8 ∅ [Text/Action for Ecruteak Inn]

[callbacks]

[TEXT:]

currently taking your hottest exorcism tips
the top five submissions get a prize
the prize is whatever i get out of these boxes of abra jacks and if thats not your idea of a good time im sorry because theyre all i got stashed in this closet atm

if this is punishment for cultural appropriation at the festival im gomen
but can we maybe stop
onegai shimass

[ACTION FOR ECRUTEAK:]

[The great (???) thing about the ghost currently haunting Dave is that, for the most part, it stays out of sight, meaning that with everyone else distracted by their own phantasms, Dave managed to spend the whole day yesterday blatantly not acknowledging it, only twitching at its constant presence at the edge of his awareness. But after no sleep the entire night--negative sleep, probably, it's possible he will never sleep again, fuck every molecule of his being--he's just grabbed some foodstuffs, marched into the inn room closet, and settled in with his eyes shut, hugging the cereal boxes to his chest.

At least he can pretend Bro's not there, in the dark.]

Comments

[brocrux]

[ The question was more of an invitation for Karkat to stop standing in the hallway and come in. Saying it with a straight face while he's looking past him in search of spiritual entities Karkat might have probably doesn't help get across anything.

What? He looks back to him ]

You dealt with this once? [ People hiding in bathrooms and closets away from ghosts? Jane wasn't here so that would have to be Dave and ...oh.

This is fine.

He frowns at him. Karkat's offering to talk? Huh. Also another instance of rarity. Considering the circumstances, he shouldn't be on anyone's priority list when it comes to talking. They can postpone anything he needs to get out for another month. It would be fine and he'd never blame them. He was right about Karkat being a big softie. That's considerate. And look at the way he's holding that pokemon. ]

Well. You're not wrong about not having things go my way. I'm trying to figure out the best method for trapping a ghost without using a fucking vacuum cleaner. [ Wonder if John tried that already. If he's anything like Jake, the answer would be yes. ] I have a plausible working theory after seeing Jane's but I need someone to confirm a detail for me and I'm not entirely sure anyone can. [ Ghost Dads: Real or fictional ]

Did you want to talk? I'd rather not go divulging into my thoughts concerning- [ He cuts himself off and makes a vague hand gesture at his own sunglasses. He assumes Karkat would know what that means. ] But if you have anything you need to get out, I'll return the offer.

[quadrangle]

[Oh my god, Dirk, use your words. Also—]

Not ghosts, but people sequestering themselves for no legitimately good fucking reason when they should be getting help instead? Yes.

{And he actually hadn't been talking about Dave's bathroom episode, but whatever. Dirk can think what he likes. As for... the rest of it...

His frown is unmistakable now, but rather than address the underlying cause (ha fucking ha what is emotional maturity), he rolls his eyes and tries valiantly to ignore the fact that Sharru has decided this is an excellent time to lick his chin.]

You know, Dave said the same fucking thing? About the vacuum cleaner. And yeah, fuck no, I'm not—talking about it wouldn't help. I mean, not right now.

[Not with Dirk, anyway, because god how much context is there that he'd need to fill this asshole in on before getting to the actual issue? Besides, he already has one shades-wearing, emotionally constipated douchebag in his pale quadrant. Two would be ridiculous.

Sharru licks his chin again, and Karkat turns his glare onto the fucking furry piece of shit, adjusting his hold again for the sole purpose of covering his tiny smug face with one hand. Stupid cat.]

What's the theory?

[brocrux]

Right. Self-induced isolation in order to avoid problems is the worst fucking idea I can think of.

[ He shifts his feet, makes a sound in the back of his throat that's halfway between a laugh and a sigh. A "Hmph." He agrees with Karkat wholeheartedly.

Isolation in general is the worst fucking idea, he thinks.
Source(s): The Alpha session, The Jake English Incident, His entire life. ]

Did he? Heh. [ Look at that. They think alike. That's oddly comforting. ]

Okay. Not talking. We'll toss that idea out into a pit of acid, dissolving all evidence that idea even crossed either of our minds for the smallest fraction of time. [ He's probably the last person Karkat wants to talk to anyway. They got better and he thinks they might've moved on from constant insults but Dirk is still very much the outsider here.

On an unrelated topic, he needs to figure out how to get his hands on a Meowstic if that's how they all act. Roxy would shit herself.

He gives the hall another quick scan before answering the question. Where is Karkat's ghost? He does have one, doesn't he? This is strange. ]

That they're not real. The fact that this game clearly demonstrated it is fully capable of returning a living state to the deceased makes this an odd choice. And Jane's Dad turned out to be alive, yet his ghost is following her around like the chaperone on her first school trip. [ He told Jane as much too. It's true enough from his point of view that she should have it to ease her mind with. ] If I'm right, you're all being fucked with.

[ The heavy but if I'm wrong going unsaid. Karkat knows about the timeline issue. That "BUT" that he really doesn't want to include Jane in on until it stops being a "BUT" and he knows the truth. ]

[quadrangle]

[... is talking out one's waste chute also a Striderian trait because what the fuck was that about acid. Dirk gets a Look for it, anyway, but Karkat soon dismisses the whole thing from his mind because. Huh.

He glances over his shoulder, but comedic timing being the pervasive force set out to ruin his life that it is, it's only when he returns his attention to Dirk that Gamzee peeks around the corner, still smiling vacantly. Of equal inescapable notice is the fact that the fucking codpiece was the first thing visible around said corner before Gamzee's stupid fucking demented clown face even made an appearance, but that. The less said about that the better.]

We're being fucked with no matter what the ghosts are, aren't we? I mean, I get what you're saying, but seeing some of these assholes around, even if they're fake—

[He stops again, scowling and definitely not making eye contact. Does he even need to say which ghost he's referring to? Hint: Dirk bears a striking resemblance to it. Oh, wait.]

And it's not like this place has ever been fucking logical. There was a literal prom on the fucking moon, so why not bring in some ghosts.

[brocrux]

[ There isn't a lot more to say about ghosts fucking them over. He knows exactly which ghost he's hinting at too and seems to be a prime example of a ghost making life hell for one or more parties. It's tall, looks like him and wearing a hat. Fuck that guy.

He just puts his mouth in a thin line and looks away from Karkat at that brief pause. Picking a spot to focus on around the corner. Yes. He knows. ]

There is a certain balance between their illogical methods and what the unholy shit am I looking at? [ He trails off, stares at what seems to be an incredibly purple dick that peeks out before who its attached to shows up. Dirk reaches a hand up and tips his shades down, squinting his eyes over them at the figure. Is that-? ]

Is that a fucking juggalo? [ OH HELL NO ]

[quadrangle]

[Karkat follows his gaze without thinking and instantly regrets it. Yeah, about that—]

That's Gamzee.

[His voice is low and tight, and he looks away from the apparition as quickly as possible, refocusing all of his attention on agitatedly petting the suddenly very still and suspiciously cooperative Meowstic in his arms. Good Sharru, best distraction. Even if he's an asshole the rest of the time.]

Yes he's a juggalo, well spotted. Don't ask me why the fuck he's the one following me around when it could have been literally anyone, I don't fucking know.

[He actually would have preferred Eridan, that's how fucking awful the situation is, but the name would mean nothing to Dirk and so he doesn't say it. Just. Fuck Gamzee, seriously.]

The outfit's fake, by the way. I mean, he actually wore it, but he wasn't... ugh, forget it.

[Please don't make him talk about the codpiece. Please.]

[brocrux]

[ Why this? ]

Gamzee. None of you mentioned this guy before but there was a palpable disdain for clowns that hadn't gone unnoticed. [ He isn't sure he even wants to know this guy's deal. Karkat looks like he regrets knowing. Like, really regrets knowing.

He is not going to discuss the codpiece. He's trying not to look at it. The keyword is "trying." It's staring at him. ]

Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm going to go ahead and assume this guy was a raging asshole like every foolish follower of that cancerous political party slash religion.