Jane Crocker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cyan_maid) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
victory_road2016-07-18 12:36 pm
cyan_maid) wrote in victory_road2016-07-18 12:36 pm
1st Recipe [New Bark Town, Video/Action]
[Video]
[There are a lot of things you don't expect when you're Jane Crocker. You don't expect the entire world to shift scenes in the blink of an eye, floating in the ruins of a golden moon one second and waking up in what looks to be a normal, sunny bedroom the next. You don't expect some woman whom you've never seen before in your entire life to come in, claim to be your mother, shove a backpack into your arms and kick you out of the house with vague directions to a - a laboratory? And you certainly don't expect to be given what you're darn tootin' sure is a Pokeball once you get there, and as soon as you go, are again booted out towards the only dirt road outta town: Route 29.
So forgive her if she spent the last night in town, pounding on the door of her "mother"'s house and demanding to be let back in and given an explanation. When her video comes on this morning, it shows a very tired, bespectacled teenage girl with prominent buck teeth looking about 110% done with everything around her.]
...Okay, it's on. I think. [She squints, as if looking for something on the Pokegear to in fact indicate it is on, before continuing.] Um...hello? I'm basically going on a hunch that this...weird thing can be used as a communicator of sorts. Almost like FaceTime on a smartphone, right? I-I really hope so, or else I'm making calls into the goshdarned aether. [She sighs, shaking her head.] Anyway. If someone out there knows exactly how someone can wake up in what should very well be a video game that isn't supposed to suck you into a virtual reality, and if there's a way for me to leave, I'd greatly appreciate it. I...was sort of in the middle of something. [A look of hesitance crosses her face, as if...she may be asking to go back, but she sure as fuck doesn't want to at the moment.] I'll be in this...New Bark Town place for a little longer, if you need to know where I am.
- Oh, and, one more thing? [The video blurs as it shifts to a very pink creature that's quietly munching on some trail mix by Jane's side.] Not that she isn't cute, but, um...is this really a Pokemon?
[Action]
[True to her word, Jane lingers in town for the day. The pink Pokemon - Audino, her Pokedex has explained - seems happy to sit nearby and play with the hood on her unusual attire. This seems to be proving endearing enough to get Jane to smile despite herself, but given how warily she looks at the natives, it seems she'd do well with some sort of human conversation that doesn't tend to repeat itself.]
[There are a lot of things you don't expect when you're Jane Crocker. You don't expect the entire world to shift scenes in the blink of an eye, floating in the ruins of a golden moon one second and waking up in what looks to be a normal, sunny bedroom the next. You don't expect some woman whom you've never seen before in your entire life to come in, claim to be your mother, shove a backpack into your arms and kick you out of the house with vague directions to a - a laboratory? And you certainly don't expect to be given what you're darn tootin' sure is a Pokeball once you get there, and as soon as you go, are again booted out towards the only dirt road outta town: Route 29.
So forgive her if she spent the last night in town, pounding on the door of her "mother"'s house and demanding to be let back in and given an explanation. When her video comes on this morning, it shows a very tired, bespectacled teenage girl with prominent buck teeth looking about 110% done with everything around her.]
...Okay, it's on. I think. [She squints, as if looking for something on the Pokegear to in fact indicate it is on, before continuing.] Um...hello? I'm basically going on a hunch that this...weird thing can be used as a communicator of sorts. Almost like FaceTime on a smartphone, right? I-I really hope so, or else I'm making calls into the goshdarned aether. [She sighs, shaking her head.] Anyway. If someone out there knows exactly how someone can wake up in what should very well be a video game that isn't supposed to suck you into a virtual reality, and if there's a way for me to leave, I'd greatly appreciate it. I...was sort of in the middle of something. [A look of hesitance crosses her face, as if...she may be asking to go back, but she sure as fuck doesn't want to at the moment.] I'll be in this...New Bark Town place for a little longer, if you need to know where I am.
- Oh, and, one more thing? [The video blurs as it shifts to a very pink creature that's quietly munching on some trail mix by Jane's side.] Not that she isn't cute, but, um...is this really a Pokemon?
[Action]
[True to her word, Jane lingers in town for the day. The pink Pokemon - Audino, her Pokedex has explained - seems happy to sit nearby and play with the hood on her unusual attire. This seems to be proving endearing enough to get Jane to smile despite herself, but given how warily she looks at the natives, it seems she'd do well with some sort of human conversation that doesn't tend to repeat itself.]
[Text]
I'm assuming the calendar is different for trolls?
[Text]
WE MEASURE BY SEASONS AND PERIGEES AND SO ON. YOU KNOW, LIKE AN ACTUALLY FUCKING SENSIBLE SPECIES.
YOUR DATES, MEANWHILE, ARE COMPLETELY FUCKING ARBITRARY AND TELL NOTHING TO NO ONE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT POINT IN YOUR YEAR A PARTICULAR DATE ACTUALLY FALLS WITH RESPECT TO YOUR ACTUAL PLANETARY ORBIT.
YOUR "YEARS" MAKE SENSE AND I AM GRATIFIED BEYOND BELIEF THAT YOUR HAVE TWELVE "MONTHS" TO BEGIN WITH, BUT THE WAY THEY'RE DIVIDED? WHO THE FUCK WAS IN CHARGE OF THAT. DO YOU EVEN KNOW?
[Text] sorry my unabashed love for anything remotely anthropological is showing
It's very weird.
Hmm. As I recall, there are actually a few different calendars that societies on Earth would go by.
I think they all tried to match up with the cycles of the moon, or the positions of stars, or just the plain old seasons.
But then the Romans introduced a calendar of their own, and since they had taken over a majority of the civilized world a long time ago, that stuck - and then the Christians changed THAT one, and since that was the religion that made up a third of the population of Earth, it kind of stuck.
There's still holidays carried over from a lot of older beliefs that got twisted and changed, and I suppose they could be markers of where the months are supposed to go.
You know, things like Easter and Christmas and Halloween...
Oh, goodness! I've went and typed up a whole ramble on it. Sorry, I guess my mind got away from me for a minute there!
Basically, the short version is: one calendar system beat out the others to be most prevalent, and nobody's bothered to change it in a very long time.
[Text]
OK THAT SOUNDS REALLY FUCKING COMPLICATED BUT YOUR SUMMARY GETS THE POINT ACROSS.
BASICALLY HUMANS ARE RIDICULOUS AND CAN'T AGREE ON ANYTHING UP UNTIL SOME FUCKING OBNOXIOUS MAJORITY FORCES EVERYONE TO DO THINGS THEIR WAY, ALL WHILE PAYING LIP SERVICE TO WHATEVER THE MINORITY WANTED JUST TO SHUT UP ANY DISSENTERS AND PRETEND THEY'RE BEING INCLUSIVE AND LISTENING TO OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS. RIGHT?
[Text]
Uh...yes, actually.
You hit the nail on the head, at least in that sort of light.
[Text]
TYPICAL HUMANS, THEN. OR I GUESS TYPICAL ANYONE.
MAYBE NOT AS MUCH WITH TROLLS ON A LARGE SCALE BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING HEMOSPECTRUM, BUT I'VE SEEN SIMILAR SHIT PLAY OUT IN SMALL GROUPS. SO I GUESS OUR SPECIES HAVE THAT IN COMMON.
[Text]
A shame that it keeps happening.
[What the fuck is a hemospectrum - wait no that can wait for another day.]
[Text]