text: Purposefully anonymous, but woooo boy

[zukeini]

I'm wondering if other people are good at coming with answers on this because I'm kinda not. I'm really not, actually.

But what should you do if you catch "feelings" for someone. Who you know is in a relationship with someone else, but you also think you have "feelings" for that person too? And another person? You think you do?

But like, also it's you realizing that this means you're not straight.

Comments

[captainash]

Ambitious! I like it.

First of all, are they willing to include other people in their relationship? If they've said so directly, it's mostly a matter of hoping everyone's tastes and interests match! If they've rejected the idea explicitely, you must never EVER tell them how you feel, or else things will be awkward.

If you don't know, you'll have to investigate before we go back to the first two scenarios.

[zukeini]

Sounds like I need to find the answers myself, huh?

But including other people in their relationship? Does that...even work?

[captainash]

You could ask a Psychic-type to read their minds instead, I'm sure, but violating boundaries is not the best way to start a relationship.

Not everyone can live like that, I'm sure. And being included could take many forms. Yet if by chance three, five, ten people want to be happy together and are willing to work together and communicate to achieve it, why wouldn't it work?

[zukeini]

...Whoa, you like to just go all out there, huh?

I’m not...into invading anything here. Even if that polyamory thing works well, how would you know if they were okay with someone else joining? Doesn’t that complicate things?

[captainash]

The easiest, fastest way to know if they'd be open to it would be to ask bluntly and directly, but that's also the most potentially awkward option.

However, that's a discussion you can also work towards slowly, carefully. Preferably when everyone involved is calm and sober.

[zukeini]

Being blunt and direct, huh? It's a solution that feels obvious, just need to work out the nerve to do it.

[captainash]

Exactly. You rehearse your questions a few times in your head, you steel yourself and you ask. Of course, that's much easier said than done, but it's not some impossible obstacle, either.

[zukeini]

Kinda feels like my chest is gonna blow up whenever I think about it...

[captainash]

Thankfully, that's nothing to worry about unless it lasts longer than four hours in a row or becomes literal. And even if it does, they might bring you flowers in the hospital!

[zukeini]

GOD DON'T EVEN

TALK LIKE THAT

GOSH

[captainash]

What, it's not like you'd die.

Would make talking it out far more fraught than it has to be, though.

[zukeini]

I can't help but wonder if you're being serious or facetious with that.