Video; It ain't quite Skitty on Wailord action, but still...

[schachmeister]

[The video turns on to Armin look a bit peeved. Not exactly angry, but there is some frustration on his face there. Like someone just gathered up every sensible law of logic and took them away from him.

He seems to be on the beach (when is he not), the sound of waves and someone howling with laughter accompanying him.]

I’m sorry to bother anyone, but I have a question I was hoping someone could answer. [a small frown.] Perhaps a breeder would know…

[He turns the camera around to focus on a cute clutch of eggs in the sand. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Just some nice poke-eggs.]

I came home from work to discover these. I suppose it was somewhat inevitable with how many Pokemon we have running around, but—

[The camera moves again to focus on an Incineroar who looks very proud of himself. In fact, when Polo realises the camera is on him, he purrs with obvious delight, thrusting out his chest. Yes. Yes, look at him. He is the one who did it. He made these happen. He is the father and very proud of it.

The camera moves to the side to focus on another very proud Pokemon. Well, part of a very proud Pokemon. Armin is too close to his Wailord to really get a proper shot of her, so mostly what is on view is the front of her massive head. She’s pushed herself partway onto the sand, slapping her giant tail on the water, letting out a half sung Wail.]

Could anyone please explain how these two managed to have a clutch of eggs? I understand about egg groups, but I cannot see how Polo managed to, well—

[Bump uglies. Do the deed. Form the beast with two backs. Sex. Armin is talking poke-sex.]

I mean, even disregarding the size difference, Polo hates water. He won’t go into it. And Amber cannot really go on land. It just—

[Armin makes a wordless noise of frustration which seems to bring forth another wave of laughter from the second person there. The camera moves once more, but this time it is less focused as if Armin is fumbling with it to turn it off. For a moment, it settles on Jean who is using one hand to wipe the tears of laughter out of his eyes, and the other to high five his Incineroar, prompting a

You aren’t helping, you know

Before Armin manages to shut off the recording entirely.]

Comments

[Video]

[findingbeasts]

[Oh Armin. You precious child.

Newt's torn between smiling and feeling bad for his friend, a sort of awkward half smile on his face when he replies to the video.]

I will never entirely understand how Pokemon are sorted into breeding groups but where I come from whales are what we call mammals--they give birth to live young. And large cats such as lions, tigers, jaguars, creatures that resemble Incineroars are also mammals so perhaps this world runs on a similar sort of logic? Not that--well back home those creatures--they don't breed together back home but, well, Pokemon are very different from even the magical creatures I cared for. This is purely a hypothesis of course.

[Video]

[schachmeister]

[Frustrated as Armin might be over this flagrant departure of logic (in his mind) when Newt responds, he cannot help but smile a bit. Usually, his hormones just add to his frustration, but right now, they are overruling it.]

No, I mean. I understand that part. I've been reading about Wailord evolution -- I mean, the evolution of their species as a whole, not their transformation from Wailmer into Wailords -- and they used to live on land, you know? Their very early ancestors. Unlike most ocean Pokemon which have evolved in the water, they actually originally left to water to live on land, then eventually returned and became what they are. It's really fascinating.

I assumed that's why they were listed in the field group as well. For historical reasons more than anything.

This is more about, uh--

[Eck. He cannot say sex. He literally cannot say sex to Newt's adorable freckled face that he wants to kiss. He would die. He's thinking about Incineroar dicks and Wailord vaginas here, that is probably weird right? Super weird.]

I mean, I guess what I am asking about is the uh... the logistics of. Uhm. The whole thing.

[Video]

[findingbeasts]

[Newt's patient, letting Armin ramble and get it all out and it slowly dawns on the wizard what's most likely going through the young man's mind. Despite how awkward Newt can be about sexual relations between humans, when it comes to animals well...this is the man that perfected the Erumpent mating dance so he has no shame when it comes to sexual relations between animals okay.

He's studied it all.]

You mean how they sexually reproduce?

[action]

[notvaljean]

[Guess who has collapsed on the sand in laughter? This guy right here. Polo stands over Jean, purring proudly, and then ducks down to rub the side of his face on Jean's head and nudge him towards Amber. Go on, she wants a high five too!]

[action]

[schachmeister]

[Armin is revoking this friendship. It's gone. He's putting it in a bottle and tossing it out into the ocean because he is done with Jean. Best friendship with Jean revoked. This rock is his new friend now.]

It's not that funny, you know.

[he says, slightly sulkily.]

[action]

[notvaljean]

[Look out, that rock might have another ill-tempered Binacle in it!]

It's pretty godsdamn funny, Armin.

[Look at how happy they are! You have a heart of stone, sir, not sharing in their joy.]

Besides, you've been talking about starting a Wailord pod for awhile now. Polo just helped you get started!

[Video]

[thenightsky]

[Excuse Noctis while he just stares for a long moment as he attempts to process this. On his shoulder sits Puff Trouble the Skitty who looks amused, maybe. It's hard to tell because he's such a stoic little guy. But there's definitely something there.]

Wait..so..Wailord...if it can breed with Incineroar..

[Oh. My. God.]

[Video]

[schachmeister]

Apparently. Somehow.

[Sorry. On any other occasion, Armin might have put together where Noctis' brain is drifting towards. But right now, he's too stuck thinking about how Amber and Polo did the do to even consider what other Pokemon Amber is able to do the do with. Like. Certain small and pink pokemon.]

[Video]

[thenightsky]

So anything in the Field group is fair game. Anything. Holy shit.

[On his shoulder, Puff fluffs his fur up before letting out a mew, tail flicking.

Yeah. That's right. He'd hit that.]

Well, uh, congrats? On the eggs. I think.

video ; glad this is how they're meeting

[guiltyeyes]

[ Nani the Hell? Mari and her Mimikyu are

confused

even if you can't see it on Ruby's face. ]

Now hang on. My Staryu can't breed with anything but if you stick a cat and a WHALE together, they can??

video ; Let him forever be immortalised in Mari's mind as 'weird poke-sex guy'

[schachmeister]

Apparently.

[Armin is this close to just rubbing his temples. When he had first arrived here, Pokemon hadn't made a lick of sense to him, but he had tried very hard to understand them. After all, there was no sense in just denying the way things worked here just because it was different from home. And Armin thought he had managed it! He really did.

Now this.]

Wailord is in the field group too. I knew she was, I just didn't think it was-- [A helpless, wordless gesture] Actually physically possible. I thought it was one of those theoretic possibilities that do not actually happen.

[Listen, he just hadn't poke-googled hard enough on HSOWA.]

video;

[shiro2hero]

[Since... he's in the house trying to repair the bed... And this is what happens. First Aron stampedes now ... whatever this is.]

If it's any consolation... I'm pretty sure Ford said it was some kind of magic.

Not.

The physical way.

video;

[schachmeister]

[They've been cursed to lead interesting poke-lives. Still. Better than home.]

Really?

[He sounds very interested. Listen, anything to explain this, in his eyes, flagrant middle finger to the laws of nature and logic.]

Can you recall exactly what he said?

video;

[shiro2hero]

I can't exactly remember. It was back when Haunter's eggs hatched.

[So... pretty much right after the whole Nightmare Woods. Which explains why his memory is foggy.]

But it was something about willing the eggs into existence? I think? Like how some of them summon up boulders and things out of nowhere.

[He brushes his hands off.] I'll look it up.

Video

[dreamsofahero]

I believe the general consensus is no one is really certain, nor does anyone particularly want to know...

Video

[schachmeister]

[Armin frowns slightly.]

I'm not sure if I can accept that sort of answer. I mean, isn't it more natural to want answers to questions?

[Well, no, he knows nobody had wanted to know what was outside the walls back home, but at least there was danger in learning that sort of thing. Far less danger in learning how pokemon bone, even if it was a bit of a weird subject.]

Re: Video

[dreamsofahero]

*it was a joke, Armin, don't make him explain the joke!*

Well, frankly, even the locals don't know exactly how it's done, and the pokemon themselves are less than forthcoming. However, I would guess that it's by a method somewhat different than what other worlds or living creatures use. Given the sheer size differences of some of the compatible species, that's perhaps the only plausible explanation, and it's certainly true that pokemon are capable of a number of "impossible" things as it is.

Video

[rambling_runner]

[ Ash had just gotten home and this had happened. And he's here to...'''help'''.

As a man who was raised by seal-people. ]

Well man, when you truly love someone or wanna get with them, you can ignore certain stuff like a little bit of water. Also whales and dolphins and animals like that can beach themselves, so maybe Amber came up to shore and Polo helped her back into the water after?

Listen what I'm saying is, you can get creative when you wanna get laid.

Video

[schachmeister]

I wasn't aware they wanted-- wanted to do that. There weren't any signs.

[It's not like Donner and Blitz or Nemesis and Burrito where he is well aware those pokemon are into each other. Even Bailey and Amadeus had given him slightly more hints than Amber and Polo had.]

Video

[rambling_runner]

I mean, sometimes they don't. I think it's not like, always a fixed thing with Pokemon; I ever tell you about the time me and Noctis found a bunch of eggs from our Pokemon?

We eventually figured out the pairings and they weren't all in love. It seemed like they just wanted to do that and went for it. T-Pain got together with two of Noctis' mons, who are both massive and super destructive. Apparently he's got a type. But they don't hang out a lot or anything even now. Bit like when people have random, one-night stands. Only with Pokemon they have one night stands that make eggs which sometimes they wanna look after, sometimes they don't. Like...well, An Tintreach had a bunch of eggs with Noctis' Bewear. Which doesn't have the same size difference you got on your hands but that bear is like, six foot something and you've seen An Tintreach. Anyway, they had eggs and I kept one thinking it'd be a baby Bewear but it wasn't. Either way, she helps looks after that little Pichu, and the one Noctis kept. Not quite in the same way as a mum but she still looks out for her and I've seen her teaching them stuff from time to time.

[ He shrugs after going on that tangent. ] But like, this is the way I see it; Amber and Polo haven't hurt anyone and cos the baby's in an egg and all, you can either look after it yourself and give it all the love it needs, or give it to someone who wants it and will give it all the love it needs. So there's no harm done at all.

[video]

[unconchonable]

... What is with you humans and OBSESSIN' ower these beasts fillin' pails? I hawe had one too many conwersations regardin' such a subject, and now you gotta go and add more absurdity to it.

[EYE ROLL + GROAN]

Look, fine, your little creatures wanted to go and fill a pail or two while you weren't trying to snoop on them like some deranged perwert, but why do you gotta come to us to try to fill in what you missed with our collectiwe imaginations?

You humans are fuckin' deplorable.

[video]

[schachmeister]

I wasn't trying--

[To be a perwert-- pervert.

Armin pauses. Defending himself is just going to make him sound like an absolute pervert, isn't it? Something about people who protest too loudly.]

I do not think it is deplorable to want to understand how something works. Even-- Even about a subject like this.

[video]

[unconchonable]

Oh yeah? An' why do you wanna know, precisely?

[Eridan is staring down his nose at you, Armin!!]

I can only imagine the reasons anyone would giwe a bloody fuck on the hows and whys of animal procreation, and none of them flatterin', eff-why-aye.

video

[forsaintcecilia]

...Incineroar and Wailord can have babies?

[Excuse Kazuki for a moment while he looks up those two Pokemon in his gear's dex... Yup, field group. Makes sense for Incineroar, who starts out as a little cat, but Wailord? That thing isn't spending any time on the ground!]

Geez Armin, I dunno! That's, uh...

[Kazuki's obviously thinking about the physical logistics of the matter himself, and-- yep, there he goes. He's blushing.]

video

[schachmeister]

Apparently. It's--

[Armin just. Scrubs his face for a moment. Because this is a lot to mentally wrap his whole brain around.]

I thought I had started to understand the pokemon here enough not to be surprised like this anymore.