victory_road | [Video, SLIGHTLY backdated to the last week of January]

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[Video, SLIGHTLY backdated to the last week of January]

_{[DING! It's a video post!]

[The video is pointed downwards at the front stoop of a house. Where there seems to be a respectably-sized pile of oblong objects. The camera wavers slightly as it comes into focus on the pile.]

[... It's bread.]

[Loaves of all shapes, colors, and sizes, just... dumped right on the doormat.]

[We're talking everything from the Johto equivalent of Wonderbread to rustic artisanal bakery items.]

[Then the camera's view swings back around to Heather; bleary-eyed, slightly grouchy, and clearly just woke up to find, for the umpteenth time this month, that the secret bread fairy had once again visited her place of residence.]

[All things considered, it's one of the less alarming, more harmless stalker-style pranks she's experienced.]

[But that doesn't make it any less baffling.]}

WHO. IS DOING THIS.

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Every day!

For like three weeks!

_{[She's not necessarily threatened, either-- if any of the numerous parties responsible for and/or generally reinforcing her paranoid upbringing to begin with were doing this, they absolutely would not be leaving bread.]

[But she also does not understand the joke. It's not the Fourth Wall event, after all.]}

And I can never catch them at it, so I've got no clue who it is.

[You know what this is going to need? A conspiracy board.]

But... why bread? Did you-- was there some sort of bread incident? Did you have a fight with a baker?

N... no!

_{[SHE HAD TO THINK FOR A MOMENT THERE THOUGH. She has gotten into many arguments with many people over the course of her time here. But no, not one having to do with baked goods. Not that she can remember, anyway.]}

The most relevant bread has been in my day-to-day life is that I have the occasional sandwich for lunch. And like... who doesn't?

Okay, wait, let me get this straight.

Ever since three weeks ago, someone keeps leaving bread on your doorstep every day. And nothing happened right before than, it just started up out of nowhere? And you haven't been able to find out who it is at all?

[You know what this smells like? ~~bread~~ a mystery!]

Hand to heart, I've tried staying up late and getting up early, but somehow it keeps happening whenever I'm not looking.

_{[GRAB YOUR SCOOBY SNACKS.]}

[Okay. Fuck. Riz is into this now. He getting out his notebook.]

Did you try setting up any sort of surveillance? Beyond staying up, I mean. And did you call any local bakeries? To narrow down where the bread came from?

_{[Heather doesn't even notice the notebook at first-- she's too enmeshed in the general confusion.]}

I thought about it, but honestly there's a whole bunch of Murkrow who hang out around our property that make a huge ruckus every time someone's at the door, so we're just kinda used to them being our living security system...

And calling bakeries didn't even occur to me, actually.

... Wait, you're writing this down??

Of course. I got a pretty good memory, but it's better to have the clues written down.

[He's been busily scribbling while she talked. In his mind, he's already envisioning the clue board.]

Murkrow, huh? We should try setting up a hidden camera. Whoever is doing this could be hitting those Murkrow with one of those sleep spells to sneak by undetected. And we'll need to call the bakeries. They might have security footage that recorded the suspect.

[RIZ YOU ARE NOT ON THIS CASE.]

_{[At this, she groans and drags a hand down her face. But, well, it's not like she can't afford one.]}

Sheesh, this is Goldenrod, there's like a million bakeries... but I guess that's not a bad idea.

Wasn't expecting anybody to go full gumshoe on this when I posted this, I gotta say.

Oh! You are in Goldenrod? That's great. Really great. Where are you? I can be there super fast.

[Why bother waiting for an invitation when you can just invite yourself?]

It's what I do. I'm a detective. I can't just... not solve crimes. [even if they are bread crimes.] If there is a mystery, I want to solve it.

Well I'll be damned.

_{[She mulls it over in her head for a second before deciding FUCK IT. Let's private-eye this mystery.]

[A few taps on the 'Gear later, and an address pops up on Riz's screen.]}

I'm down in the southeast suburbs. It's the house that stands out.

_{[HE'LL KNOW WHAT SHE MEANS.]

[None of the neighbors have remnants of bright blue paint splattered on the front door and a backyard pool full of Sharpedo that occasionally get too boisterous and smash through the fence.]}

[It's good that Heather just goes along with it. Because frankly, even if she hadn't, Riz would still be showing up at her house to investigate this mystery.]

I'm on my way.

[And indeed, after some time, Heather will hear the doorbell ring. Though by the time she gets to it, Riz has already squatted low by her doorstep, magnifying glass in hand as he inspects it for any traces left behind by the suspect.]

Hmm, crumbs.

Yeah, been a lot of those lately.

_{[She is standing in the doorway, quirking a brow at the funny little green-haired guy currently inspecting the bread pile. Man, he's here to be her own personal private detective and she didn't even ask his name. Whoops.]}

Hey, uh...

I'm Heather, by the way.

_{[Crouching down a little herself, she extends a calloused hand in offering.]}

[Riz jumps upright as if on a spring. And when presented with a hand, he immediately reaches out to shake. His hands might be small, but his grip is pretty firm. He's trained himself in that. A good handshake is the best way to make a professional first impression! And Riz does like to be a professional.

Then, after letting go of her hand, he reaches into the pocket of his woolen trench coat to produce a business card, holding it out to her.]

Riz Gukgak. Licensed private investigator. It's a pleasure to meet you.

_{[No worries, she used to be a handcrusher herself. Heather returns the shake with (a normal amount of) firmness. She can already tell she likes this kid-- if only because anyone who would launch headfirst with full enthusiasm into a conundrum as dumb as Mystery Bread either has a good sense of humor or is just that earnest.]}

Heather Mason, Pokemon champion or something. Kinda resting on my laurels at the moment.

You look a little young to be a private investigator, but then the only other one I've known is a weird old man, so I could be biased.

_{[She offers a grin to show she means no insult.]}

Youngest in Elmville.

[Riz adjusts the brim of his hat with clear pride when he says that. He doesn't take the mention of his age as an insult. He knows he is a skilled private investigator. And if anything, isn't it a badge of honour to be this young and already be licensed?]

Pokemon Champion, huh? So you've beaten all the gym leaders and the Elite Four, correct?

[Please don't mind as he digs out a notepad to record her words. It's good to know more about the people you are working for. You never know what facts might tie back into the case. An overlooked detail could very easily lead to a case gone cold.

Not... not that Riz can imagine a way in which her champion status somehow connects to being trolled with bread, but it's still good to have it on the record.]

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[Video, SLIGHTLY backdated to the last week of January]

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