anniversary, is it when you caught them? Did you catch a bunch of them at once or something?

[ At least that's one part of the mystery solved. ]

[captainash]

It's the anniversary of my arrival in this world, and my first meeting with Dark Hound. And Sharp, Luster, Scarf, Bouncy and Watcher. Very busy first day, as you can see.

[video]

[eclectictype]

[Jade is technically still a teenager.

And she finds this HILARIOUS.]

Oh my god! What--dude, you can't just leave it at that, I need to hear more!

[audio]

[captainash]

Let's see now...

[Ash should really know better than to corrupt a minor like this, yet he still flips through the pages.]

"No Metapod could use Harden as impressively as this. Even an Aggron would be jealous." ...Jealous of what exactly, the text does not say.

[audio]

[eclectictype]

[No, Ash, please go ahead she's eating this shit up--it's the best entertainment Jade's had in a while.]

Seriously? That's worse than my friend's shitty romance novels. [Friend/ex-boyfriend, whatever.] An Aggron would be jealous--what, is the Aggron supposed to want to join in too? So weird.

[audio]

[borschtkot]

'The hair between her legs was as fine as Spinarak webs' is probably a potential if you're into that thing.

Which you seem to be.

[audio]

[captainash]

And now I'm torn between asking how many lurid romance novels you've read, and looking through this thing for hair comparisons. Hang on a sec.

[More pages rustling.]

Ah, no Spinarak webs there. Only more Bidoofs.