05 ✨ meant for the bf but now the whole world can see it text

[lioness_rampant]

[ Message 1 ] Here's the list you asked for, darling:

-Pokemon treats
-Water filters
-That trail mix with the chocolate candies mixed in
-Detergent pods
-Protection
-Sunblock
-Conditioner for me (it's the lavender bottle) and shampoo for you
-Pokemon shampoo

And if the shop has any fresh bread in the bakery, pick some up? We can make sandwiches.


[ Message 2 ] I love you, and I'll see you soon.

[ Feel free to receive either one or both of these messages. Whatever is funnier, honestly. ]

Comments

[spacebaloney]

why not?
i mean i use the steelix mega ultra brand so i dont know about those
but maybe you need something smaller?
idk dude i dont really wanna have this convo with you tbh

[marmoron]

dude
i don't think i wanna have ANY conversation with you if you're gonna brag about how your dick drags on the floor

[spacebaloney]

i don't really have to talk about it when you can just tell by the way i walk

it's okay to be jealous
it's natural

[marmoron]

you keep telling yourself that's how i feel lance

[spacebaloney]

it must be how you feel
you're the one texting me about condoms like you want my advice

[marmoron]

the devices are glitching and messing with privacy filters
i'd rather drink a gallon of nunvil than ask you for condom advice

[spacebaloney]

wow keith
that's the shittiest excuse i've ever heard
i WuZ HaCkEd!!!!
i wouldn't make fun of you as much if you just admitted you wanted my expertise

[marmoron]

I WAS
why would I ever go to you for help with this stuff

[spacebaloney]

maybe because you finally come to your senses and realize loverboy lance knows what he's talking about in this department

that and i've been banging girls longer than you have so

[marmoron]

you had ONE point about fingernails and that's it.
you're not even saying anything useful right now
all you're doing is acting like your dick deserves a medal

[spacebaloney]

AHA YOU ADMIT I DID HAVE A POINT
i bet once you cut those cat claws you call nails it all paid off for you

and well it does 🏅
ask pidge

[marmoron]

[ JUST. IGNORING 90% OF THIS TBH. ]

it's definitely pidge who deserves the medal

[spacebaloney]

her too
for taking my long rock hard cuban steelix on the reg
what a champ

[marmoron]

never text me again

[spacebaloney]

i love you too
DARLING
❤😘💋💋🍑💦🍆

[marmoron]

[ You know what. Two people can play this game. ]

i'm thrilled to hear it
you just gonna be coy about this giant dick of yours or are you actually gonna prove it

[spacebaloney]

[Lance takes a moment to reply because he really expected Keith to back down. Now this means he can't back down either and knowing the both of them, this is a train wreck waiting to happen.]

are you asking me for nudes
geez keith
what about buying me dinner first
i just don't go around giving the anaconda to anybody who just asks for it

[marmoron]

downgrading from a steelix to just an anaconda huh
what next? a caterpie?

[spacebaloney]

you must be looking at your own dick if you're thinking about caterpies, bruh
even my cojones are the size of electrodes

[lioness_rampant]

Boys.

You realize all of this is still publicly visible, yes?

[spacebaloney]

he started it!

[pidge_out]

yeah and we're ending it

[spacebaloney]

babe, he called it a caterpie!
you know it's not
i can't have this moron dissing my dick
there's rules to this

[marmoron]

yeah i know.
consider it dropped

[lioness_rampant]

Thank you, love.