001 / Video+Text

[whymustifeel]

[The feed starts out blurry, as whatever is holding the camera adjusts its grip. It eventually focuses on a blond teenager with a sunny smile and a bright orange ascot, who claps his hands together excitedly.]

Is it working?

[His voice may sound... vaguely familiar to some people, either by virtue of him being a cartoon icon for nearly 50 years or how eerily similar he sounds to a certain Ray Stantz. Regardless, the camera person[?] seems to nod, the camera jostling slightly and picking up the sound of rustling leaves.]

Great! Ok, so, my name's Fred Jones, and I woke up here about a week ago, and I've got a couple things I wanna say-

But gosh, first of all, can I just tell ya that this place is fantastic! I mean, it's a little weird that all these creatures are- y'know, real, or at least I haven't found any way to take off their masks if they are just guys in suits? But I guess they're just like Scooby or something. But they're even better- uh, don't tell Shaggy I said that- I mean, Scoob's great for helping make traps and all, just like all my friends, but dogs can't make vines grow and appear at will! ... Can dogs in this place do that?

[The Pokemon holding the camera shrugs.]

Anyway, I know I'm technically supposed to use those "Pokeballs" or whatever to catch new creatures, but that's no fun. So I've been perfecting trap designs with Audrey here [He gestures to the Pokemon holding the camera.] - she's a great listener, and learning fast! Can you believe she'd never made a pit trap before I got her? And now she's helped me make a ton, even with those leaves for hands!

Oh, uh, by the way, you might wanna be careful if you're going down Route 29 or 30. There's about... [He flips through a notebook, the tip of his tongue sticking out as he regards his scribbled notes.] Twenty-three traps in total- including some really nice modified Rube Goldberg-style setups using some scrap metal and a fallen tree I found. The rest aren't all that complex- I don't have enough materials yet, and this place doesn't have a TrapMart. Just some pretty standard snares and nets and pits. [Fred waves his hand dismissively.] Not my finest work, but it's good practice for my new friends!

... Right, and I was gonna ask- are there sharks in this place? I really want to get to making shark tank traps again, it's been forever since I had a shark to use and I don't wanna get rusty with setting them up. Thanks!

[With that, he signals for Audrey to shut the camera feed off. The Carnivine turns the camera to face her for a moment and waves her leaf-hand goodbye before following his instruction.

... Hopefully anyone who might actually be traveling down Route 29 or 30 soon will catch this video before they get caught in a trap.

But probably not. At least they're all easy enough to escape. And local wild Pokemon, clearly exasperated, are already undoing the damage done by filling in pits and disabling snares.

Later in the day, a text post appears on the network:]

I've been making a list of Pokemon moves and abilities I've read up on that I want to get my hands on! If anyone can point me towards Pokemon they know will have a lot of these, or can suggest one I missed, please let me know!!!

Already related to trapping enemies: Arena Trap, Shadow Tag, Magnet Pull, Block, Mean Look, Spider Web, Bind, Wrap, Clamp, Fire Spin, Whirlpool, Sand Tomb, Magma Storm, Infestation, Sticky Web, Spikes, Toxic Spikes, Stealth Rock

Can be used in a specific way to make traps: Constrict, Vine Whip, Sand Attack, Rock Tomb, Electroweb, Toxic Thread, String Shot, Leaf Tornado, Smokescreen, Mud-Slap

[... This kid might need new hobbies.]

Comments

[whymustifeel]

[Conversely, here's someone who can't really read a room.]

Yeah! Weren't they great? Did you see the one right outside Cherrygrove, the one with the rudimentary "pressure plate" that sets off the mechanism that flings the victim up into the net in the tree? Since I'm hurting for materials, it's not as complex as I'd like, but I still think it's my favorite of this batch.

[missingache]

That one was the worst! I had to have my Pikipek destroy the net to get my Shinx out!

[Not to mention the ones that Roxas tripped up himself.]

Someone could get really hurt!

[whymustifeel]

Oh- gosh, I'm sorry about that.

[He does look a little apologetic, at least.]

... Did you save the remains of the net?

[missingache]

[The apology is okay. He nods at that, then stops.]

Why would I save the net? It's still in the tree....

[whymustifeel]

Awww. It's ok, I was just gonna reuse it if it was still salvageable.

[A beat. The single brain cell that dings around the inside of Fred's skull briefly gives him a flash of common sense.]

I hope your Pokemon is ok- I really did just mean to catch wild Pokemon in it, but it's kinda hard to know if your trap is gonna catch the thing you're looking for, especially if you're not there to watch.

So I'll be sure to keep a closer eye on the ones I've set all over Route 30! That way if anyone else gets caught in one of them, I'll be right there to help.

[Shouldn't the moral of this be "stop making traps"? No, of course not. That's a terrible idea.]

[missingache]

Sora's fine. He was a little scared at first, but then he kind of had fun with it.

[Watching a Shinx figure out how to swing in a net was something to watch.

UHM]

..... Wouldn't it just be easier and less annoying to everyone to take them apart?

[whymustifeel]

Oh, great!

[With that reassurance, any guilt that Fred might have felt can officially be deemed unnecessary and thrown into the garbage.]

... But then I wouldn't have any traps?

[missingache]

.... why can't you catch Pokemon like everyone else? Without traps?

[And let your little friends get stronger!]

[whymustifeel]

... Because I don't want to? Making traps is what I'm good at! I'm not giving it up.

[missingache]

Then at least make them where normal people won't trip on them!

[whymustifeel]

But if I put them too far in the woods, I might not be able to find them again! That's not smart.

[missingache]

Then mark them on that map you got.

[Roxas don't just assume everyone got one.]

[whymustifeel]

[Huffs]

What if I get lost trying to go back to them? Or they're too far of a walk, so by the time I get there to check a trap whatever was caught in it's already managed to escape?

[missingache]

What's worse? Losing the Pokemon or having a bunch of people mad at you?

[whymustifeel]

Aw, I'm used to a bunch of people being mad at me. [He waves his hand dismissively.] The gang and I are basically social outcasts at this point!

[He sounds oddly cheery, despite that.]

[missingache]

[That

That is both really sad and somehow not surprising]

..... and you're okay with that?!

[whymustifeel]

[And that right there is the perfect description of Fred's life!]

Sure- I mean, the alternative is not being true to who we are, so who cares if all the adults hate us?

[Not to mention the entire student body...]

[missingache]

But-[Can already guess it's probably not just the adults that hate them.]

... I give up. You're too weird for me.

[whymustifeel]

I get that a lot.

[Again, he sounds very chipper despite the fact that that should probably be at least a little upsetting.]

[missingache]

[............]

Why do you sound so happy about that?!