victory_road |

[Look at that beautiful sunset. The orange sun hunkering down on the horizon, its reflection glittering on the surface of the salty sea, the sound of Wingulls flying overheard in search of dinner. There's nothing Lance has missed more about being back on Earth than this, other than his mom, of course.]

Hey guys?

[But watch as he ruins it by pulling the gear away from the gorgeous sight and pointing the camera to a round hump in the water closer to shore. It's a fine hump. A very fine purple hump with blowhole up top where, as if on cue, water sprays out and the hump rolls over to reveal the face of a whale that looks all too pleased with itself.]

So I ran into this Pokemon just now and it's okay and all... I mean, the 'gear says it's a Wailmer, but something's wrong with it. It doesn't look like the one in the picture. Is something wrong with it? Is it sick? Do Pokemon get sick? Do we have to vaccinate our Pokemon like we have to do dogs? Because man, I am not ready for some vet bills, let me tell you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Pokémon do get sick, which doesn't involve vet bills by the way, but that's no illness. It just means you're just very, very lucky.

[Lance audibly sighs because who knows what getting a sick whale treated would cost. Starmiebucks doesn't pay that much!]

I guess the hot nurse who doesn't care about anybody but Pokemon takes care of that, right?

[Someone's a little salty she didn't response to his cornball pick-up lines, but it doesn't last long.]

So I heard! Maybe I should hit up a casino and try my luck even farther. I always wanted to be a high roller.

[Suck to be you, Lance. Some "concerned parents" made them get rid of the slots at the Game Corner, so no rolling anything for you.]

Along with her fifty equally married to the job cousins, yes.

[Might as well destroy his hopes before they can rise.]

Might work. Or it might be a sign you've just used up all your luck for the year, but you can't tell until you try.

They look the same and act the same. You'd think there'd be at least one who's gone rogue. Maybe they're all just clones like some bad sci-fi flick.

[Oh, don't worry. Lance knows he's out for failure. That's why he's the way he is.]

Aw come on! It can't be for the whole year. I just got here!

Clones, the results of some weird breeding project, normal women who received advanced cosmetic surgery... who knows? This place sometimes has weird job requirements.

[Such as the very common 'no job requirements'.]

Welcome to this world, then. Even if that was a year's worth of luck, you'll be fine; your Pokémon have their own luck and you can't die anyway.

Or aliens. Aliens are always a possibility.

[In some of case, you've seen one, you've seen them all.]

I can't die? [Now he's going to be even more reckless than usual. Thanks, bud.] What about the Pokemon?

Everyone that's not human tends to become so around here, actually. Unless they're alien Pokémon.

[Alien Pokémon are always an option.]

That's... tricky. I've never seen or heard of a Pokémon dying no matter what kind of attack hit them, but at the same time they have graves in Lavender and tons of Ghost-types, so...

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