1st Recipe [New Bark Town, Video/Action]

[cyan_maid]

[Video]

[There are a lot of things you don't expect when you're Jane Crocker. You don't expect the entire world to shift scenes in the blink of an eye, floating in the ruins of a golden moon one second and waking up in what looks to be a normal, sunny bedroom the next. You don't expect some woman whom you've never seen before in your entire life to come in, claim to be your mother, shove a backpack into your arms and kick you out of the house with vague directions to a - a laboratory? And you certainly don't expect to be given what you're darn tootin' sure is a Pokeball once you get there, and as soon as you go, are again booted out towards the only dirt road outta town: Route 29.

So forgive her if she spent the last night in town, pounding on the door of her "mother"'s house and demanding to be let back in and given an explanation. When her video comes on this morning, it shows a very tired, bespectacled teenage girl with prominent buck teeth looking about 110% done with everything around her.]

...Okay, it's on. I think. [She squints, as if looking for something on the Pokegear to in fact indicate it is on, before continuing.] Um...hello? I'm basically going on a hunch that this...weird thing can be used as a communicator of sorts. Almost like FaceTime on a smartphone, right? I-I really hope so, or else I'm making calls into the goshdarned aether. [She sighs, shaking her head.] Anyway. If someone out there knows exactly how someone can wake up in what should very well be a video game that isn't supposed to suck you into a virtual reality, and if there's a way for me to leave, I'd greatly appreciate it. I...was sort of in the middle of something. [A look of hesitance crosses her face, as if...she may be asking to go back, but she sure as fuck doesn't want to at the moment.] I'll be in this...New Bark Town place for a little longer, if you need to know where I am.

- Oh, and, one more thing? [The video blurs as it shifts to a very pink creature that's quietly munching on some trail mix by Jane's side.] Not that she isn't cute, but, um...is this really a Pokemon?

[Action]

[True to her word, Jane lingers in town for the day. The pink Pokemon - Audino, her Pokedex has explained - seems happy to sit nearby and play with the hood on her unusual attire. This seems to be proving endearing enough to get Jane to smile despite herself, but given how warily she looks at the natives, it seems she'd do well with some sort of human conversation that doesn't tend to repeat itself.]

Comments

[Video]

[monge]

[Komasan was all set to explain how everyone gets to go home eventually, that everything will be okay honest, how she should just enjoy her time here while she can.

But then Audino happened.]

Monge...

[Look at it eat. Quick, someone feed it something else.]

I hope that's a Pokemon, because it's one of the cutest ones I've ever seen, zura...

[Video]

[cyan_maid]

[The Audino is absolutely still nibbling on bits of trail mix when Jane sends back another response - so it's like instant messaging, but with videos? Interesting.]

When I saw the Pokeball that I was given, I was operating under the assumption that there were only one-hundred and fifty-one species. Granted, I wasn't terribly invested in the games when they came out, but...this one is definitely not related to the two cuddly pink ones.

[The Audino's ears twitch, and it pauses, looking into the Pokegear curiously.] Aud?

But, ah, cuteness aside...hello! Do tell me you know a way for me to get back home...

[Video]

[monge]

[As if in some sort of trance, Komasan continues to just...eye the Audino once he sees she's still there, enamored by the simple act of eating. His eyes, they sparkle, and it's literally a few good seconds before he says anything again.

...Mostly thanks to his own Pokemon. A tiny tail pokes out from the bag he carries on his shoulders and in one swift movement, gives a gentle slap to the back of his head.

Right! Conversations...]

O-Oh, um...well, if I knew a way outta here, I would've been home a long time ago, zura...

video;

[gainedlove]

Um, I don't think anybody knows how t' get home...I asked a lot, but everybody says you just gotta wait.

[At least they look apologetic considering the information they have to offer?]

[Video]

[cyan_maid]

[A-Aw, it's a kid. Jane's response comes with a gentle smile; it may not be the news she wants to hear, but is that the kid's fault? Of course not.]

I see. Thank you for telling me - though I wish it didn't involve waiting. I've been doing a whole lot of that lately, and it gets surprisingly tiring.

[Beside her, you can still see the Audino steadily making her way through the bag of trail-mix, slowly nibbling on each piece. Is that...even safe for her to eat?]

[gainedlove]

[Eh, Buddy regularly eats trash he finds on the ground, it can't be that bad for her!]

Mmm, but it's pretty fun here, so you won't get bored! Um, th' pink monster's supposed t' be your partner, an' you can go 'round makin' friends with everyone! An' you don't gotta wait for the roads t' get all clean, 'cuz we did that already!

[video]

[harlequinhater]

Hi Nanna!

[Well, at least there's a familiar face here, even if he might be younger and less taxidermied than Jane remembers him. John didn't get much of an opportunity to talk to his teenage grandma-slash-mother in the game, but he is definitely psyched to have a chance to talk now.]

There isn't a way to leave that anybody here knows about, but try not to think about it too hard. Time is paused in your original universe while we go and have Pokemon journeys here. So just think of it like... a vacation or something! You get to have fun Pokemon adventures here while Sburb gets put on hold. Everything will be just like you left it when you get back.

And yes, that is a Pokemon. There are lots of weird Pokemon. Your pink thing is not even the weirdest one!

[Video] 1/2

[cyan_maid]

Huh?

[The wide-eyed blinking going on in Jane's response is nothing short of confused. This boy, he...called her "Nanna"? And he looks so familiar, though she's sure she hasn't met him. And he brought up Sburb...]

[Video] 2/2

[cyan_maid]

[Wait. WAIT.]

Y-you're...you must be my...Poppop? My teen Poppop?!

[Yeah that's pretty much the only thing that stuck out of everything he said. The Audino at her side just tilts its head and listens.]

[video]

[harlequinhater]

Yeah, that's me! I guess we must not have met each other yet when you're from.

[A pause.]

Speaking of which, when are you from? Either way, you're going to have to deal with all kinds of dumb timeline shenanigans. It seems like Pokemons can't decide when it wants to take us out of the timeline for our adventure vacation.

[video]

[captainash]

[First, the important bit.]

Audinos are great. Not so much for direct damage, but they can easily turn a battle around with their other moves. Love her, and she'll never let you down.

[And now, the rest.]

There's no way for you to get home unless you're randomly sent back, though. But this occurs about every two weeks, so you can be assured that this is relatively normal and that your message is reaching plenty of people.

[Video]

[cyan_maid]

[Audino - that WAS what the Pokemon kept saying, and they're supposed to repeat their names, so that must be what she has - though Jane's never heard of one before today. She listens curiously to the man's explanation, while the Audino in question looks at it, then at Jane, as if this is the first time it's hearing something about battle before.]

This...appearing here thing is normal? So, I may not be the only person who's just arrived...but, does anyone know why?

[Video]

[captainash]

Not really. We're expected to train Pokémon, but never actually forced to do it. And some Legendary asked for our help once, but that was years after people started arriving.

[There's planning ahead, and there's planning ahead.]

video;

[brocrux]

Holy shit, Jane.

[ Not his best greeting, by far. But he's so massively relieved to see her. There she is. Jane Crocker, prankster extraordinaire, master of the kitchen and best friend after three months of unfamiliarity in a Pokemon game. There is absolutely no backtracking that half-laughed out 'Holy Shit' or that he has an unrestrained smile on his face that's taking its time fading back into that defaulted stoicism. He is so happy to see her. Everyone else is great but this is someone from his group. He probably owes her some sort of life debt for being able to put his head on straight and putting up with everyone's bullshit. The least he could do is make Pokemon easier for her.

The location was useful. He's already running routes through his head. What's the quickest way over there? Dave has a teleporting Pokemon but he isn't sure of the range. The centers have transportalizers but she would still have to go to Cherrygrove...]

Be glad you showed up your taupe god attire because "Mom" didn't pack pajamas.

[Video]

[cyan_maid]

[The last thing Jane was expecting was to hear a familiar voice or see a familiar face on this thing. Sure, technically her teen Poppop was totally familiar, but at the same time he wasn't, you know? He was a stuffed cadaver for as long as she could remember. Dirk is someone she knows. Dirk is a dear friend. Dirk was just talking with her through text as Prospit and Derse's moons started to shake and rumble.]

D...Dirk?!

[The question of pajamas can be talked about later. Right now it's friend time.]

Is...that's really you?!

[quadrangle]

[





oh

oh fuck no

Karkat isn't entirely irrational. Really, he isn't. Stop laughing. He knows the chances that this, uh, whatever the fuck her name was is likely not still being mind-controlled because why the hell would she be when Jade hadn't been on her arrival and this. Random. Ex-evil girl? Whatever-her-name-is is neither glaring at her PokéGear nor speaking in that awful, deliberate way that probably means that someone, probably him, is going to wind up with a chest full of culling fork, but even so.

... Okay, maybe he's being a little irrational.

Either way, there's no chance in hell he's responding via anything other than text.]

YOU THERE. JADE'S ANCESTOR.
YOU ARE JADE'S ANCESTOR, RIGHT? OR HOWEVER THE FUCK HUMAN BIOLOGY WORKS, THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT
PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE'S ALREADY GIVEN YOU THE RUNDOWN, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT SHIT.
AND UH
HELLO. I'M KARKAT. DO YOU REMEMBER MEETING ME OR
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR LAST MEMORY ANYWAY?

[Text] it's okay inflict all the multi-comments and white space on me it's gr8

[cyan_maid]

[Okay. Um. A text response. Cool! Great. Very familiar territory. But why is this person talking to her...like they might know something about her? She's never exactly had the chance to make the weird and confusing relations situation public to any sort of group, after all. They're also talking about timeline things, and they're using colored text with...a very aggressive quirk? Guess these things have a caps lock function after all.]

If Jade is Jake's Grandma, then according to what's been explained to me in the past? Yes, I am probably related to her in some preceding fashion.
And yes again, I've been getting the basic explanation that no, I can't leave, and I'm in another gosh darned video game, but this one has a dear, sweet pink thing as a predetermined friend for me. Ergo, a marked improvement from my previous situation.
But I would have remembered meeting someone called Karkat, so no, I'm sorry to say I don't know you - or, well, now I do, I guess?
The last thing I remember is going God Tier and floating in what used to be Prospit's moon. Does that mean anything to you?




And is this going to be a common question amongst people who I know, or who know me? Jimmeny crickets, next time I'll preface a post with that information.

[Video]

[awesmazings]

You're live, no worries! To me and everybody else on the Network, actually.

And yeah, Audino is totally a Pokemon! I mean, what else would it be?

[Because you know...animals don't exist in Pokemon-world. This is one of the ones who actually knows Pokemon though, so that's a lot of Jimmy's work in explaining taken away already!

Unsurprisingly though...he gets distracted before he can actually ask if Jane needs more assistance than the response she's been given.]

By the way...what's FaceTime?

[Video]

[cyan_maid]

[Alright, another person on here - another normal person she's never met before, that's good. It's getting a bit weird, having people who know you or of you popping up all over the place. Jane looks visibly relieved.]

I'm not sure. It wasn't one of the ones I'd ever heard of, so you'll have to forgive me for being confused.

FaceTime? It's a relatively new phone application. [This coming from a girl from 2011, when the app was released in 2010.] It allows you to have a video chat with someone over your phone - but this doodad is a lot more than just a phone, obviously.

[Video]

[garbagechild]

I don't know what a lot of your words mean!

But I can answer your question, because I'm very helpful: Yes.

<sub>[Wrath, in all his helpful glory, proceeds to sit back, pleased as punch.]

[He declines to mention which question he was actually answering.]

[(It was about Audino being a Pokemon.)]</sub>

[Video]

[cyan_maid]

[Oh, it's another kid on here. Well, that makes sense, Pokemon journeys are apparently supposed to be for ten year olds. Jane leans closer to the video, a little confused.]

Not that I don't appreciate your help, but...yes to what?

video;

[pipers_son]

Ha- if ya don't think that's a Pokemon, wait 'til ya see the other.... Cor, I can't even remember how many there are. Although it makes me wonder if we'll be gettin' anymore swarms a new ones sometime soon...

[Video]

[cyan_maid]

I've just never seen one like this before. I thought there were only supposed to be about one hundred and fifty of them?

video

[islandshore]

[Here we have a total stranger. Young man, about twenty-one after all these years spent in Pokéland. He gives the Audino a brief glance, then chuckles. He's seen 'em before, and by Pokémon standards, they're pretty tame.]

Let me guess. You never saw one of those in the games, right? You'll probably run into a lot of those.

[Video]

[cyan_maid]

[Well that sure isn't something she expects to hear, either.]

Yes - that's it exactly! But why would there be lots of these?