victory_road | Action + text

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[ The outskirts of New Bark Town. He doesn't particularly want to stay, but no one has explained why leaving would be a good option either. Maine is sitting in the shade of a tree. His Flabébé, now called Ragweed, is on his lap because he has given up, okay? The stupid thing won, but he will never say it. Never. It's lucky he didn't stick with his original name for it, but he was sick of waiting for the various Poke-vet techs to get over their righteous indigence over one measly curse word and treat the blasted thing for "fainting". Again. Again. He's been here only 24 hours, and he knows the nurse's name.

The stupid rat-faced thing that Rags had fought wasn't even that big! Maine only wanted it because it had teeth. It wasn't a flower, okay, and then he could give Ragweed to anyone and still have another pet to deal with... pet things, because here humans are more useless than ever.

He takes out his PokeGear (he is going to start calling everything poke- now. PokeBacon. PokeSteak. PokeHam. Are pokemon food?) and types out a message. ]

will work for warthog. car. not picky. where do i buy baby weed steroids?

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Have you tried feeding and watering them? I hear talking to them helps, too.

tried burying it. not talking to it. it's a plant. won't shut up tho

Edited 2016-08-23 02:10 (UTC)

Isn't the definition of an animal that it makes noise and moves? I think you may need to rethink your classic taxonomic structures, at least while you're here.

[ Text might be preferable to an actual conversation, but you know what's even more succinct?

Maine doing a centuries-old, universal, one finger salute.

The effect of which is only slightly marred by the Pokemon on his lap. ]

[Whoa. Wait.]

...Maine?

[ He looks momentarily rattled by York's appearance on the device, but then two creases appear between his eyebrows in a tiny scowl.

Of course, York was being difficult.

The closest thing to an actual response York is getting is an irritated eye roll.

Yes, it's Maine. Idiot. ]

Edited 2016-08-23 02:54 (UTC)

...Uhh. Huh!

[York considers this startling and somewhat unsettling revelation with all the mental acuity he's given to possess.]

O-kay. Hey, man, could you--

[Oh, wait a sec. York huffs a breath through his nose and switches back to text to make things a little smoother.]

This is gonna sound weird, but you know how time travel is totally a real thing that happens and occasionally gets weaponized for agents who really don't deserve it?

Can I ask you what the last thing you remember is, dude?

[ He's actually more comfortable with texting about this anyway. ]

hit by a truck. mission to retrieve sarcophagus incomplete. not sure who's dead

[ He hesitates before deleting that last line. It doesn't matter. ]

did wyoming do this?

Edited 2016-08-23 03:15 (UTC)

Uh, no, don't think so. Not unless I REALLY don't understand how the time distortion unit's supposed to work.

Listen, there's a few of us here. Some are from a lot farther along than that and might be confused to hear from you from way back then, you know? A little awkwardness is to be expected.

[Also, Maine...y'know, killed...a couple of them? Ahaha.]

why?

[ He's not stupid. Something's wrong. Maine tries to figure out what would cause so much awkwardness- the problem is there are too many options. He offers the worst two. ]

dead or brain damaged enough to date south?

Wouldn't the brain damage it'd take for that kill you anyway?

But no, it's not like that. Or at least, not at the point in time I'm from. We just kind of...disbanded, sometime after the Sarcophagus.

Which we did retrieve, by the way. Mission complete.

not sure. lost count of gunshots and hit by vehicle. you say i'm not dead maybe i go deaf. tinnitus. disbanded? it's the military great. we got box but team's gone. worth getting kicked off building yay

Hey, if Carolina hadn't kicked you off the building, you wouldn't have gotten to do that thing with the car. Don't tell me you didn't love that thing with the car.

[Can't they just do the banter thing forever? Does he have to talk about serious crap? Uggghh.]

Okay, look. If you really want the damage report, nobody died and you didn't go deaf, but you did lose the ability to speak after all that lead to the throat.

you loved it too [ He DID have fun driving that car, though. Splat would have been a lot less fun for all of them. ] not like I use it much. [ It's considerably better than being dead. Maine suspects he won't be that bothered by it. ] you're overreacting

Overreact? Me? Come on, man, never. Don't mix me up with Wash.

[York thinks he's reacting at a perfectly reasonable level to someone who threw his girlfriend off a cliff and killed his boyfriend, but okay, let's change the subject.]

So did you actually try burying your Pokémon to make it grow? Because I'm pretty sure you could get arrested for animal abuse like that around here, and also, dude, you're a riot.

got nothing on wash

[ Maine would infinitely prefer having the pet rookie around to York and an actual pet. ]

he ok? only saw you and lina from car

[ It would be his fault if he missed one, and Wash got hurt. He's not dead, though, so he's probably fine. ]

halfway. didn't cover its mouth

it's a plant. sentient plant

[ That's what you do with plants. They grow in the dirt, York; this really isn't a high tech concept.

Also, he has to have a sense of humor to put up with you and Wash. And Wyoming's bad jokes. ]

Yeah, Wash ended up fine. The Pelican actually caught him on the way down, because Niner doesn't love the rest of us enough, I guess.

[That, and you always gotta take care of the kid, of course.]

I can't believe it let you. What kind did you even get, man?

[ The only real damage was himself. He can live with that result. Maine would've preferred not getting all jacked up, but there's nothing he can do to change that.

In response, he switches back to video, pointing the camera at his knee which apparently makes a really good place for an orange Flabébé to settle down for a nap. ]

Stupid kind.

Niner couldn't dive farther. .

[ That should clear up any hard feelings about a good pilot. She was already below the skyline if she caught Wash. ]

Edited 2016-08-23 14:15 (UTC)

I was kidding about Niner, man. I know she loves me. ...Or Carolina, mostly. But I mean, who doesn't love me? Don't answer that.

[Anyway, there are more pressing matters to address. York suddenly grins at the snoozing flower baby in Maine's lap.]

Oh, dude. I oughta tell you, that's a fairy, not a plant. No potting necessary.

[ He wasn't going to point out that Carolina is the best part of York. It's obvious to Maine that everyone already knows that. ]

So?

[ York's amusement is pissing Maine off. It's a plant if he says it's a plant. He refuses to lay claim to a fairy. Let the man have his pride. ]

[It's true. York also knows that.]

So burying it is kinda cruel and unusual? At least wait until it's trained up enough to fight back, man. Right, little guy?

How do they train?

[ He didn't mean it to be cruel and unusual! Half. He half meant it to be cruel and unusual. Maine thought it would help - this is his first experience with talking flowers in a lucid moment. Push ups don't seem to work in his head.

Guess who else is having a first? It's Rags' first time seeing someone on a PokéGear, and the little Flabébé could not be more gosh darned excited! The Pokémon's face fills the nearly the entire screen. ]

Fla?!

[ Maine can still be heard though. ]

Traitor.

[ He's not even sure if he means York or the flower. Both. He was told very explicitly they're on his team. ]

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