victory_road | 001 / Video+Text

[The feed starts out blurry, as whatever is holding the camera adjusts its grip. It eventually focuses on a blond teenager with a sunny smile and a bright orange ascot, who claps his hands together excitedly.]

Is it working?

[His voice may sound... vaguely familiar to some people, either by virtue of him being a cartoon icon for nearly 50 years or how eerily similar he sounds to a certain Ray Stantz. Regardless, the camera person[?] seems to nod, the camera jostling slightly and picking up the sound of rustling leaves.]

Great! Ok, so, my name's Fred Jones, and I woke up here about a week ago, and I've got a couple things I wanna say-

But gosh, first of all, can I just tell ya that this place is fantastic! I mean, it's a little weird that all these creatures are- y'know, real, or at least I haven't found any way to take off their masks if they are just guys in suits? But I guess they're just like Scooby or something. But they're even better- uh, don't tell Shaggy I said that- I mean, Scoob's great for helping make traps and all, just like all my friends, but dogs can't make vines grow and appear at will! ... Can dogs in this place do that?

[The Pokemon holding the camera shrugs.]

Anyway, I know I'm technically supposed to use those "Pokeballs" or whatever to catch new creatures, but that's no fun. So I've been perfecting trap designs with Audrey here [He gestures to the Pokemon holding the camera.] - she's a great listener, and learning fast! Can you believe she'd never made a pit trap before I got her? And now she's helped me make a ton, even with those leaves for hands!

Oh, uh, by the way, you might wanna be careful if you're going down Route 29 or 30. There's about... [He flips through a notebook, the tip of his tongue sticking out as he regards his scribbled notes.] Twenty-three traps in total- including some really nice modified Rube Goldberg-style setups using some scrap metal and a fallen tree I found. The rest aren't all that complex- I don't have enough materials yet, and this place doesn't have a TrapMart. Just some pretty standard snares and nets and pits. [Fred waves his hand dismissively.] Not my finest work, but it's good practice for my new friends!

... Right, and I was gonna ask- are there sharks in this place? I really want to get to making shark tank traps again, it's been forever since I had a shark to use and I don't wanna get rusty with setting them up. Thanks!

[With that, he signals for Audrey to shut the camera feed off. The Carnivine turns the camera to face her for a moment and waves her leaf-hand goodbye before following his instruction.

... Hopefully anyone who might actually be traveling down Route 29 or 30 soon will catch this video before they get caught in a trap.

But probably not. At least they're all easy enough to escape. And local wild Pokemon, clearly exasperated, are already undoing the damage done by filling in pits and disabling snares.

Later in the day, a text post appears on the network:]

I've been making a list of Pokemon moves and abilities I've read up on that I want to get my hands on! If anyone can point me towards Pokemon they know will have a lot of these, or can suggest one I missed, please let me know!!!

Already related to trapping enemies: Arena Trap, Shadow Tag, Magnet Pull, Block, Mean Look, Spider Web, Bind, Wrap, Clamp, Fire Spin, Whirlpool, Sand Tomb, Magma Storm, Infestation, Sticky Web, Spikes, Toxic Spikes, Stealth Rock

Can be used in a specific way to make traps: Constrict, Vine Whip, Sand Attack, Rock Tomb, Electroweb, Toxic Thread, String Shot, Leaf Tornado, Smokescreen, Mud-Slap

[... This kid might need new hobbies.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...Well, I'll give you points for creativity, I guess.

[But yeesh. Isn't this all a bit inhumane? Riku stares awkwardly at the camera, a bit perplexed.

The later post about trapping moves... yeesh. This guy certainly is fixated on the art of trapping, isn't he?]

Just... be careful. These traps might work out for weaker Pokemon like Pidgeys, but how are you gonna account for ranged attackers? Y'know. Fire, electricity. Just because they can't move their bodies doesn't mean they're powerless.

Oh, I know. I'll obviously have to design some new plans to deal with problems like those. Some of my old trap designs were built with fire-breathing dragons and supposedly magical wizards in mind, so I can probably work off of those- but it'll be a lot of trial and error for now.

Isn't it fantastic? A whole new world of possibilities for trap-making! In some ways, it's like I'm starting over from scratch.

[You'd think he'd be more excited to just be in a whole new world, if anything, but no. It's just a whole new world of trap-making opportunities.]

...Geez, you really like traps, don't you?

[That's such a crazy fixation. Was this guy a hunter? Is it just a weird hobby? Riku gives a bewildered look. Weird...]

Curious what got you so into it. Thrills or something?

You're like, the second person to ask me that today! I think I started building traps when I was a little kid, and I've gotten better at it over time. Makes it a whole lot easier to catch all the people in our town disguised as monsters if you've got something to catch them with.

...People disguised as monsters.

[Riku stares, trying to process this.]

Is that normal there? I'd get it if it was for Halloween or something, but...

[Something tells him there's more to it. Why else would this guy wanna catch 'em?]

Yep!

Uhh, short version is: our town has a reputation for being haunted, people capitalize on that so they can commit crimes while dressed as ghosts and monsters. They know the cops won't try to catch them 'cause the tourists who come to Crystal Cove to hear about the monsters and stuff won't come if they realize they're all fake.

So my friends and I solve the mysteries ourselves!

Huh. That's... actually pretty clever, when you put it that way.

[A really weird way to go about committing crimes, but if the cops don't do anything about it, and it's really a tourist attraction... Heh. Not bad at all.]

Seems like a lot to handle, though. Especially if the crooks are armed.

[But that's probably what the traps are for. Now it's all clicking.]

It's not that bad. We love doing it!

And no, they usually don't have guns- if someone can build working flying monster costumes, they're not gonna cheapen out in the weapons department. You've got killer robots, explosives, there was that gnome with the poison touch, hallucinogens... No one's died yet, though!

[... Great.]

[His eyes pop wide open and he gawks for a minute because... well. That escalated very, very quickly. Holy cow.]

That's... definitely creative, but how the heck can they even afford all that stuff?

But I guess I can't blame you for your excitement. Sounds like something that'd never get old.

Engineers with expertise in military grade robotics, experimental chemists, acrobatic zoologists... Huh. Y'know, never really thought about how many people we deal with have really specific skill sets.

And they'd rather pretend to be monsters than actually put those skills to good use.

[He snickers and shakes his head. Man...]

Well, can't say I'm too surprised. Some of the Team Rocket goons that used to be here were just as zany. One guy even talked like a snake.

Wellll, some of 'em lost their jobs and were trying to make ends meet, or still trying to improve the world in a roundabout way, like the Cicada Creature. But yeah.

Really? Was he actually part snake or something?

...Okay, Cicada? Why Cicadas?

[Okay, so maybe they can be kinda creepy. Insects make a good basis for a ghoulish creature. Lots of people fear bugs, but... cicadas specifically?

Give him a moment. This is kinda baffling.]

I don't know if he was part snake, but they were a big motif of his. He seemed like your typical, cartoon baddy. Big, over the top monologues. Plans for world conquest.

Because Grandma Moonbeam saw a documentary about using soundwaves to control penguins, but she didn't have any penguins herself. So she used the next best thing! Cicadas.

[This is only slightly paraphrased from the actual episode. I want you to know this.]

...That's an oddly specific alternative. Then again, I guess bugs do outnumber just about any other life form.

[Still... what. Riku reaches for his temple, still processing. This is mad science levels of insanity.

~~Which is exactly why I just went and marathoned the entire first season.~~]

Heh. Actually, Team Rocket did try something similar before. Weird radio waves to aggravate the local Pokemon. Think there was even a guy who did specialize in bug types...

[Scorpisomething? Man, it's been years...]

[~~INCREDIBLE~~]

Oddly-specific decisions that don't make a lot of sense are really, really common in Crystal Cove. But it worked! Up until we caught her, I guess.

Sounds like some of these "Team Rocket" people would fit right in back home.

Ha. Or they'd fit in here. I'm not sure which is worse.

[Riku shakes his head. Ah, zany villainy. Sometimes he almost misses it.]

Heck, you should've seen those Team Aqua and Magma Guys. Over the top schemers who tried summoning giant, elemental monsters.

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