Ceilidh McCallum (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
queen_stabbity) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
victory_road2018-03-18 07:35 pm
queen_stabbity) wrote in victory_road2018-03-18 07:35 pm
Entry tags:
The More You Know
[The camera clicks on and on screen is a pidgey wearing a green ribbon. She blinks at the camera as Ceilidh's voice comes from elsewhere.]
Today on True Facts About Pokemon we're going to discuss the Pidgey.
Pidgies are birds with brown and tan coloring and resemble a strange cross between a hawk and a sparrow. They are about point three meters in height and can weigh around one point eight kilograms.
Their wing span is easily large enough to allow them long distance flights.
[The pidgey obligingly spreads out her wings and flies around in a short circle before landing.]
While some people think that seeds, grains, nuts and fruits are their favorite foods, this is, a lie. While they can subsist on those foods a pidgey's favorite food is, in fact, peoples' souls. Whenever you see a group of pidgies hanging around a person and going through their shadow, the pidgies are partaking in their yummy, yummy soul by nibbling on their shadow.
Their favorite types of souls are those of office workers, football players, that stupid person in third year that you knew, people named Agnes and ritual mages. However, they are not picky and will take what they can get. They will refuse to eat the souls of anyone who has eaten beans lately. So, if you wish to keep your soul uneaten, you must regularly eat beans of any type. As long as it has the word "bean" in the name it'll work.
[A bean is offered to the pidgie and it swquaks irritably, banishing the bean with a flap of her wings.]
A pidgie's favorite activity is to take long flights where upon it can gaze at all the world. Pidgies believe that if they can see it, it will eventually be theirs.
They are, despite what they might tell you, trying to take over the world. That's why there's so many of them. They're building an ARMY of them, everywhere! AND NO ONE WILL BE READY FOR WHEN THE PIDGEY REVOLUTION HAPPENS!!
[She takes a deep breath after having yelled dramatically there.]
If you wish to prevent pidgies from taking over the world then you're out of luck. They're everywhere.
They're watching you.
They know where you are.
They know what you do.
They know where the keys to your car or home are and will take them from you.
And then...
And then on that fateful day they will herd all the people into factories where they can harvest your souls to eat and enjoy having soul-less humans at their beck and call. Turning the TV channels for them, spraying them with water for a bath and chasing cats away from them.
Pidgies do enjoy a shower more than a bath and spraying them with water is considered to be quite pleasant. If you're doing the dishes or taking a shower you can spray them so they can clean themselves. A dedicated squirt bottle can also be used.
[Her voice turns raspy.]
If you see a pidgey with two shadows run.
[The camera turns off and Ceilidh's voice returns to its normal tone.]
That concludes our true facts about pidgies episode. I hope you found it informative. More in this series will be released eventually.
Next in the series is the murkrow.
Today on True Facts About Pokemon we're going to discuss the Pidgey.
Pidgies are birds with brown and tan coloring and resemble a strange cross between a hawk and a sparrow. They are about point three meters in height and can weigh around one point eight kilograms.
Their wing span is easily large enough to allow them long distance flights.
[The pidgey obligingly spreads out her wings and flies around in a short circle before landing.]
While some people think that seeds, grains, nuts and fruits are their favorite foods, this is, a lie. While they can subsist on those foods a pidgey's favorite food is, in fact, peoples' souls. Whenever you see a group of pidgies hanging around a person and going through their shadow, the pidgies are partaking in their yummy, yummy soul by nibbling on their shadow.
Their favorite types of souls are those of office workers, football players, that stupid person in third year that you knew, people named Agnes and ritual mages. However, they are not picky and will take what they can get. They will refuse to eat the souls of anyone who has eaten beans lately. So, if you wish to keep your soul uneaten, you must regularly eat beans of any type. As long as it has the word "bean" in the name it'll work.
[A bean is offered to the pidgie and it swquaks irritably, banishing the bean with a flap of her wings.]
A pidgie's favorite activity is to take long flights where upon it can gaze at all the world. Pidgies believe that if they can see it, it will eventually be theirs.
They are, despite what they might tell you, trying to take over the world. That's why there's so many of them. They're building an ARMY of them, everywhere! AND NO ONE WILL BE READY FOR WHEN THE PIDGEY REVOLUTION HAPPENS!!
[She takes a deep breath after having yelled dramatically there.]
If you wish to prevent pidgies from taking over the world then you're out of luck. They're everywhere.
They're watching you.
They know where you are.
They know what you do.
They know where the keys to your car or home are and will take them from you.
And then...
And then on that fateful day they will herd all the people into factories where they can harvest your souls to eat and enjoy having soul-less humans at their beck and call. Turning the TV channels for them, spraying them with water for a bath and chasing cats away from them.
Pidgies do enjoy a shower more than a bath and spraying them with water is considered to be quite pleasant. If you're doing the dishes or taking a shower you can spray them so they can clean themselves. A dedicated squirt bottle can also be used.
[Her voice turns raspy.]
If you see a pidgey with two shadows run.
[The camera turns off and Ceilidh's voice returns to its normal tone.]
That concludes our true facts about pidgies episode. I hope you found it informative. More in this series will be released eventually.
Next in the series is the murkrow.
[Video]
That was hilarious.
Re: [Video]
I have no idea what you're talking about.
[Video]
[Mabel drops her hand and grins, squinting at the other girl.]
You'd fit right in back home in Gravity Falls! There's lots of people there that come up with really weird stories. [A pause.] Most of it's true.
Re: [Video]
A lot of my really weird stories are true. People just don't believe me because they're really weird. McCallums tend to lead really exciting lives.
[Video]
Mabel squints now.]
Pretty sure that story was made up. I haven't been here that long but I've seen a lot of Pidgeys and they've all been...plain old birds.
Re: [Video]
Well... I'm just reporting what Belladonna told me.
[She gestures to the Pidgey in the green ribbon. The bird gives Mabel an imperious look... as imperious look that a Pidgey can give. Which probably isn't very good as it is a Pidgey.]
Also, they do want you to think they're plain old birds. Hiding in plain sight and everything.
[Video]
[Mabel says it slowly, just to make sure she's getting that right, looking between the pair.]
Re: [Video]
[Video]
If you say so! Pretty sure your Pidgey is messing with you though!
Re: [Video]
I know. But it's funny and fun to do. It works really well when you do it perfectly straight and continue to act like it's true even when people call you on it.
[She only tells this to Mabel because she's another girl and girls need to stick together.]
[Video]
[She can't really get on her case too much because it is what Grunkle Stan did with the Mystery Shack but...]
That's kind of a bad first impression isn't it?
Re: [Video]
I thought it'd be fun to do it here.
[Video]
[She beams again.]
You should do them like radio shows though! They'd be more dramatic and spooky that way!
[She holds her hands up and wiggles her fingers.]
Then people have to try and imagine the Pokemon and they'll come up with all sorts of weird things.
Re: [Video]
Hmm... I'm not trying for spooky though. Not every Pokemon is going to want to try and take over the world!
One of the videos I did back home was about Mayhem, one of our cats, and him eating things. Which isn't scary.
[She paused.]
Well, it's scary if you've got things you don't want Mayhem to eat. We've lost a lot of stuff to him because he can't tell the difference between things he's allowed to eat and things he's not allowed to eat.