001 ♟ audio/video

[secondhandsome]

[There's no video for this broadcast, just audio. Well. There's background noise, anyway, for a few seconds. Then someone awkwardly clears his throat.]

Um, is this... working? [Huh, funny. Isn't that voice familiar? The tone's a little off, but the sound of it's definitely the same as that Jack guy, right?] How... How do I know if it's...

Oh! Wait, the light's on, that probably means people are listening and... hearing me talk to myself... like an idiot. Great. Cool.

[...He quickly clears his throat. Right, yeah, let's not keep talking to himself like a moron, that's no way to make a first impression.]

I mean. Hello there, youuuuu, ah, lovely... people. Oh god, that was terrible. This is... Jack. Handsome Jack. That's... me. In the flesh. I mean, not that you can see that, but--

Just. Just got a quick question. I... These Pokémon things, they're supposed to be like... animals, right? Um. I'm just gonna turn on the video for this, one sec... [And then the video feed clicks on, showing off one very excited Ditto, smiling right at the camera.] So... Seriously, what the hell is up with this thing? This is just... I don't even know. Someone used some jello for a science class and something went wrong or whatever? It's kinda freaking me out a little...

[The Ditto doesn't seem bothered being talked about like this, still looking as happy as can be.]

I... don't really know what to do with it. Do I like... feed it? Does it eat? It doesn't look like it eats, but... don't wanna kill it by mistake.

Comments

[audio]

[secondhandsome]

Okay, so, that mind control thing, is-- is that just a hypothetical or can at least one species actually do that, because that'd be nice to know in advance!

[audio]

[paladinlost]

...They do say that Hypno can hypnotize people, and Beeheeyem can supposedly modify memories. Not that Fu has shown any desire to do so, but then again he's not what you'd call smart...

[audio]

[secondhandsome]

Well. That's horrifying.

[audio]

[paladinlost]

Hardly, compared to other species. Why, a few years ago a swarm of Shedinjas stole people's souls for days. We had to hunt them all down. That was much more troublesome.

[audio]

[secondhandsome]

...What?

Okay, now you've just gotta be bullshitting me. Please say you're making that up. Please.

[audio]

[paladinlost]

Sadly, I'm not. It was an exceptional event, though; your everyday run-of-the-mill Shedinja has no such power, no matter what the rumors say.

[audio]

[secondhandsome]

Christ... This place is starting to seem less nice the more I hear about it.

[audio]

[paladinlost]

Oh, it's extremely nice most of the time. It's merely that... well, the less pleasant times tend to be so strange they become memorable.