Space☆Dandy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
adandyinspace) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
victory_road2019-01-22 09:30 pm
adandyinspace) wrote in victory_road2019-01-22 09:30 pm
001 | video
[Out of all the horrible things that have happened so far this week, the worst is yet to come. It's some guy and he looks into the feed like everyone just played some sort of huge prank on him. It certainly feels that way, being told he's gotta trek three days in the snow certainly sounds like a joke.
Thankfully it looks like he's hastily slapped on some kind of winter outfit, his giant hair sticking out from under the hat that barely wants to stay on. From what can be seen of his jacket, it appears to stick out unnaturally and even wiggle about, probably the pokémon he was given. Anything to stay warm.]
Hey, sooo, I know you're all havin' a really fun time right now, but I'm freezing my ass off and my communicator ain't working. So I'm using this one. Anyway, quick question, what kinda planet invents the video phone and not something like, I dunno...a bus?
[Dandy feels like this is an incredibly valid question.]
If you find one good lookin' corpse, don't touch my wallet, I swear to-- [But before he can continue, the wiggling intensifies and Dandy's face suddenly breaks out in all smiles, an extreme contrast to the face he was just making. He laughs like an idiot and falls to his knees, the video shaking and losing focus in the process.] NO! S-STOP!! That...that tickles...!!
[And it cuts...]
Thankfully it looks like he's hastily slapped on some kind of winter outfit, his giant hair sticking out from under the hat that barely wants to stay on. From what can be seen of his jacket, it appears to stick out unnaturally and even wiggle about, probably the pokémon he was given. Anything to stay warm.]
Hey, sooo, I know you're all havin' a really fun time right now, but I'm freezing my ass off and my communicator ain't working. So I'm using this one. Anyway, quick question, what kinda planet invents the video phone and not something like, I dunno...a bus?
[Dandy feels like this is an incredibly valid question.]
If you find one good lookin' corpse, don't touch my wallet, I swear to-- [But before he can continue, the wiggling intensifies and Dandy's face suddenly breaks out in all smiles, an extreme contrast to the face he was just making. He laughs like an idiot and falls to his knees, the video shaking and losing focus in the process.] NO! S-STOP!! That...that tickles...!!
[And it cuts...]
no subject
All this nonsense isn't making any sense, dammit.
But fine, whatever, it's cool. He's still too concerned with his possible death and his eyes seem to increase in size the more Egon talks up this ferry. Aaaaall the way up to "deplete you of all your funds," then his expression simply deflates.]
Cold agonizing death it is.
[Look, he need his titty bar money.]
That's a shit excuse and you know it. I've been to all sorts of natural down-to-earth whatevers and all of 'em managed transportation. At least set up a place for people to chill until the weather warms up, yeesh...
no subject
There's always the option to nearly freeze to death and allow the local PokéCenter to rescue you. As far as I am aware, there is no way to actually "die" in this world from unnatural causes.
[He says that with a disconcertingly casual tone as he crosses his arms.]
Technically, you did not have to start walking along the trail. You could have stayed in New Bark Town and waited for someone to bring you to another city, yes? The entity named "Mom" has a tendency to take care of new arrivals as if they were its own offspring.
no subject
[Alas, if only life had do-overs.]
And who am I supposed to wait for if I can't get someone to get me to a city now?!
no subject
[He frowns lightly, scratching his chin with his hand.]
You could always offer people money for exchange for services to "encourage" them to come to you. If that doesn't work, you'll have to make the trek to the next town. There's no alternative, unfortunately.
no subject
["I don't want to spend my money and you can't make me."]
In fact, when this all blows over, I'm gonna make my OWN bus and people'll have to pay ME to drag THEM out of the snow. Take that, nature.
[The chances of him remembering this plan once he hits the Cherrygrove spa are incredibly thin. Nature gets to live another day.]
no subject
[...Spengler might have completely missed the point of Dandy's sentence.]
If done in the correct manner, a public transportation system could be implemented that would cause little harm to the environment while still being efficient and comfortable. Of course, there would need to be check ins with the zoning board and the health and safety board and so on and so forth--
[Stop him before he goes on a completely different tangent.]
no subject
[He just...leaves it at that.]
I'll look into getting into specifics when I reach that point, okay? A lil faith would be nice... Right now I need the dough to make it happen and I can't exactly start makin' it becoming the human popsicle out here.
If you wanna start a fundraiser for me, I will not say no~
no subject
[This is your chance to fight other people for their lunch money in a legal way, Dandy.]
I'm sure your Pokémon would enjoy the exercise, as well. What species is she, anyways? I have never seen a Pokémon like that before.
[He's only been here for a month.]
no subject
...Speaking of.]
Who knows, some sorta rare alien dog.
[Dandy wiggles his finger in front of her nose playfully, causing her to snap at it. He manages to pull away just in time with each chomp, not at all bothered by any possible danger.]
Heh. She's feisty.
no subject
[He doesn't interpret it to be a dog--he doesn't...really like mammals as much as other weird animals. To him, it looks sort of like a small brontosaur. He adjusts his glasses, leaning closer to the screen. He doesn't seem particularly concerned that Dandy might get his fingers chomped off.]
Why don't you try teaching her basic commands, such as staying and sitting? Or fetching objects? It would help further your bond with her as well as teaching her to listen to you.
no subject
So he scrunches up his nose instead.]
I'm not really...about tellin' her what to do. She's a free spirit, baby. Who am I to take away her freedom when it's her job to figure out her own destiny? I'm just along for the ride until we gotta say adios.
[Projecting much? Maybe. Setting up to be the world's greatest trainer? Oh, absolutely.]
no subject
I see. So you wish to serve as some sort of...guiding spirit towards her, as opposed to a trainer.
[Then, after a brief pause--]
I'm curious--do you know if you are a breeder or a trainer? I would like to know what kind of Pokémon this particular creature is compatible with.
[egon no you can't just ask people if their pokemon want to make eggs]
1/2
Oh. I'm a breeder~
no subject
HEY!! [He uses his free hand to cover his pokémon's...eyes?] Do I look like I got time to think about weird alien dog bonin'?! How about I make sure I survive a night first?!
no subject
Ah--yes, my apologies. Surviving is important, as well. [He pauses.] You can obtain more 'alien dogs' from breeding them. Although they are neither aliens nor dogs.
no subject
[Here lies Martini, she never scored.]
And I think I know an alien dog when I see one, okay?
no subject
[He's still standing by this even though the evidence is literally right in front of his nose.
He's not even going to think about the fact that Dandy called him by his name despite him not introducing himself.]
Secondly, she does not appear to be a mammal, nor does she have the defining traits of a canid. But that does not mean she is not a valuable specimen.