9 ∅ [Text]

[callbacks]

what up dj strider back in the hizzouse
and by hizzouse i mean home sweet g-rod
it seems no matter what all roads eventually lead back to the big city which of course is no surprise to anyone with any cultural taste whatsoever
but since its like that
and since the weathers soon to take its yearly turn towards utter ass and i fully intend to hunker down and do nothing but bitch until summer
i was thinking of maybe renting a house??
whats next am i gonna spontaneously sprout an apron and sudden understanding of what the fuck kitchen utensils are actually used for by sentient beings who arent psychopaths
im at least halfway serious though so maybe get in touch if you meet the following criteria:

     1 you want to split rent for a house in goldenrod
     2 youre like twenty years old tops
     3 weve spoken at least like four words to each other???
     4 youre cool living with the loudest creature any universe has ever known and his dear sweet precious exploud
     5 no clowns
     6 no puppets
     7 you dont have shit taste in music

the perks:
     1 were awesome
     2 every night is movie night
     3 you can buy shit thats bigger than a breadbox and have somewhere to stash it
     4 this guy

anyway let me know if youre interested
and if any of my crew are in town ring me up so we can hang

Comments

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[callbacks]

are you asking me to ask jade if she wants to make beautiful human babies with me because were all dating??

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[quadrangle]

I SAID "US," DAVE! I COULD ASK HER.
SHOULD I NOT ASK HER. WHY IS THIS SUCH A BIG FUCKING DEAL, YOU AND I TALKED ABOUT IT JUST NOW.

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[callbacks]

dont ask her jesus christ

[Dave takes a break to flop dramatically onto his face and groan articulately into the bed. Mmnaaaaauuuuughhhhrhrhghghrhg.]

look its just
way too early to talk about babies or families or any of that shit ok??
were still basically diaper crapping infants ourselves whove got no business making decisions like that even hypothetically

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[quadrangle]

[... the fuck even.]

OK. I GUESS.
LOOK, I JUST... I DON'T WANT TO FUCK UP, OK? AND THIS HUMAN SINGLE QUADRANT SHIT IS HARD TO MESH WITH
YOU KNOW. MOIRALLEGIANCE AND MATESPRITSHIP.
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO MAKE A SCHEDULE?

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[callbacks]

fjdlka;lkdfjlklk;g;hlaaaaaaaaaaaaaasdsbhj,.

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[quadrangle]

OK FINE I FUCKING GET, CALM YOUR DAMN RUMBLE SPHERES.
NO SCHEDULE. WE ARE ENTIRELY SCHEDULE-FREE. WE'RE MOIRASPRITS AND FUCK THE IMPERIAL DRONES, THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR US.

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[callbacks]

question


has anyone ever tried to fuck a drone

Re: text

[quadrangle]

HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW. PROBABLY? WHY THE FUCK NOT, MY SPECIES IS COMPLETELY SHITHIVE MAGGOTS LIKE THAT.

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[callbacks]

faith in the multiverse restored
we are all the same deep down

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[quadrangle]

IS "FAITH" REALLY THE RIGHT WORD, DAVE.

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[callbacks]

yes

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[quadrangle]

OK SURE IF YOU SAY SO.
WHAT ELSE SHOULD I NOT ASK JADE ABOUT?

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[callbacks]

generally or in a boyfriend context

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[quadrangle]

I GUESS BOTH? YOU'VE KNOWN HER FOR LONGER THAN I HAVE, SO YOU SHOULD KNOW.
NOT THAT IT PROBABLY MATTERS WITH HOW UNSPEAKABLY HORRIBLE PAST KARKAT WAS TO HER, BUT FUTURE KARKAT IS AN INSUFFERABLE FUCKTWADDLE WITH AN UNJUSTIFIABLY HIGH OPINION OF HIMSELF AND IN SOME WAYS THAT'S EVEN WORSE.

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[callbacks]

you know its sort of unfair for you to shit on past and future karkat when theyre not even here to defend themselves
anyway uh
i dunno man
jade doesnt really like lingering on unhappy shit if she doesnt have to so you probably already have a general idea what to avoid re the sburban suite of douchefuckery

private text

[callbacks]

though
maybe she should?
talk about it
with someone i mean

private text

[quadrangle]

IT HASN'T COME UP? I MEAN
I THINK WE TALKED ABOUT IT A LITTLE WHEN I FIRST GOT HERE, BUT SHE MOSTLY JUST SAID SHE DOESN'T WANT TO. TALK ABOUT IT, I MEAN.
AND THEN I GUESS WE ALL JUST CAUGHT UP IN POKÉSHIT? FIGURATIVELY.
DO YOU THINK I SHOULD TALK TO HER?

private text

[callbacks]

like
idk youre better at having that shit out than i am
and the thing with me and jade is that i guess as long as weve both existed we kinda
mmmm
lets say dave and jade incorporated has long been understood as the venue for acrobatic escapism from the bullshit monsoon that was each of our lives
so even bringing up her issues generally like this makes me feel kind of objectionable
but still like
talking junk out with you helped a lot?? and i want her to have that
but ALSO
she might not want to
and aint nobody makes jade do anything she dont want to
thoughts?

private text

[quadrangle]

NO I HEAR YOU. ALL THAT MAKES SENSE.
FUCK. I CAN GIVE IT A TRY? BUT I'M REALLY NOT SURE I'M THE BEST CANDIDATE FOR THIS, DAVE, AT LEAST WHEN IT COMES TO HOW SPECTACULARLY FUCKED OUR TIMELINE IS. AND THEN THERE'S THE WHOLE BRAINWASHING THING AND HOW DO YOU TELL SOMEONE THEY ORDERED YOUR DEATH BY CULLING FORK?
AND IT'S BEEN LONG ENOUGH THAT I'M NOT SURE HOW I'D BRING IT UP? LIKE HEY, HARLEY, I KNOW IT'S BEEN A YEAR SINCE THIS NIGHTMARE WAS EVEN RELEVANT TO OUR COLLECTIVE EXISTENCE AS APOCALYPSE REFUGEES BUT I REALLY FEEL LIKE NOW IS THE TIME TO GET DOWN AND DIRTY WITH ALL OUR REPRESSED FEELINGS AND EXTENSIVE TRAUMA RE: EVERYONE DYING HORRIBLY.

private text

[callbacks]

yeah that feels weird
maybe just be like
there
so that if she wants to she knows she can bring it up with us and she doesnt have to like hold back or anything like you know she does
yeah?

private text

[quadrangle]

I CAN DO THAT. HELL I'VE *BEEN* DOING THAT. I JUST DON'T KNOW IF SHE'LL EVER BRING IT UP HERSELF?
SHOULD I JUST STAGE AN INTERVENTION OR WHAT.

private text

[callbacks]

karkat
bro
ilu
and im not sure how youre defining intervention generally
but if its anything like what you did with me its probably a terrible idea

private text

[quadrangle]

SHE WOULD KICK MY ASS, YOU MEAN. I KNOW.
I WAS THINKING MORE JUST SITTING DOWN WITH HER, REITERATING HOW COMPLETELY FUCKING AVAILABLE I AM TO TALK ABOUT SHIT, AND SEEING WHERE THAT GOES.
SHE'S NOT GOING TO GO FOR IT, IS SHE?

private text

[callbacks]

oh
no
actually that could be really nice

should i be there?

private text

[quadrangle]

IF THAT WOULD MAKE IT EASIER FOR HER? YES. IF DAVE AND JADE INCORPORATED TAKE IT DOWN THE MERRY JOURNEY DOWN THE ROAD OF ACROBATIC ESCAPISM INSTEAD? NO.
BUT... I THINK IT COULD BE GOOD FOR YOU, TOO? TO TALK IT OUT WITH HER IF YOU HAVEN'T. AND I COULD MAKE SURE YOU TWO DIDN'T GET SIDETRACKED.
UNLESS THAT WOULD BE TOO MUCH AT FIRST? HONESTLY DAVE, YOU'VE BEEN HUMAN FRIEND PALE WITH HER AND I HAVEN'T, AND I TRUST YOU. SHE TRUSTS YOU.
IF YOU THINK WE SHOULD, THEN WE'LL DO IT.

WAIT DO WE HAVE ENOUGH SHIT TO MAKE A PILE BIG ENOUGH FOR ALL THREE OF US? WE SHOULD, RIGHT?