victory_road | Text Post Update from The Garrison Trio

[As promised, Pidge is putting up pictures of the little road trip that she, Lance, and Hunk have embarked on. It's a later update than she'd initially planned it to be, but better late than never, right? And in the interest of getting the news out to all of their friends (and Lance's friends, she doesn't even know who else that might include), Pidge makes them all available to the public.

There are photos as well as videos, and they're all absolutely ridiculous.

Posing with random objects that may or may not have been landmarks.
Hunk cooking over a campfire making a peace sign at the camera.
A bedtime selfie of the three of them all made up and wearing Lance's beauty masks.
Challenging each other to a hot sauce competition (which Pidge utterly lost, face red and tears in her eyes).
Singing songs with helium balloons.
Lance holding an impromptu "fashion show" with Pokémon themed outfits, Hunk cheering him on enthusiastically in the background.
Messing around with some of the Jennies.
Running from the Jennies.
A clip of the three of them playing Chubby Bunny.
A shot of Lance and Hunk leaning on each other, asleep and drooling.
Hunk giving a sleeping Pidge a piggy-back ride.
A selfie of Pidge while Lance gives her a pedicure and Hunk brushes her hair.
Clips of Lance twerking on the back of a bicycle (Hunk frets to the side and Pidge snort-laughs while recording).
And also of him dancing while keeping up with a moving bicycle.
...and a lot more.

There's a lot. Over the last several weeks, these three have been up to complete and utter shenanigans. But, as their friends can no doubt tell from the pictures, they're doing well and having a great time.

These are Shiro's kids. Teenagers being teenagers. Welcome to Team Voltron.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...]

[Oh for %#$@'s sake]

Lance. You're asking me for cookies.

Me.

The only reason I'm allowed to make coffee is because the machine does the work.

Shiro, have you ever heard the line "work smarter, not harder"?

You're not working very smart right now. You do know stores exists, right? And they usually have cookies?

I can't afford that many cookies.

[boi he bought a house]

Welp, guess I'll just go and get beat up by this tiny hangry cellmate of mine then. She's already taken down Hunk. Tell my mom I loved her and tell Blue that he was the best bud I ever had.

[Shiro, why are you taking him seriously in any way?]

[Because this is normal for Lance. And hey. If he can encourage Normal Lance? He's going to.]

Then again. If you're in a cell, I don't have to worry about you guys out on the road.

[This is true. Encouragement's nice.]

You're just gonna leave us here to be a party killer? Wow, sure glad I brought Kaltenecker with me. We can bust outta here with Rollout. Go on the lam, live the life of fugitives wanted by The Man.

Fugitives on the run don't have time to have facials, you know.

[Lance holds up one single finger as if he's about to bestow Shiro with the knowledge of the world.]

There is always time for a facial, dude. Ten minutes is all that's needed to keep a lifetime of wrinkles away.

Ten minutes could be all that's between you and your pursuit.

[So there.]

Not if I've got a good hideout. You're talking to the king of sneaking out of the Garrison after lights out. No way am I getting caught by the Jennies or their dogs even when I'm deep conditioning.

Nah, you've got that backward.

You're talking to the king.

Point still stands, life on the run doesn't suit you guys. Would you really do that to Hunk?

You, the king? Please. You can't even make proper laser sounds.

[Which is clearly a requirement for someone who can sneak out like a god.]

Hunk is fine. As long as we avoid taking any boats or ships that jiggle his guts around, he'll be cool.

Ask Keith and Matt sometime -- the first hoverbike incident. They'll tell you.

[Not the same as the Great Macaroni Trial but Shiro was known for a lot of things, back then.]

Hey, people on the run can't be that picky.

What hoverbike incident?

[Lance is ready to hear some bullshit lame-o story about how Shiro rode on the sidewalk or something mild like that.]

Yes, we can. Besides, one of us will get Fly sooner or later and we'll just give Hunk a blindfold so he doesn't look down like we all know he will.

How I found out how those things could catch some real air.

[because he drove it off a fucking cliff. A lot.]

He was okay when he was on Green with me.

You mean you crashed.

[Because that's what Lance is hearing.]

Oh, but I bet he found some other way to complain. I've sat in too many simulator cockpits with Hunk to know that if barf's not coming out of his mouth, words are.

Only once. After that? Never again. Had to sneak out to make sure I got the practice runs in before I went back to the cliff.

[Yeah that's right cliff.]

He just wanted to make sure she had a "seatbelt" on him.

Well, point is, you crashed. Sorry, you lose. Maybe one day you'll be as good as being a ninja as I am, but today's not that day.

[He ain't impressed. Okay, maybe a little, but he can't show it lest he be the loser by showing the feelings he's been covering up with this dumb conversation.]

Called it. I'm surprised he didn't ask if you had a spare helmet for him.

How does that lose? I didn't get caught even after a crash.

[Come on buddy just accept this one thing. This one little thing.]

... he may have.

Don't have to. Have I ever crashed when I snuck out? Nope. The simple act of crashing counts as a loss.

[Never. Not for a million garlic knots.]

Well, we're ready for him when we take to the skies away from the coppers. Nyahahaha.

[What a terrible evil laugh.]

Did you ever fly when you went out?

[Don't make him play the laid card.]

What did you guys even do?

Yes.

[He's totally counting the night they found Shiro and ended up finding the Blue Lion. Of course, Lance is not going to volunteer those details. Giving them away for free is an amateur move.

Don't you dare, Shiro. Don't. You. Dare.]

That's for us to know and you to never find out.

When? And where?

[He's absolutely going to ask. So there.]

... Fine.

I'll ask Hunk.

Text Post Update from The Garrison Trio

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