victory_road | Video; It ain't quite Skitty on Wailord action, but still...

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Video; It ain't quite Skitty on Wailord action, but still...

[The video turns on to Armin look a bit peeved. Not exactly angry, but there is some frustration on his face there. Like someone just gathered up every sensible law of logic and took them away from him.

He seems to be on the beach (when is he not), the sound of waves and someone howling with laughter accompanying him.]

I’m sorry to bother anyone, but I have a question I was hoping someone could answer. [a small frown.] Perhaps a breeder would know…

[He turns the camera around to focus on a cute clutch of eggs in the sand. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Just some nice poke-eggs.]

I came home from work to discover these. I suppose it was somewhat inevitable with how many Pokemon we have running around, but—

[The camera moves again to focus on an Incineroar who looks very proud of himself. In fact, when Polo realises the camera is on him, he purrs with obvious delight, thrusting out his chest. Yes. Yes, look at him. He is the one who did it. He made these happen. He is the father and very proud of it.

The camera moves to the side to focus on another very proud Pokemon. Well, part of a very proud Pokemon. Armin is too close to his Wailord to really get a proper shot of her, so mostly what is on view is the front of her massive head. She’s pushed herself partway onto the sand, slapping her giant tail on the water, letting out a half sung Wail.]

Could anyone please explain how these two managed to have a clutch of eggs? I understand about egg groups, but I cannot see how Polo managed to, well—

[Bump uglies. Do the deed. Form the beast with two backs. Sex. Armin is talking poke-sex.]

I mean, even disregarding the size difference, Polo hates water. He won’t go into it. And Amber cannot really go on land. It just—

[Armin makes a wordless noise of frustration which seems to bring forth another wave of laughter from the second person there. The camera moves once more, but this time it is less focused as if Armin is fumbling with it to turn it off. For a moment, it settles on Jean who is using one hand to wipe the tears of laughter out of his eyes, and the other to high five his Incineroar, prompting a

You aren’t helping, you know

Before Armin manages to shut off the recording entirely.]

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[Guess who has collapsed on the sand in laughter? This guy right here. Polo stands over Jean, purring proudly, and then ducks down to rub the side of his face on Jean's head and nudge him towards Amber. Go on, she wants a high five too!]

[Armin is revoking this friendship. It's gone. He's putting it in a bottle and tossing it out into the ocean because he is done with Jean. Best friendship with Jean revoked. This rock is his new friend now.]

It's not that funny, you know.

[he says, slightly sulkily.]

[Look out, that rock might have another ill-tempered Binacle in it!]

It's pretty godsdamn funny, Armin.

[Look at how happy they are! You have a heart of stone, sir, not sharing in their joy.]

Besides, you've been talking about starting a Wailord pod for awhile now. Polo just helped you get started!

[Well, yes, Armin has been talking about the Wailord pod for a while now. And if there are any Wailmer in these eggs, he'll gladly adopt them all.

Of course, he had intended to start his pod with a bit more research. And a carefully selected ditto partner for Amber, seeing as he doesn't really know anyone with another Wailord. Make sure everything would line up properly because lord knows he just doesn't want to leap before he looks. Not on something so important. This would be a big deal for Amber, right? To have a pod of her own. He thinks it would be and he'd want to do everything in his power to make sure things go right for his beloved Wailord.]

Well, yes, but-- Jean, it doesn't make any sense. Look at them. Amber is ten times the size of him. How could they have even done it?

[But now she's starting her pod with a Pokemon of her own choosing. Isn't that better than a Ditto? DittHo might be good enough for Blitz and Donner, but would that really be good enough for Armin's precious Wailord daughter?]

Don't think too much about it.

[Jean lifts a hand and Polo cheerfully pulls him to his feet. He trots over to Amber's fin and offers her his palm.]

High-five, Mama.

[Nothing is ever good enough for Armin's most precious of daughters.]

But I am thinking about it! You can't tell me you aren't thinking about it!

[Amber carefully brings down her fin on Jean's offered hand and... probably still knocks him onto his boney butt. Listen, when your fins are the size of people, it's hard to really mind your strength.]

[Amber does indeed knock Jean backwards, but Polo is there to catch him and set him back on his feet again. Then the big tiger goes over and sits on top of Amber's fin, safely out of the water, purring happily and doing slow blinks while looking at Amber's eye.]

Nope, I am not thinking about it. I'm just accepting that it is what it is.

[Amber returns the slow blink. Hello there, lover boy. These are some fine eggs they have created, aren't they?]

I can't just do that.

[He can't just accept facts for what they are without understanding the why. He's a kid that entered the why phase at age four and then never left. He just got politer about it.]

[Very fine eggs. And look how pleased Dumb Narrow and Small Yellow are! They'll have to make them more eggs in the future, since they like this clutch so much.]

Then you're going to have to ask Newt or Dr. Ford or someone, because I'm just accepting that we've got some eggs and two very happy Pokemon.

[Amber would be very agreeable indeed to making them many more eggs. Look at her little trainer. He's clearly so very excited. You can tell from the high pitch to his voice and the wild flapping of his hands. That's excitement.]

I-- I can't ask Mr Newt something like that.

[Armin glances away, jerking his chin slightly, maybe a little flushed.

Mr Pines? He can (and will) ask Ford about weird poke-sex, but it is more embarrassing with Newt. Probably because he doesn't actually want to kiss Ford any, and Newt, well...]

[And look at Polo's trainer! He's laughing and giving high-fives! Clearly they've done a good thing and should do it again!]

Why not? He's a breeder, he should know about this stuff.

[Look how helpful he's been in setting Jean up with Grandmaw and Gulliver. AND he took a Voltorb egg! Yes, Newt is quite high in Jean's estimation.]

[Newt is a breeder. One who produces eggs by the cartful. And what is more, he's someone who worked closely with animals even before coming to this world. Newt really would be one of the best people to ask. If anyone would have any ideas on the subject, it'd be him.

But that would also involve Armin talking to Newt about sex. Pokemon sex, sure, but sex still. And that is. Awkward. Would he even be able to do it without turning himself into some sort of embarrassing spectacle? He doesn't exactly what Newt to find out about this dumb crush.]

He probably would. [Armin has to concede that.] Still, I'd rather find someone else to ask that sort of thing.

Why?

[You didn't think Jean would just leave it at that, did you, Armin? Because that would be a foolish thought on your part.]

Are you mad at him or something?

[He didn't really think so but he had hoped a little.]

What? No.

[Armin frowns a little. Just the thought of being angry with Newt is... how could you be angry with Newt? He has been nothing but kind to Armin.]

I could never be angry with Mr Newt.

Sooooo what's the deal?

[You are acting very weird, Armin, and Jean raises an eyebrow at him.]

I mean, if you said you weren't talking to Dr. Ford, that would make more sense, but it's Newt you're pissy about. So why's that?

I'm not 'pissy' with him. And I don't have a reason to be angry with Mr Pines either.

[Though, admittedly, Armin could understand why someone might be. Ford just... he can be very Ford at times, and in doing so waltz over people's toes without even a thought.]

I just-- I'd just rather not, okay?

[Armin is not just going to admit to Jean that the reason he doesn't want to talk to Newt about subjects like that is because he wants to grab his stupid handsome face by the adorable freckly cheeks and kiss it. Because that is stupid. And in any case, Armin likes to stew in his misery, not just share it at any opportunity.]

Edited 2018-02-10 15:40 (UTC)

You're being weird.

[But okay, whatever. If Armin isn't talking to Newt, so be it. Jean flops back in the sand and puts an arm over his eyes.]

You're going to keep all the Wailords, aren't you?

Edited 2018-02-11 13:38 (UTC)

[Jean doesn't even know exactly how weird Armin is.]

Of course, if there are any. We'll have to find good homes for the rest of them. Or keep them ourselves.

[Deep down, this is why Armin cannot really be a breeder. It'd be weird for him to just. Sell away the offspring of his own Pokemon. Just like that. Of course, he doesn't mind them going to friends, people who he knows will treat them well, but random strangers? Nope.]

Well, it shouldn't be too hard to find homes for any Littens. People like the Pokemon that are like cats.

I wonder if these Littens will like to swim...

[Or if they'll get a Wailord that can learn Flamethrower? Now that would be a surprise power move in a gym battle!]

Edited 2018-02-19 12:23 (UTC)

Too bad Shiro already has one, or else we could've given him one.

Though maybe he won't mind a second...

[Listen, cats are an always gift for Shiro. That is just the way things are.]

Oh, but I wouldn't want Luna to get jealous.

Armin.

[Jean gets to his feet and brushes the sand off his legs.]

You can't keep every single Pokemon yours breed, you know. You'll run out of space.

I know you are technically right but, still. It feels.

[He searches for words for a moment.]

It feels like giving away important family members. I mean, they are the children of my pokemon, after all. Won't they want to see them grow up?

Edited 2018-02-21 00:28 (UTC)

I think that depends on the Pokemon. Death Chicken still likes going to see Murder Chicken whenever he can, but Blitz doesn't seem to care at all about his eggs going out into the world.

Yes, well, Blitz is Blitz.

[He can be caring in his own way, but Blitz probably just sees the distribution of his eggs as him sending troops out into the world, awaiting his command.

Which. Might actually be what he is doing.]

[That's exactly what Blitz is doing.]

Why don't you ask the Pokemon what they think? I got Strudel because Whisper Bunny chose the egg to give me. Let them have a say in it.

Video; It ain't quite Skitty on Wailord action, but still...

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