victory_road | 001 ♟ audio/video

[There's no video for this broadcast, just audio. Well. There's background noise, anyway, for a few seconds. Then someone awkwardly clears his throat.]

Um, is this... working? [Huh, funny. Isn't that voice familiar? The tone's a little off, but the sound of it's definitely the same as that Jack guy, right?] How... How do I know if it's...

Oh! Wait, the light's on, that probably means people are listening and... hearing me talk to myself... like an idiot. Great. Cool.

[...He quickly clears his throat. Right, yeah, let's not keep talking to himself like a moron, that's no way to make a first impression.]

I mean. Hello there, youuuuu, ah, lovely... people. Oh god, that was terrible. This is... Jack. Handsome Jack. That's... me. In the flesh. I mean, not that you can see that, but--

Just. Just got a quick question. I... These Pokémon things, they're supposed to be like... animals, right? Um. I'm just gonna turn on the video for this, one sec... [And then the video feed clicks on, showing off one very excited Ditto, smiling right at the camera.] So... Seriously, what the hell is up with this thing? This is just... I don't even know. Someone used some jello for a science class and something went wrong or whatever? It's kinda freaking me out a little...

[The Ditto doesn't seem bothered being talked about like this, still looking as happy as can be.]

I... don't really know what to do with it. Do I like... feed it? Does it eat? It doesn't look like it eats, but... don't wanna kill it by mistake.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...So this is the part where I want to say something denying that's possible, but uh.

Seeing as I got transported to another planet full of cute, colorful abominations by what I'm told is a space llama... I get the feeling maybe I should keep an open mind here.

[Like... Honestly, fuck it, he'll go with it.]

Vampires. Right. Why not.

Oh, good, sometimes it takes a lot longer to convince people!

I wouldn't say I'm convinced so much as choosing to just roll with it.

It still works!

If you say so.

So, uh... how well do you know Jack, anyway?

We haven't met in person yet, but he's always super nice, and always has funny things to say!

Huh... Really? Not really the description I would've expected.

[Jack. Nice.

Ha.]

Oh, uh. Sorry in advance that I'm not all that much like him. Even if I'm... paid to be him.

Don't worry about it! If you were exactly the same, it'd be kinda boring. You should always be you.

Ha, well. Technically speaking my job means I can't exactly be me, but uh. I try anyway.

I'm not really all that great at being Jack anyway.

But you don't have to do your job here!

Eh, my boss is here, so I kinda do? Still under contract for about... six more years.

But he can't do his job either, whatever it is!

His job's not really relevant to mine, actually. Would you believe when he hired me to be his body double, he was just a programmer?

I mean. A programmer with a body double, seriously...

[Not like it stayed that way for all that long, but man, that's still so weird.]

Anyway, I work for Jack and that's just how it is, y'know?

Well... what's the worst that can happen here if you don't? You're not even in the same town right now, I bet.

You don't want me to answer that question.

... Then why did I ask it?

[Not being sassy, now she's just confused.]

Ah, don't even worry about it. Seriously, don't.

[Do not.

BUT HA HA HEY HOW ABOUT A SUDDEN, SUPER SUBTLE SUBJECT CHANGE...]

Ah, hey, you've probably been here a little while, right?

[SUPER EFFECTIVE]

Oh, definitely! Several months now!

You got any tips for a newbie here? Y'know, anything I might need to know about this place?

It's pretty different from where I was before. The lack of guns is seriously throwing me off, heh...

Well, there's no limo service, which totes bites. You have to walk everywhere, unless you get a fly-type Pokemon, AND it knows the Fly move, AND you have the right badge.

Ah, yeah, I heard something about that. No public transportation outside the fast travel. And no cars either, huh? Geez.

Flying with a Pokémon sounds kinda... risky.

It's way too much effort for me. Besides, why would I want to leave Goldenrod?

Oh, you're in Goldenrod, huh? Seems like a popular place. That great there, huh...?

The shopping is fangastic!

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