text: Purposefully anonymous, but woooo boy

[zukeini]

I'm wondering if other people are good at coming with answers on this because I'm kinda not. I'm really not, actually.

But what should you do if you catch "feelings" for someone. Who you know is in a relationship with someone else, but you also think you have "feelings" for that person too? And another person? You think you do?

But like, also it's you realizing that this means you're not straight.

Comments

[zukeini]

[This...this is too much. Zuke covered his face and it was a few more moments before he came up with a response.

He didn't want to be slick. He didn't want to hide his face from him. But, if he knew now, surely...he'd feel different about Zuke. His traveling group, most of them, knew each other for a while. And Grant? Grant and Dimitri were that close like that. Surely. For all of the nice things they said to him, it wasn't the same. He knew now he was developing feelings for Dimitri, and Grant, and Claude. He saw himself with either of them and felt he could be happy.

But even if they made this polyamory work, it was so complicated for them.

Zuke would just complicate it further. There was no place for him. There couldn't be. He couldn't be the man Nadia deserved, so-]

No, it's helpful. It gave me a lot to think about. Sounds like you're happy, and you worked hard to have it that way.

[nastyboy]

[Oh good, Dimitri feels relieved, and he smiles down at the screen, tentative. If this can help someone else find this kind of happiness...]

I am glad, then. Please let this give you some measure of hope. I would have been happy as I had been, with my first lover, but I am so glad that the others decided to take this plunge.

Perhaps things will be different for you. There is no guarantee either way, and I do have to admit that the pair who started all of this did so in something of a reckless way, I suppose.

Still, you could be happy, and you could make them so. That, too, is a possibility.

[zukeini]

I like your optimism.

[Ba bump ba bump babump. Oh, may he not regret this.]

Would you think you'd feel that way?

[nastyboy]

If something like that could happen to me, despite how I feel I do not deserve it many a time, then I must believe it could happen to others.

[Especially since he feels there are very few people who deserve less than he does.]

May I ask what you mean when you ask me about what way I would feel?

[zukeini]

[CRAP WHY DID HE TYPE THAT. NOW ITS GONNA GET WEIRD. BACKTRACK.]

Like do you see yourself as open to more people like that? You said how people can love more than a few people, and accepting others. Just curious if that means you’d be even more open to other people.

I’m sorry, I’m just trying to understand all of this.

[nastyboy]

There is no need to apologize. It is simply difficult, at times, to understand things with only text to go by.

For such an occasion, of course I would want to check in with all of fmy lvoers first, and it would certainly depend on the individual in question. If it were someone that one of my lovers hated, it would certainly be difficult to arrange.

[Although Felix had agreed to Jaskier being Claude's - intimate friend, when they were all starting this, so... Maybe it wouldn't be as big a deal as he's making it. Hm.]

Yet I think perhaps I would be open to it, if all fell well. It is hard to say without thinking of details.

[zukeini]

[...This felt so wrong. Zuke really can’t do this to him. He can’t. Despite the openness of everyone’s affection and consent.]

You’re a swell guy for explaining this to me. I know you said I shouldn’t apologize but I also shouldn’t push such a question on you like that.

[nastyboy]

Please think nothing of it. Honestly, I almost feel it is my duty of sorts. I have done many terrible things in my life. If I can make up for that in even the slighest way by helping another, I would be glad.

Besides, I know how confusing romance can be. How frightening. If you have any other questions about how such relationships can happen or work, I will gladly answer them, no matter what they may be.

[zukeini]

[Zuke didn't take too long this time to respond.

Somehow, he felt more confident. All over again.]

Maybe. But it sounds like there's people that also want you to be happy regardless.

[nastyboy]

Indeed. I can only hope to do right by them.

Still, I would not want to burden my feelings with a stranger, especially when this is about your own troubles. I wish you the best of luck, however you decide to approach your feelings and the people you love.