Video

[thedifferencebetween]

[The feed opens on an extremely well groomed Debutante cut Furfrou sitting in front of a literal dog bed. As in, a four poster canopy bed that is dog sized. The Furfrou herself is wearing a fancy faux diamond studded collar with a heart pendant, has painted toes, and an un-traditionally long tail for the particular style. The tail has been braided. It's difficult to tell, but she may be wearing fake eyelashes.]

[The 'gear shifts, and there's Handsome Jack's grinning, masked face.]

Her name is Taylor Swift and she's perfect.

Next one of those contest things that comes around? Y'all better watch out for this bitch.

Comments

[keep_surviving]

[Diana is so baffled about what the hell she's seeing.]

What the hell did you do to that dog? It's got fake lashes on!

[thedifferencebetween]

I took her to the groomer and got the deluxe package. Then we went shopping for accessories. She's beautiful!

[keep_surviving]

You took a dog and made it a hot mess. Why does it have its own room?

[thedifferencebetween]

Excuse me, she's gorgeous now! And she loved it. And she has her own bed, not her own room, her bed is in me and Felix's room.

Hey, can foofy dogs and bone dogs hook up? She and Havoc would have beautiful babies someday. Stick'em together, they look like a friggin doggie celebrity couple.

[keep_surviving]

[Sighs.] So long as you're happy, Pops.

Erm... I think all dogs can 'hook up'? I dunno. The only puppy Merwin's made is Patty, as far as I can tell.

[Merwin being her own Houndoom and Patty being a Growlithe.]

And Lamb and Joy made the dogs you got. So, I think so long as they're dog looking it's fine?

Think Vani's Houndoom's had eggs before, you could ask him.

[thedifferencebetween]

I'm thrilled! I love her, sweetheart! Gonna teach her to dance.

Huh, good to know! Yeah, maybe I will, I dunno how the whole...thing works. I couldn't even tell ya what the genders of half of mine are.

[keep_surviving]

... But she's a dog.

[Look, she's real pleased you're loving her present. But there's a limit here.]

Where's the other one I sent you? And Fifi Jr?

You know your gear will tell you that, right?

[thedifferencebetween]

So what? Dogs can't dance? Pretty sure there's a whole cartoon movie about how they can if they want to.

Oh, they're doing good! Still trying to think of a name for the scruffy dude. Fifi Jr's around here somewhere, I got him an orange and black bandana but I dunno if Felix'll put it on'im.

Eh. Does it really matter for most of'em?

[keep_surviving]

I think you probably just saw an advertisement while drunk, Pops.

Well, you should put it on 'em anyway. Has Havoc tried to eat them yet?

I mean, they might not like being called the wrong thing. It's like if I started calling you 'Moms'. Hell, you don't even like it when I call you and Felix 'married'.

[thedifferencebetween]

I did not, I know what I'm talking about.

Nah, Havoc's been pretty cool. He got kinda aggressive with the little scruffy dude, but normal dog aggressive. Just pinned him down and made it clear he's the boss.

Okay, no, no, Felix doesn't like it when anybody uses the 'M' word. I respect my not!husband's wishes. That doesn't mean I agree, it just means I respect him and his crippling psychological issues.

And I'm pretty sure for half these types of Pokemon, gender really doesn't matter.

[keep_surviving]

No. You definitely saw a thing on the TV while intoxicated and decided it was real.

That's oddly nice of him. What about DB?

The scruffy one was a girl, Pops. And yeah, yeah, don't say 'married' to FiFi, I know.

I think it kinda does? Do you wanna start calling Havoc a girl and see how he takes it?

[thedifferencebetween]

No, it was one of the zillion movies I watched with Angel when she was really little. And I probably wasn't that drunk when I saw it.

He's getting better. Boner's being a whiny little baby like always. Taylor Swift likes him, though.

Whatever. The scruffy one's the only one who tried to interact with Havoc.

I said most of them. I don't think rocks or mushrooms or rings of keys give a shit about gender.

[keep_surviving]

Yes, Pops. Whatever you say, Pops. I'm sure this was't due to substance abuse, Pops.

[A superior smirk comes across Diana's face.] Oh, she does, huh? Maybe you will get some puppies then.

I only have 2 that don't say male or female. One's the molted shell of another Pokemon and the other's a starfish so I dunno about the 'most' thing.

[thedifferencebetween]

Am I gonna have to start asking around to prove this to you? I swear, there's a whole friggin movie about how animals can dance if they want to.

Ha ha, doubtful.

I didn't say most didn't have gender, just that I think most don't care that much. I find it difficult to believe a literal chunk of rock with 0 defining sexual charactersitics either way is that invested in their gender identity.

[keep_surviving]

There's a movie about a fish swimming across the ocean to Australia to save his son from a dentist. Doesn't mean it actually happens. [Diana using a parenting tone here.]

Ha ha, you don't get a say.

See Lana? [She moves her camera to show of her lead dog. A majestic looking Midday Lycanroc who sits calmly and stoically.] This is her boyfriend. [Switch to a Midnight Lycanroc laying on its back, tongue lolling out with a dopey expression on its face as puppies clamber all over him.]

A lot of pretty girls like the funny guys.

[thedifferencebetween]

You don't know that. We're talking Pokemon here, Pokemon...princess, look at'em. They're the real life stars of every kiddy animal movie ever made! You think a spunky Goldeen isn't gonna go on a great adventure across the ocean to rescue it's kid if some bad trainer catches it?

Taylor Swift has better taste than a pea-brain encased in blubber.

Boner's not funny, he's just a lazy idiot.

[keep_surviving]

I still think there's a limit. But that's not really a thing for you so...

He's kinda funny.

Man, you are gonna get some chubby puppies.

[thedifferencebetween]

Limits are for boring and lazy people.

Funny looking.

There's not gonna be any puppies.

[keep_surviving]

That's still funny.

Uh huh. That's what everyone says. Have fun with all those kids, Pops.