001 ♟ audio/video

[secondhandsome]

[There's no video for this broadcast, just audio. Well. There's background noise, anyway, for a few seconds. Then someone awkwardly clears his throat.]

Um, is this... working? [Huh, funny. Isn't that voice familiar? The tone's a little off, but the sound of it's definitely the same as that Jack guy, right?] How... How do I know if it's...

Oh! Wait, the light's on, that probably means people are listening and... hearing me talk to myself... like an idiot. Great. Cool.

[...He quickly clears his throat. Right, yeah, let's not keep talking to himself like a moron, that's no way to make a first impression.]

I mean. Hello there, youuuuu, ah, lovely... people. Oh god, that was terrible. This is... Jack. Handsome Jack. That's... me. In the flesh. I mean, not that you can see that, but--

Just. Just got a quick question. I... These Pokémon things, they're supposed to be like... animals, right? Um. I'm just gonna turn on the video for this, one sec... [And then the video feed clicks on, showing off one very excited Ditto, smiling right at the camera.] So... Seriously, what the hell is up with this thing? This is just... I don't even know. Someone used some jello for a science class and something went wrong or whatever? It's kinda freaking me out a little...

[The Ditto doesn't seem bothered being talked about like this, still looking as happy as can be.]

I... don't really know what to do with it. Do I like... feed it? Does it eat? It doesn't look like it eats, but... don't wanna kill it by mistake.

Comments

[video]

[styxiedust]

Oh, I already have experience with plenty of human drama, it's not confusing at all.

[Mnnnn.]

You'd be surprised, they usually send off ten year olds on a "journey" to collect and battle these Pokemon. I think this world is made of poor life decisions.

Re: [video]

[secondhandsome]

"Human" drama...? Uh. So... you're not human?

[Wha...?]

...Well, that's just... messed up for a whole lot of reasons. And people are just okay with that?

Still, a world made of poor life decisions... That much I'm pretty used to by now.

[video]

[styxiedust]

I wasn't before coming here, no. That's what happens to everyone that isn't human before arrival.

They are, their whole culture is based in that. I suppose it's like a coming of age narrative for other people. When we're brought here we're expected to partake, though some of us get classed as breeders instead--breeding the best and strongest Pokemon for trainers.

[secondhandsome]

Well. That's weird. But uh, so... if you weren't human, then what were you? If that's okay to ask.

Right. Just how it is here. Guess I'll just have to see it as cultural differences on other planets. This place is just all about Pokémon the same way Pandora is all about guns.

[styxiedust]

[...]

You seem [fragile] sweet. I don't want to share that on a first meeting.

Never mind all that anyway, my question to you is if there's anything I can do to help right at this moment. I run a shop, so I can at least send a care package.

[secondhandsome]

Uhh... Okay. Slightly ominous, but... alright.

Huh, wait... Seriously? I mean, you don't even know me or anything.

[Doesn't he need to do some ridiculous job for her that puts him in mortal danger first? That's how these things are supposed to go, right?]

[styxiedust]

[Honey, you don't even know. She just smiles serenely in return.]

Not knowing someone is quite usual for the first meeting, that doesn't mean I shouldn't do what I can to help out. My caveat is, unfortunately, I'm still not that good at making regular food--so the care package is just sweets.

As far as you know, you're not allergic to anything, are you?

[secondhandsome]

Oh. Well, that's pretty sweet of y-- oh god, that's a pun, I just realized. Not... intentional, sorry. Just think it's a really nice thing you're doing.

Nah, no allergies here.